My Mother Has Abused Me And I'm Scared

[Unregistered]

I don't feel safe in my home. My mother has beat me. With belts and her hands. When I was twelve, I wrote a note saying I wanted to kill myself and she gave me a knife. She told me to do it. I was so upset and depressed. I didn't know what to do. She was extremely angry with me and I don't know why. I thought she could help me but she didn't. I ran away once because I didn't feel safe at all. She picked me up and beat me until I couldn't breathe. I'm absolutely traumatized by the whole thing. I was 14 last year. I'm 15 and I still have fears.
I am completely terrified of her. Can I call CPS? What's going to happen? Can someone please help me? I'm on the verge of tears as I write this. Please help.

[ccsmod15]

Re: My Mother Has Abused Me And I'm Scared

Thank you for reaching out to us, it sounds like you are going through a stressful situation with your mom. We are so sorry to hear about this and no matter what is going on in your life, you do not deserve to be treated this way, either mentally or physically. You sound very bright and resourceful and you asked a great question about you contacting CPS. You absolutely can call them and if you would like we can do that for you. You can always call the police if you are being harmed in any way in the heat of the moment.

If it is possible, you can call us at 1-800-runaway (786-2929) and we can talk more about what you are going through with your mom and try to help you come up with a plan that makes you feel safe until you can get help. If that is not possible we have online chat during the afternoon and evenings. At that time we can make the call to CPS for you, if that is what you choose to do. You say you don’t know why your mom treats you this way. Sometimes it takes a conversation to figure that out and maybe that can lead to being able to talking about it with your mom. If you can contact us, either by phone or chat we can have that conversation and try to help you figure out what is going on with your mom and above all help you come up with a plan to keep you safe. Another resource you can call is Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453.
As far as what happens when CPS is called, it depends on whether or not they have been contacted in the past about your mom. You don’t say whether or not you have spoken to any adults about what is going on in your home. If you tell someone at your school, they are mandated reporters, meaning they are required to report this, and will contact CPS when they hear of the abuse.
We are here for you 24/7.