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I'm 18 and need to leave my family/home/life behind

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  • I'm 18 and need to leave my family/home/life behind

    I am 18 and I need to runaway. I've been abused by my family my whole life. My half-brother raped me twice when I was 5 and physically abused me. My mother emotionally/mentally abused me. My father physically and emotionally/mentally abused me. And because of this, I've suffered from depression and have anorexic and self harm tendencies. But every time I try to seek help, my family has told me that I don't feel the way I do and that I'm fine. And I can't take it anymore. I can't stand having my family make me cry in public, telling me I can never leave home because I couldn't survive, not cooking meals so that I don't have food to eat, not talking to and ignoring me, and calling me names, amongst other things. I can't stand the hurt and pain I feel everyday because of my family. I'm just not sure how much more I can take because I'm not sure I can keep finding a reason to live if I stay. I have tried to convince myself it's getting better, but it just keeps getting harder and harder. And I have a way to runaway this Saturday/Sunday because I have a party at my boss's house Saturday night and I could just tell my family I'm getting a ride home so they don't wait up for me and then I could walk to the bank to get some money and from there go to the bus station where on Sunday I could get a bus ticket and leave. And I know where I would get a bus ticket to and what I would change my name to. I also know that it is risky because I don't have much money and I don't have a place to stay once I left or people I know who are where I would be going to. I know that my chances of survival probably aren't great. But I just feel like even a day of freedom and happiness would be worth all the risks.

  • #2
    Thank you so much for reaching out. It is an incredibly brave thing to do especially after all you have endured when you have tried to seek help in the past. You deserve to know that nobody deserves to deal with what your family has put you through. Life has not been fair to you and now you are in an impossible position but you don't have to go through it alone. We are here to help and support you.

    You have every right to want to leave. The good news is, in most states you are legally an adult so you do not need your parent's permission to leave home. As you know, this is easier said than done. Your family's insistence that you are incapable of surviving on your own is a facet of emotional/mental abuse. It is a tactic of control and you are capable of living on your own. You are capable of healing. This isn't to say it will be easy, but it absolutely is possible for you. There are shelters and other agencies out there that can provide you with a place to stay while you work towards independence. There are even places called transitional/independent living programs that can provide you with shelter while giving you the resources and skills you need to live on your own. These programs are often long term and we would be happy to find you one if you call us at 1800RUNAWAY or chat us at www.1800runaway.org. You deserve to live somewhere where you feel safe and respected where you can flourish. We can also look up counseling resources in the area you plan on going to. It can be incredibly helpful to have a solid support network as you move forward. Recovery is hard and you shouldn't have to go through it alone.

    Speaking of recovery, the National Eating Disorder association is available at (1800)931-2237 and www.nationaleatingdisorders.org. They would be able to provide you with support and resources specific to your difficulty with anorexia. www.twloha.com is another resource that is specifically for depression and self harm. They can even refer you to free/reduced price counseling. You are not alone in this.

    It also might be a good idea to check with your bank as to whether they have a maximum withdrawal policy. Some places won't let you withdrawal anything over a certain amount without approval. If that is the case we would be happy to brainstorm a plan with you over the phone or on chat at any time.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
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