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  • I feel trapped and helpless

    I have always had issues with my family, I am a 16 year old girl. Honestly i'm just stuck and I don't know what the right decision to make is. First of all, my mother and father have been divorced since I was 4. My father had a stroke last year in January due to diabetes which has left him in stable yet unstable health. He will definitely die much sooner because he has not taken care of himself. He is also currently homeless and living with his brother whom he hates. I live with my mother, stepfather (since I was about 6)and two younger brothers. None of the children in the family have the same two parents (five children in total but I will get to that). There is my older stepsister (1, a 14 year old previous stepbrother, a 11 year old half brother, and a 10 year old half brother who is also a son to my stepfather. I am sick of the way I am treated here but I have nowhere else to go, I've made attempts to fit in and be a good child but it always ends in myself being abused in some way and giving up. about 7 months ago the 14 year old stepbrother molested me, so I told my stepfather and left friday for the weekend to my best friends house. When getting picked up sunday evening by my mother she began to yell at me, I could tell my stepfather had primed her to be mad at me as he often does. I told her to pull over and I told her what happened because she had not been told. My disgusting stepfather allowed the molester to remain in the house with my little brothers and sleep in the same room as them for two nights. Who says that sick minded freak wouldn't molest my little brothers as well? I had a history of depression and anxiety so I had already been seeing a therapist. My father at that point lived with us (he had nowhere else to go so I had to beg them to let him rent a room). Anyways, my stepfather told me straight to my face that I was a liar and that I made the entire thing up. I have no history of lying ever. I am the most honest and blunt person I have ever met in my entire life. I understand it is often hard for parents to beleive that their child could do something like sexual assault in most cases, but in this case he has raised me and been around me much more often than his son who would only come one or two weekends a month. A court case was carried out after I informed my therapist of what happened and the stepbrother was charged guilty (with little punishment due to the system of juvenile court). Anyways, to continue my mother has allowed this horrible man to remain in our house and began to treat me horribly as well. Whenever they argue she comes to me as if there's a "team me" and a "team stepdad" that she hops between. They constantly verbally abuse me and alienate me from the rest of the children in the family. I can handle the verbal abuse to an extent but when it gets to the point when I am questioning whether or not I wish to live anymore I feel there is a problem. I want to go to nursing school and be a nurse when I grow up. I cannot currently get a job because I do not have a car and we do not live close to any establishments that It would be reasonable for me to walk to as a job. I do virtual schooling because I was bullied at school thanks to my stepdad. My mother kicked him out at one point and he drove over to my best friend since I was young's house and lied and did everything in his power to convince my best friend that I made the entire thing up. I instantly lost all my friends and began getting brutally bullied. I put up with the bullying for months and months (yes I told the school but this kid's mom is in the PTA so her word was taken over mine). Finally my mother allowed me to switch to virtual schooling after 2 years of begging (I have always wanted to leave traditional education). Now I am yet again trapped. My mother keeps cancelling my therapy sessions because she doesn't want me to tell my therapist how I have been treated lately. I can't leave, I have nowhere to go. The only option I can fathom working out is moving to a faraway state to live with my aunt who hates my mother's guts. But I fear that will not be good for my future. Will I be able to get into nursing school there? Will she take care of me or will I be a burden? I'm just trapped and done and I don't know what to do with myself anymore, can somebody please list a few options that I may have?

  • #2
    RE: I feel trapped and helpless

    Hello-
    Thanks for reaching out to us. It seems like you have been through a lot in the past couple years. We are very sorry to hear that you experienced abuse and bullying, neither of those things are ok. It is completely understandable that you are feeling trapped and have had feelings of depression and anxiety, especially since you have tried so hard to get out of difficult situations for quite some time. We are glad you reached out to us and we will try to help out in any way we can.

    We want to first address the questions that you had at the end of your post. You mentioned wanting to possibly move to live with an aunt in a different state. If you decided to do so, without permission from your guardians, then you would be considered a runaway. At that point, your guardians are allowed to do whatever they can to bring you back home. This can include filing a runaway report with the police. The worst that could happen is the police find you and make you return home. However if your guardians find out you are living with anyone over the age of 18, like your aunt, your aunt could get in trouble for ‘harboring a runaway’. If you still decide to go live with aunt, you could try to look into nursing schools in her area and ask them what their requirements are. The nursing schools you find can answers questions about how to apply to enter the school and what they will need from you.

    You also mentioned that at times you have had thoughts of ending your life and that you have a history of depression and anxiety. Whenever you are experiencing these kind of thoughts, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. This number will connect you with a skilled and trained counselor who can provide you support. If you are uncomfortable talking on the phone you can try their website www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org, and can use their chat services to talk to someone. Bullying was another problem you mentioned encountering in the past. A good resource to get more information on bullying and how to deal with it is www.stopbullying.gov.

    You have dealt with a lot of hard situations, like abuse. You reported the abuse you experienced from your step-brother which was very brave of you to do. If you ever experience any kind of abuse again, whether it’s physical, verbal, or emotional, you have a right to report that. Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 is a great number to call for help with reporting abuse. They will explain to you the way the process works, and even the report the abuse with you if you like.

    We are also here for support if you need us. We are a 24/7 confidential hotline and would love to provide support or connect you with any resources you may need. You can reach us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). If you are uncomfortable talking on the phone you can go to our website www.1800runaway.org and use our chat services.

    We wish you the best of luck and hope to hear from you soon.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: I feel trapped and helpless

      I am the middle child in a family on 7 children. My older three brothers except for the oldest one treat me like crap, they have physically assaulted me and have made multiple attempts on mt life. I can't tell my parents because i am afraid of them. I have a birthday in a couple of weeks and i usually get money, I have most of my things packed and am ready to leave if the situation gets worse. As I type this my second oldest brother is hurting my third oldest brother downstairs and i am trying not to get caught. I live in Pennsylvania and am wondering what the laws are on running away. I have tried to before, but i was younger and i really didn't plan it out. I know if i run i have friends who would help me, but their parents know mine,so they might tell them. I am thinking if there isn't a way to run away if i could join military school.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: I feel trapped and helpless

        Hello,

        Thank you for calling the National Runaway Safeline.

        We’re really sorry to hear about what is happening at home. It sounds like a really scary situation. Since you’ve mentioned your life has been threatened, we want to make sure you know that if you ever feel like your safety or anyone else’s safety at home is in question, you have the right to call the police. Since there are so many children at home, do you think the others are safe from your brothers? It sounds like you’re not the only one getting this kind of abuse from them and it sounds like the situation might not be very safe all around.

        Unfortunately we are not legal experts. We can only speak generally about running away. Technically running away is not illegal, but if you’re under 18, your parents have the right to file a runaway report with the police. This means that the police will be on the lookout for you and may check addresses your parent’s might give them. If they find you, usually they will return you home. It’s possible that if you stay with someone while you’re a runaway that they could be charged with what’s called “Harboring a Runaway”. This is usually a misdemeanor offense, but could be more serious depending on the state you’re in. To know for sure, you could ask your local police.

        You mentioned that your parents scare you. That sounds like a difficult thing to live with. It sounds like you’re not comfortable asking them for help from your brothers and may not know who to turn to. Can you think of anyone that might be able to help you? You could consider talking to a counselor or teacher at school if you’d feel comfortable doing that. They might be able to give you advice or give you some ideas on how to deal with your brothers or to approach your parents. It might also help to reach out to your friends or their parents, again, if you feel comfortable.

        It sounds like you’ve made up your mind about leaving home and will be taking off if things get worse. That’s a very brave decision that is not to be taken lightly. We’d really like to make sure you’re safe and that you have a good plan. If you can, it would be great if you’d call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929, or you could try the live chat on our website at www.1800runaway.org.

        Best of luck,

        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment

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