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  • Long story need legal advice

    this is a looong story that I am trying to make short so please don't judge.
    I am currently 16 I have been in a mentally and emotionally abusive household as far as I can remember my parents have always been yelling at me and my brothers and making us feel lower than low. a little over a year ago I was raped by my ex boyfriend and best friend (one person two titles) two days after it happened my friend convinced me to tell my parents what happened and we told the police what happened. I had to tell police and forensics what happened in detail over and over just for the police to finally say "there isn't enough evidence to persue anything" this person is in school with me and since then I have to see him everyday at school and my parents haven't done anything to stop it. since then (and before then) my one friend has always been there for me by this part of the story I am 16 and my friend is over 18 long story short my friend healed me emotionally and sexually. I would sneak out to see him (where I live there is no curfew but I didn't tell my parents I was going out) eventually we got caught right before Christmas break my parents told him we couldn't be in contact until I'm 21 or my parents would press charges on him for helping me sneak out and my mother would spread around that he (my boyfriend) was sleeping with a minor. when my parents took me home that night they took everything from me (electronics and privileges) and my mother said If I tried running away that she would file kid napping against my boyfriend even if I wasn't with him once I had ran away. one of the things my parents took in my grounding is my laptop I paid for it in all of my money that I earned in 2 separate jobs and technically I gave the money to my boyfriend and he went and bought it for me. I haven't had contact with him since that has happened but I know he is waiting for me the only way I am typing this now is on a school computer. since we got caught my mother has been treated me extra badly calling me a "slutty whore" and a "**********" and she also got me a pregnancy test and when it was negative she said "it's probably lying because you're a whore" (I am not a whore I am completely committed to my boyfriend) there are times when i have wanted to commit suicide or run away because my parents had made me feel so bad but since ive been with my boyfriend i haven't wanted to until my parents banned us from each other and now it's getting hard again. I hate it at my house I would love to leave. my grandparents even said they would take me. I enjoy (not really) how when I was raped my parents didn't really try to get me away from the person that did it but now that I'm with someone that makes me happy and distracts me from my family problems my parents have to take that away from me.
    also I am going to therapy about the rape and we also talk about my boyfriend the person I am going to has helped me a lot but she's not really sure about most of this legal stuff. (in case you wanted to know if I was going to therapy or not)

    now you know my story here's my questions. (BTW I live in the state of PA)

    can I get a restraining order without going to court?

    can my parents press charges against my boyfriend if I see him while I'm 18-20 (going against there rule) or because I will be 18 will it not matter?

    could my parent press charges against my boyfriend for "helping me to sneak out"? (even if there's no curfew where I live?)

    could my boyfriend press charges if my mother spreads around that he slept with a minor (posting posters around and word of mouth)?

    could my parents file kidnapping against my boyfriend if I ran away but I wasn't with him?

    is the laptop his or mine and can either of us legally take it from my parents?

    can I make my parents let me live with my grandparents or my boyfriend preferably without going to court?

    could my grandparents fight for custody for me like divorced parents do?

    when I turn 18 if I'm still living at my parents can I legally force them to give me my social security card and my birth certificate and/or let me leave?

  • #2
    re: Long story need legal advice

    Hey there,

    From what you shared, you have really been through a lot. It sounds like you and your parents go back and forth a lot about who you hang around with and what happened to you. We're sorry to hear that it has been so stressful for you to deal with, but it is great that you do have a therapist that you talk to who can help. You really have a lot of specific legal questions, that we may not have all of the answers to. We want to let you know that the best persons to help answer your questions for sure are a legal aid expert or your local non emergency police. We are a national resource, so we do not know the specific laws for every area.

    Here are some very general answers to your questions:

    Usually, you would need to go to court to get a restraining order against anyone. Your parents likely have a right to press charges against your boyfriend if you are having relations and you are a minor. We don't know about pressing charges for helping you to sneak out. We also don't know if your boyfriend has any right to press charges against your parents for spreading rumors. It is unlikely. As a legal right, your parents can most likely file for kidnapping or you being a runaway if they feel either of those is true. We cannot say who the laptop legally belongs to. Most times, you cannot make your parents do anything. They are legally responsible for you unless police or the court finds that they are unfit to take care of you. In order to legally with someone other than your parents, that usually does have to go through the court. Again, it is likely that you cannot force your parents to do anything even if you are 18. We do not know what the process is for your parents to gain custody of you.

    Hopefully we were able to answer some of your questions. Again, you should try contacting a legal expert to know for sure.

    Best of luck to you,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Thank you for answering so quickly. I do know that where I live 16 is the age of consent (not sure if that changes anything) also I know that getting a legal advisor would be the best route of action but I know my parents would not let me if I tried. Also my parents are also very good at lying to people saying that my life at home isn't as bad as it is so I'm sure if I did get one my parents would lie themselves out of it.

      Comment


      • #4
        Another question

        I have another question
        Could I call cps on my parents? Their abuse usually isn't physical but always yelling and threating my brothers and I altho sometimes my mother does slap me and threatens to whip me

        Comment


        • #5
          RE: Another question

          Hello,

          Thanks for reaching out again. It sounds like you are in a really tough situation with your parents. It sounds like you are thinking about getting legal advice. We can help you find legal aid numbers you can talk to that might be able to help. You asked if you can call CPS and make an abuse report. You don’t deserve to be slapped or threatened. You have a right to file a report if you believe this is the best option. One good resource if you are considering this option is Child Help USA who you can call at 1-8000-422-4453 to discuss child abuse reporting. We can also talk to you about what to expect. CPS can take a report and look into the situation, but they might not remove you from the home without evidence of physical abuse. We can help talk to you about other options as well and help you come up with a plan to stay safe. For further support and resources, we strongly encourage you to give us a call or reach us during the hours of our live chat. It sounds like you have been through a lot, and we are here to help and support you in any way that we can. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.
          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

          National Runaway Safeline
          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

          Tell us what you think about your experience!
          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

          Comment

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