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How do I fix mental abuse at my house? Please read

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  • How do I fix mental abuse at my house? Please read

    Im 16 and a Junior in highschool. I currently am in all honors classes and am in a management (shift leader) position at my work. I have always had issues with time management when it came to school and have consistently been working on them. I am quitting my job for more time to work on school and my life has been extrememly stressful with the amount of pressure my parents have put on me with school. Freshmen year I attempted suicide and was put into a mental hospital for a week. This is when I started to think my mom was mentally abusing me. When she was driving me home, she broke down into tears and yelled at me, asking why I would ever do such a thing, then proceeding to ask if I ever cared or thought about her in my life. Keep in mind, i was already in a bad state of mind and was struggling with a major depressive period that lasted months due to the stress put on me with school. I love my parents to death but whenever my mom gets mad, she gets really mad. She has blamed me for my mom and dad arguing and almost getting a divorce in 8th grade. My grades have dropped recently with how much i have been working, hence why im quitting my job, and today my parents found out. They took my phone, (understandable) and threatened to take my car and anything that has access online. My mom also went as far as promising that at 12 AM on my 18th birthday, she will wake me up and kick me out of the house without anything, food, money, ect. even if i worked for it. I recently started medications for anxiety/depression and i believe my mom could be the reason to blame for my mental disorders. I am way too mature for my age. My parents dont let me do anything without their consent, even if its buying food with MY money after school. This year i started cutting myself and abusing drugs, mainly nicotine and marijuana, just to forget the stress of going home. I hate being in this house and want to leave as soon as possible, however, i cannot afford an apartment by myself, and this would put me in an extremely poor financial situation for when i graduate and leave for college. Today i was so stressed out that i started hallucinating while staring at my mom when she was yelling at me. According to Child Help, child abuse includes,
    • Terrorizing: accusing, blaming, insulting, punishing with or threatening abandonment, harm or death, setting a child up for failure, manipulating, taking advantage of a child’s weakness or reliance on adults, slandering, screaming, yelling
    • Rejecting or ignoring: telling a child he or she is unwanted or unloved, showing little interest in child, not initiating or returning affection, not listening to the child, not validating the child’s feelings, breaking promises, cutting child off in conversation
    I feel these are the two main points i have been subject to since middle school. Extremely constantly. Child Help also says these actions can lead to the following:
    • Health problems like ulcers, skin disorders
    • Extreme emotions, aggression, withdrawal
    • Anxieties, phobias, sleep disorders
    • Destructive or anti-social behaviors (violence, cruelty, vandalism, stealing, cheating, lying)
    • Behavior that is inappropriate for age (too adult, too infantile)
    • Suicidal thoughts and behaviors
    These are all things i have or experience regularly. I usually go to bed at about 3-4 am now and have found myself consistently lying and avoiding talking to people, especially adults. I have really bad acne that started about a year ago and mentioned my suicidal thoughts/actions earlier. My anxiety is awful and i cant seem to sit still anymore. All of this has led me to an extremely depressive state, however, i cant seem to talk to my parents about it for fear of them attacking me verbally. I want to tell someone but love my parents too much to go to police or counselors at school. I dont want to leave home in fear of becoming homeless and being stuck at a dead end job for the rest of my life. Please someone help. I cant handle it anymore...

  • #2
    Reply: How do I fix mental abuse at my house? Please read

    Hello,
    Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

    We appreciate you contacting us to talk about what’s going on and how you are feeling.
    Some situations can be difficult to get through and become quite frustrating
    The frustration over the relationship with your mother was so upsetting in the past that you made an attempt of suicide. Things must have really felt hopeless for it to come to that. We understand that things can become overwhelming so we’re glad that you are reaching out today. Good for you. It can be tough trying to sort out your own feelings let alone cope with the abuse from others. You don’t deserve to be abused by anyone. You are not to blame for what others do. We understand how emotionally this has been a very difficult time for you.
    It takes a lot of strength to come through tough times. Good for you.
    Your life has worth and our top priority is your safety. We are here to listen and support you in any way that we can, and we can help you find resources that can help you cope with these feelings. It looks like you have done some research on what’s considered abuse and how it can affect those being abused. Good job.
    You do not have to face this alone, and there is so much help out there for you
    The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
    If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Hotline could be a good resource for you to talk with someone.
    You can check them out at: www.youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org, or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time. You can also call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you need to talk. We are here to listen and here to help.


    Continue to be strong in your fight to survive. You are your best advocate and you are a very courageous person.

    Be safe and take care,
    NRS

    We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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