Please Help

[Unregistered]

I want to run away or live somewhere else, but I have no idea where I would go. I'm 15 yrs old girl and I'm the youngest of 4 kids. My parents seem to not care about my well being. I say this because every time I try to talk to one of them, they start screaming at me and sometimes they'll push me into a wall or throw something at me, but they've never seriously hurt me. They always do this no matter what I'm trying to talk to them about. They almost never do these things to any of my other siblings though. They always compare me to my older brother, and tell me I should be more like him. They take all my privileges away if I make anything below a 90 on my report card, and it's anything from no communicating with anyone or going outside to not being able to eat meals sometimes. They make me do a lot of extracurriculars and the punishments are even worse if I mess those up. Another reason I'm convinced they don't want me is because I was born with a lot if medical issues, and whenever I need treatment or I'm very ill they only take me to the doctor when teachers and other people start noticing. They're fairly normal whenever I'm not around, but I feel like I ruin the family. My other siblings used to beat me a lot when I was smaller, but it's less now since I'm slightly bigger and can fight back. It never got really serious, but it was usually just hitting me until I bled, so I never got seriously hurt. A lot of times my mom has told me that I'm more trouble than I'm worth, or that she should've never had me. A few years back I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, but my dad still refuses to have me treated with medication because he thinks I'm pretending for attention. I'm starting to realize that no matter how long I stay, they're never going to want me, and I need to go somewhere else, but I don't have anywhere else. The whole family (other than immediate members) is extremely homophobic, and unfortunately, I'm gay. They don't know, but eventually they will figure out and they've already told me and my siblings several times that they'd kick us out on the streets, so I don't have anyone. I only have a handful of friends, but they don't really like me. They usually only make fun of me, and they only use me to help them with schoolwork, and so they can cheat off of me, so none of them would ever let me stay with them until I found somewhere else. My only real friend lives on the other side of the world. I've attempted suicide 4 times now, but no one knows. I feel like that's my only option now, since no one would ever take me. Is there any way that I could find a shelter or go into some form of foster care? I'm trying not to completely give up, and that seems like my only option.

[ccsmod6]

Re: Please Help

Hello and thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

It is very brave and courageous of you to reach out for help. You shared a little about the way that you feel your family and friends tend to treat you. It sounds painful to feel your family does not care and that your friends only use you. You also shared that you identify as gay and your family has very different belief than you. You don't deserve to be mistreated, picked on, or harmed in any way. It sounds like you feel quite alone in all of this, and you shared a little about your attempts at suicide which often is associated with depression. We want you to know that you are not alone, and there is support available to you. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 (TALK) www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org. The Trevor Hotline 1-866-488-7386 http://www.thetrevorproject.org/ is a hotline for GLBT youth that experience or have experienced depression and suicide as well. These two resources are available 24/7. Also, if ever you feel threatened or in danger from anyone, you have the right to call 911 for emergency help.

You asked about resources such as a shelter, and we would be more than happy to provide you with resources that ensure your safety and well-being. If you can chat, email, or call us we would need your city and state to provide the closest available shelter near you. Please reach out soon so that we can provide you support and connect you with shelters and other resources in your area.

You are very brave and strong for making the decision to reach out for help. We hope you stay safe and reach out again soon by phone, chat, or email.

Take care,

NRS

[Unregistered]

Re: Please Help

i dunno if im being melodramatic, but here it goes.
my dad smokes and drinks a lot. he got angry and threw glasses on the floor. no one was hurt. both my parents cuss, mainly my dad though.
i cry a lot and there are only two things that can cheer me up: my crush and my friends. but my best friend was brutally honest with me.
i really don't want to leave the town i live in if i run away. i thought about suicide and im ten. is it against the law to run away in virginia?
my plan is to act like im going to school in the morning, but im not. i could stay at my best friend's house for a few days and raid some food and snacks from home. blankets, pillows, bottled water, clothes, and toiletries i could store in my school bag to disguise my plan. of course, i would bid my friends goodbye. then, i would take a bus pass to the city,then D.C. but that has some flaws. im not sure how old you have to be to get a bus pass and the city might be quite dangerous. if i traveled to another suburban area, they could file an alert about me. if that happens, i could always wear a hat or hoodie and some shades.
i came to the forum so i could explain my situation. should i run away or let my emotions cool off after a week or two? i feel like i might regret this choice. PLEASE HELP!

[ccsmod9]

Re: Please Help

Hello,

Thank you for contacting us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

It sounds like you’re having some issues with family back at home. We’re really sorry to hear about how this is affecting you. It sounds like you’re pretty overwhelmed and want something to change. Running away is certainly one way to make a change happen very quickly. There are a lot of things that could happen to you in the city, you’re right it might be quite dangerous.

This looks like a very thoughtful out plan! However, you might be right about being able to buy a bus pass. There also might be some things that you haven’t even thought of that could happen to you. Do you have any money saved up? After all those snacks you take from your house run out, how will you get food? These are just a few things to consider when you make the decision to run away.

As far as the law is concerned, we’re not legal experts here, but generally it is not illegal to run away. But you’re right, someone could alert the police. This is called a runaway report and your parents can do that as soon as you aren’t where you’re supposed to be.

It might be a good idea to “cool off” for a week or two. It might even be a good idea to talk to someone about your situation in a little more detail. It’s always good to have a plan that is safe. We can help with all of that here. If you wanted to call in at 1-800-786-2929, we could talk about all these things and figure out what you’d like to do.
Best of luck,
NRS