helping out a teen

[Guest]

My friend has asked me to adviser her. She is trying to help out a 19 year old girl who has been kicked out of her Eastern Indian home because she is seeing a boy the parents do not like. The child is now homeless and looking to move in with my friend and her family who have been supporting the 19 year old boy involved who is also a homeless orphaned war refugee. Both children are HS graduates in community college studying nursing, working part-time jobs. Things were working out very well for everyone in her home until the girlfriend issue began. (Although the couple has been secretly dating for three years.) The children are very well liked in our community.
The boy started to join the military to get married and support his love, but my friend stopped him.
My friend has supplied both children with old cars to help them get started.
The girl says if she goes home she will be forced into an arranged marriage by her parents.
My friends personal beliefs on teen dating and sexuality are being compromised by this Romeo & Juliet!
Ideally she would like to see the girl return to her home but is concerned for her safety.
Meanwhile the couple are planning to quit school and move to a bad neighborhood to be together.
Everything is happening so fast.
What began as a remarkable and admired act of charity and good will, (taking in the homeless boy after his uncle died suddenly last year), on my friend and her family's part is becoming a nightmare.
How can we get these two good kids back on track and my friends good deeds out of the red?

[ccsmod0]

Re: helping out a teen

Thank you for sharing a little about your friend’s situation. Sounds like there has been a lot going on, and they are looking at some major life choices to make. Yes, it is very nice of your friend to help them out, and we are sorry to hear that it has turned into a nightmare. How long have the youth been homeless? Do you think the youth’s parents would know that the youth was staying with your friend? Has your friend considered talking to the youth’s parents or helping the youth talk to her parents about the relationship? It seems like the couple has been managing their relationship for 3 years, and have considered marriage has their next step. The youth sound like they are responsible young adults by thinking about their options, and how to make things work for what is best for themselves. You had mentioned that getting these young adults “back on track”. What would make them seem like they were back on track? Do you feel that since the youth are well liked in the community that there would be resources available to help? Has the youth thought about counseling options maybe even through the community college that she attends?

If the youth are need any help in finding shelter they can call here or Covenant House “Nine line” at 1800-999-9999 or view their website http://www.covenanthouse.org/.

We are a 24/7 confidential crisis line if you would like to talking in more detail about your situation or pass our number, 1800RUNAWAY (786-2929) to your friend or even giving it to the youth if they would like to talk. We are nonjudging and here to help work process through possible options, provide local resources or just be someone to listen. We wish you the best!

~NRS