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  • My parents are forcing me to move out of the country.

    Help! When I came home from school, my parents told me we were moving back to their home country in the summer. The country is Romania, which is in Europe. The have already enlisted me and my sister in private schools there and are putting the house on the market next month. They didn't tell me anything about it until now and I am freaking out. I am 14 so that means I will have to start high school there. I don't know the language completely, I don't have any friends there, and the culture and everyday life is much different from the US. Also I hope to have a career in the film business, and moving to such a small unknown country will diminish my chances and opportunities. I tried to talk to my parents about this, but they said the decision was final and they didn't care how I felt. I don't want to spend the most exciting years of my life as a outcast and stranger in a much different country. Since I am not 18, I'm not sure if I can do anything about it. I don't know if it is llegal to run away at my age in the state I live in(VA). I just need some answers as to how to avoid moving or how to make my parents see that they are ruining my life and crushing my hopes and dreams. I also think its especially awful of them since I have just applied to tons of specialty centers and have been bombarbed with exams and interviews. And I was really looking forward to attending the school of my dreams which has a great drama program. Anyways I tried to talk to my parents about this, but all they did was took away my phone and my computer- since they said that they didn't want me researching ways out of this awful situation. I literally feel like I am worth nothing and no one cares about my life, I have even begun to have some scary thoughts. Anyways, I'm wondering if you can provide me with some more info on running way.

  • #2
    RE: My parents are forcing me to move out of the country.

    Hello,

    Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We’re really sorry to hear how your parent’s dropped such a life changing event on you so suddenly and that they don’t seem to be concerned with how that makes you feel. It sounds like a really tough thing to process all at once. It also sounds like a lot of things might be changing in your life very soon and it’s ok if you feel like things are a little out of control.

    We’re also really sorry to hear that this has made you feel like worthless and that no one cares. Have you thought about expressing yourself to a trusted friend or someone who works at your school? It may be helpful to just get all this off your chest. You mentioned your parents wouldn’t listen to you when you tried to talk to them. Do you think it would be helpful to write a letter to your parent’s about how this all has made you feel? Even if you never gave it to them, the act of writing all your feelings down might help.

    You mentioned you wanted to run away and are having some scary thoughts. Do you want to go into more detail about these thoughts? We want to make sure you’re safe and have a plan if this is something you decide to do. We are not legal experts, but we can speak generally about legal issues surrounding running away. It is generally not illegal to run, but since you are under 18 your parents can file a Runaway Report with the local police. That means they would search for you, and if they found you, they’d have to bring you home. If you want to know for sure, you could call your local police department to see exactly what they would do if someone filed a runaway report.

    If you want to talk about this in more detail or you just need to vent about the whole situation, please feel free to call us here at 1-800-Runaway. We can come up with a plan with you if you decided to leave your home that would keep you safe. Or we can talk about strategies for getting through to your parents about how you’re feeling.

    Best of luck,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi. I just wanted to let you know I know how you feel. My parents forced me to move feom Russia to the U.S. and they never acknowledged that that was a sacrifice on my part. It's like my feelings never mattered. It always felt like they didn't consider me important and that their needs were always first. What makes it worse is that there's 2 of them. Don't kill yourself. There's plenty of ways out of the situation. Sometimes you just eed to express to them how it is you're feeling. The film career and your culture is important to you, but to them it isn't. They need your help to be able to sympathize with you, so if you can help them understand how you feel as precisely as possible that would be great. That's hard to do when you don't always even know how you feel. They think you're angry, but really you're devastated. They're having trouble putting themselves in your shoes because they don't see the depth of your feelings. Try to be patient with them, as with children. And in the meantime, know you're not alone. Your feelings do matter, and even if they do move and make this bug mistake, try to forgive them. All parents make mistakes, but you still love them, and they love you, despite their limitations. If they understood everything I'm sure they wouldn't hurt you on purpose. They're not cruel, just shortsighted and selfish.

      Comment


      • ccsmod6
        ccsmod6 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi,

        Thanks so much for taking the time to reach out to us tonight. We appreciate you reaching out to the other youth who post onto our forums posts in an attempt to give some advice and share your own thoughts and feelings. Though everyone's experiences are different, it can be helpful to hear that other people are feeling the same way. If you personally ever need anything from our organization please feel free to reach out to us anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We wish you the best of luck with everything!

    • #4
      Hi my friend parents are moving to get better jobs but she wants to stay how can I help her stay here. She is also has bad a relationship with her parents.

      Comment


      • ccsmod1
        ccsmod1 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline and sharing a little bit about what is going on. Its really great that you have created a friendship with them and are concerned about what they are wanting. Unfortunately, we directly don’t offer any services that particular prevent youth from moving to a different country. In making an assumption that the youth is under 18, their parents are responsible for the youth until 18 and would need to ensure their safety and would have influence over where they might move.

        One legal option is emancipation. Emancipation is becoming a legal adult before the age of 18 (depending on the state). In general, to become emancipation, you would need to go before and judge. The judge would look to make sure that the youth can be independent by financially supporting themselves, still be in school, and can live on their own/ separate from their parents. This does take some time, so depending on when the parents are leaving, this may/may not be an choice to move forward with.

        That’s hard that she has a bad relationship with her parents. It isn’t illegal to runaway but in most states is a status offense so if your friend left with out permission, the parents have the right to file a police report. If the police come across her they most likely would return her home. If your friend would have a relative/friend that she could get permission from her parents to stay with, it may be a hard conversation to have , but a way for her to stay here.

        Again, thanks for reaching out, and if your friend is comfortable we can best help them through our direct line at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are confidential and we will do our best to support the youth in any way we can.

        -NRS

    • #5
      Can my parents force me to move to a different country or do I have to since i'm under 18?
      Last edited by ccsmod4; 06-08-2018, 12:33 AM.

      Comment


      • #6
        Reply: Can my parents force me to move....

        Hello,
        Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

        It sounds like you are having an issue at home with your parents involving you moving to a different country.
        We are not legal experts so we can only answer in general. As a minor your parents have the legal right to make decisions when it comes to something like where you live.
        Again we are not legal experts and we don’t know much about your situation.
        Sometimes talking things through might help to come up with some options not previously thought of.
        If you would like to speak more about your situation, please give NRS a call or try our live chat.

        You can contact NRS at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org

        We look forward to hearing from you.

        Take care,
        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #7
          So my parents are making me move to another country because academically I am doing bad.This I new I was doing bad but at the end of year 10 I was working hard to get my grades up, they both don't believe me and they want to send me back to another clcocou to restart secondary school. Even though I was thinking to spend more hours to Improve my education of the summer. My RE GCSE results come during the summer, but how do I convince them to change their minds.

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). It is very brave of you to seek help. We are sorry to hear that you aren't doing well in school and that your parents are forcing you to move to another country. We can't tell you how to convince your parents to change their minds because you know your parents better than we do. You could try going to tutoring or asking your instructors for extra credit homework to make up assignments that you didn't do well on. Here at NRS, we offer conference calls between youth and their parents. This could be an opportunity for you to express to your parents how you feel about moving with the support of an NRS worker. We hope that this information is helpful, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.

        • #8
          Help please somebody help I am 13 I live in abq new mexico usa and my parents are make me stày in a different country I need some to give me some tips to fly back

          Comment


          • ccsmod1
            ccsmod1 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello,
            Thank you for reaching out to NRS. It is illegal for your parents to make you live in a different country. At the age of 13, flying on your own without a guardian’s expressed permission may be very difficult. In your position, you may consider calling the police for immediate help. Child Help can also be a valuable resource for youths who have experienced neglect or abuse. You can access their hotline at 1-800-422-4453. If you are able to communicate with another family member or close friend about your situation, sometimes they may be able to help you out. If you are feeling like you’re being forced into a position you’re not comfortable with, don’t hesitate to give us a call either. We’re here for you 24/7 no matter the situation. We wish you the best.
            NRS

        • #9
          Hi my name is Jesse I am 14
          I have been having a lot of issues with my mom and stepdad and they want me out, I am from Mexico but I came to the US when I was 4, I’ve been studying here, doing everything here but their plan is to send me away with my dad, in Mexico. I am emotionally unstable, ive had big problems with them, ive been hospitalized by them, and I feel that going to Mexico will drive me to suicide. I don’t want to go, ive never lived with my dad and I want to finish studying here, and get better. They plan on starting the process to make me move this week. I’m also sm year away from becoming s citizen of US, i don’t want to lose the opportunity. Help what do I do.

          Comment


          • ccsmod5
            ccsmod5 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there, thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We are very glad that you reached out, it sounds like you are in a really tough situation and it takes a lot of bravery to talk about what has been going on. We are going to talk about a few options and you can always reach back out to us by calling us here at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat us at 1800runaway.org.
            It sounds like you are in a scary situation and we are here to listen and help as best we can. It does not sound fair that your mom is trying to move you to your dad who you have never lived with. If you are feeling suicidal or need to talk to someone about how you feel, the National Suicide Lifeline (1-800-273-8255/suicidepreventionlifeline.org) is there for you 24/7 and you do not actively have to be suicidal to call them. If you want, we are also always here for you and you do not have to hesitate to call or chat us as we truly care for you.
            We are not legal experts, but generally if your dad has no legal custody or guardianship over you, then your mom is the person that is legally responsible for you. We cannot guarantee anything, but we can provide some resources that can offer more information on the legality of your mom sending you to live with your dad. If you are able to contact us again, we can offer some legal aid in your area which may be able to answer any questions you have about such. Child Help (1-800-422-4453) is also a great resource to answer any questions as they are the national child abuse hotline. If you do feel like you are unsafe at home or are being abused, as we are not here to define abuse, they can also talk about what reporting what is going on may look like or if you can report about what is going on.
            We hope you are able to reach back out to us. We are always here for you and we can talk, brainstorm some options, or safety plan. We hope to hear from you soon!

            Best, NRS

        • #10
          hello, can your parents send you away if you are underage like 13?

          Comment


          • ccsmod3
            ccsmod3 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello there,

            Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are scared and hurt, which is understandable considering your parents are considering sending you away from home. It’s brave of you to reach out for help during such a terrifying situation.
            As you are only 13 years old, you’re still considered a minor. Your parents do have primary responsibility for you. We don’t give legal advice, so we can’t say for sure what would happen if your parents sent you away. However, it would depend on where they are sending you and the reasons why. If they are sending you to a new guardian, they might need to make arrangements for adoption. If they are simply sending you away without knowing where you’ll be staying or if you’ll be safe, you would probably be required to go home, or the authorities will get involved. If you feel unsafe, you could file a report with Child Protective Services.
            To discuss your situation more fully, you could call us at 1-800-786-2929. We also have a chat line on www.1800runaway.org. We are available 24/7. We would love to hear from you to discuss more possible options. Thanks again for reaching out.
            Best,
            NRS

        • #11
          Hi, I'm 17 and a senior in high school and my mom (who is an undocumented American and has been in the US for 22 years) just told me that she is thinking of moving back to Mexico. If she leaves she will not be able to come back to the U.S. for a long time or maybe never. My parents recently split up although they were never married and it was very challenging for me as I ended up being homeless for a brief time, I don't live with my father because he is abusive and mentally unstable, also a recovering alcoholic. I know my mom has to leave at some point because she has no future here if she continues to just clean houses and her family is in Mexico and my dad will continue to try to intervene in our lives and she is scared and worn down. I'm really devastated by this news and don't know if I should take a gap year since college is really on my mind but I want to be able to be self sufficient. My main concern is if my mom is legally able to take my little sister with her, I don't want my sister to live with my dad and he also has no place for her because he basically lives in a shed. Will my mom be able to take her US citizen daughter to live in Mexico?

          Comment


          • ccsmod10
            ccsmod10 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hey there,

            Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It seems like you’re in a complex situation which must be very overwhelming. It might be a good idea to talk to us directly so we can go further in depth about the situation and look into options and resources that may be available to you. Please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

            All the best,
            NRS

        • #12
          Hi, I am 17 about to be 18 next month. I live in Trinidad have been flying to New Jersey every year since 2015 on a green card with my mother and step father. This year they have decided to move to New Jersey and are shipping everything up there. I really do hate being away from everyone and everything I love. I hate being up there and I don't know what to do. I have graduated from high school already and I work , but I really don't want to move .. Even when I tell my mother when I'm officially 18 I'm leaving and coming back to my country, she keeps telling me I can't and that she will make me stay with my dad and my dad and I don't speak.

          Comment


          • ccsmod15
            ccsmod15 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello,

            Thanks for reaching out to us. We’re so sorry that things have gotten so complicated with your family. It sounds like your mom is planning to have you stay in New Jersey once the family moves against your wishes and you’re wondering what your options are. We’re not legal experts, but we will do our best to explore your options.

            Although we’re not legal experts, from what we do understand, if you’re considered an adult in NJ, you should, technically, be free to stay or go back to Trinidad regardless of your mom’s wishes. We’re not sure if there’s a difference with how that would play out given that you have a green card vs being a naturalized citizen, but the best place to start if you’d like more information is your local police department. If they don’t take runaway reports past the age of 18, then it’s tough to find a way that your mom might be able to legally keep you in NJ if you don’t want to stay. With that being said, if you’re an adult, then technically, you’d be able to decide where you live, so if you don’t want to live with your dad, you wouldn’t have to. If you have questions about your rights, either the local police department, or even your local legal aid agency, might be able to provide more information.

            Whatever you decide, know that we are here to support you. We won’t tell you what to do, but we will do our best to help you stay safe with whatever you decide to do next. We’re here to listen, here to help. Please feel free to give us a call or send us a chat if you’d like to go more in-depth about your situation. We’re available 24/7 at 1.800.RUNAWAY (786.2929), and by chat every day. We wish you all the best. Stay safe!

            -NRS

        • #13
          Originally posted by Guest View Post
          Hi, I am 17 about to be 18 next month. I live in Trinidad have been flying to New Jersey every year since 2015 on a green card with my mother and step father. This year they have decided to move to New Jersey and are shipping everything up there. I really do hate being away from everyone and everything I love. I hate being up there and I don't know what to do. I have graduated from high school already and I work , but I really don't want to move. Even when I tell my mother when I'm officially 18 I'm leaving and coming back to my country, she keeps telling me I can't and that she will make me stay with my dad and my dad and I don't speak.
          We have landed in New Jersey today and all I have been doing all day is crying. I even had an anxiety attack and all my mother and step father did was argue with me for crying. I called my boyfriend's mother and she talked to me and helped me. I really don't know what to do physically, emotionally and mentally I'm alone and I have no one here. My boyfriend's mother is going to do his visa so he can come stay with me. And I would like to know what’s going to happen, I know we're going to have to get married but what is going to have to take place with him and being able to work so we can both save our money and go back home.
          Last edited by ccsmod4; 01-23-2019, 01:20 AM.

          Comment


          • #14
            Reply: We have landed in New Jersey

            Hi,
            Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.

            It sounds like you are in a tough situation and may be looking for some options to help cope with everything.
            We understand the difficulty you have been going through having to relocate.
            It sounds like you are weighing the possibility of returning to your country and getting married to your boyfriend. There seems to be some other issues you that you would like more information about.
            NRS would like you to know we are here to support you at this difficult time.
            We are here to listen and here to help.
            Let us know how we might help, please contact us at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) orwww.1800Runaway.org (live chat).

            Sometimes having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more and look for options please call or chat soon.


            Take care,
            NRS

            We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #15
              I’m 18 and from the U.S. My parents peer pressured me into staying in mexico, saying that college here was cheaper and that i’ll only be staying for a semester. The end of the semester is next month and now they don’t wanna bring me home and i was never able to enter college in mexico bc i came too late. They get angry any time i even bring up the idea of coming home and won’t even consider it. I dont know what to do anymore.

              Comment

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