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I'm thinking about running away again...

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  • I'm thinking about running away again...

    So I'm fifteen almost sixteen years old. I live with my dad because my mother died two years ago, and both my older sisters are off at college. My mother used to be abusive, but no one ever stepped in and my father refuses to admit it. I'm trans (FTM) and I've come out to my father before. Despite coming out, he refuses to call me by my chosen name, or pronouns, and insists again and again that he will never accept me as anything but his daughter. He isn't a father of the year by any means. Besides his just sh*ttiness of refusing to accept me, he goes out for hours at a time and leaves me completely alone at least once a week to go to his girlfriend's. Sometimes he'll go days without talking to me because I "upset" him and sometimes he'll just forget to buy fresh food because he's too busy with other stuff. I'm in online classes because I couldn't attend school earlier this year due to having to go into eating disorder treatment, and he constantly berates me about how I "don't try and don't work enough" and how I'm "just going to fail again and again". I'm sick and tired of being the one to have to keep the house together and I can't stand to live in a household where my parent refuses to accept me, and constantly tells me I will never be anything . Please help me. I've tried running away before, but always came back before they noticed because of guilt. I'd have no where to stay that I know of and I have no money for food or shelter.

  • #2
    Thank you for reaching out to us and telling us your story. It sounds like you have experienced a lot of changes in a small amount of time. Sorry to hear about your mom passing and also sorry to hear that she abused you and no one believed you. No one deserves to be abuse and you should not have to go through that. Grief can cause a lot of emotions and sometimes it’s good to talk about them. One service we recommend is the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI.Org). They provide free and confidential services that can help you work through some of the things you have been feeling. They can be reached at 1-800-950-NAMI.

    It’s unfortunate that your dad refuses to see you for who you are, talks down to you and leaves you alone for hours with all the chores and no fresh food. In some cases that can be seen as neglect, which is a form of abuse. If you haven’t already, you could consider reporting the abuse you’ve been experiencing. If you want more information about abuse reporting or if you want to file a report, you could call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453.

    Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what to do. If you don’t feel safe and feel like you need to get away Nationalsafeplace.org provides a safe location for you to meet a staff member who can take you to a designated place where you can discuss all options about how to stay safe. You can text 44357 the word “safe,” and your location to find a safe location in your area. Once you arrive let someone who works there know you need help connecting with a staff member.

    One service we can offer is to conference call with your parents. This way you could have a conversation with your parents but you would not be alone. For example, it may be hard for you to explain to your dad how he has been treating you and what you would like to see changed. Sometimes those conversations go better in a conference call because we can advocate for you. You don’t have to do it alone. You’ve been very courageous to reach out for help and try your best despite the circumstances. If you want to reach us, you can chat with us anytime at 1800runaway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’re here 24/7, and we are ready to listen and help however we can.

    Stay safe

    -NRS.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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