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I wanna run away soo bad

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  • I wanna run away soo bad

    I'm 15. I'm sick of my family, sick of my hometown and tired of my school. I've been verbally and physically abused like my whole life by my brothers. I have 6 siblings. I don't care about any of them. I used to be able to talk about it with my boyfriend, I just felt so safe with him. Then got dumped, hah. Never getting close to someone else again, I guess. I literally don't care about my family at all, I want to leave as soon as possible. I have so many problems and no one takes me seriously. Nothing feels real anymore, it's like I'm just completely empty. Like my body isn't really MY body. Like I'm separated from it. Watching a movies which is my life and unable to make decisions of my own, I feel like I have no control over decisions at all anymore. Like my whole lifeis blur and it wasn't me who lived those things, and years feel like minutes and I remember nothing but hours are way too long and I can't recognize myself ans identity alteration is all that I am uhh. I'm so sick of this life I feel like a robot I wanna get out I don't care rich or poor I don't want this anymore tho I do kind of have a plan, I know how I will get food and anything else but I'm not sure where to go. This is NOT an impulsive decision. I've been wanting to run away since I was 12 but I kept waiting hoping it will get better. Well I can't wait anymore. Nothing got better it only got worse and I'm done. So done. I'd like to travel to another country on foot. Is that possible?

  • #2

    Thanks so much for reaching out. It sounds like you’re in a great deal of pain and it’s great that you’re talking to someone about it. You mention that your brothers have abused you your whole life--you do not deserve to be treated that way and if possible you can talk with an adult you trust about what's been going on. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way.

    It’s totally understandable that you’d be experiencing feelings of detachment and apathy after a breakup. Getting dumped is always painful and it can seriously disrupt the way we see ourselves. The feelings you describe sound like depersonalization, which can be a normal response to a big change in your life. It’s important to remember that what you’re feeling is valid and, like all feelings, it will pass in time. We know that can be frustrating to hear when you’re in the grips of it, but things can and do get better.

    We understand why you might want to run away. It sounds like you have valid reasons for considering that course of action and that you’ve been planning it for some time, but it’s important to take your safety into utmost consideration. If you’re serious about leaving home, it might be best to talk to someone about your options and to ensure you have a plan in place for your own safety. If you’d like to talk to someone about what you’re going through, you can always reach out to our crisis line at 1-800-786-2929. Someone is always here to listen and to help. Or, if calling isn’t your thing, you can reach out to our chat service at

    Thanks again for contacting us. We hope to hear from you soon
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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