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My mom makes me watch my 6 siblings while she goes to drink

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  • My mom makes me watch my 6 siblings while she goes to drink

    Me and ADHD brother (TY for short) just moved in with my mom again. She just got a 2 bedroom house (when I was with her 7 months ago, she, her husband, and my siblings and me lived in a motel) and she wanted us back.

    I lived with my dad (who was suppose to go to rehab for a year because he relapsed) I loved it where I lived, because he didn't have any expectations my mom had on me. He knew how to handle my brother better than my mom, and he loved us. But one day, he lost his job, and started drinking again. He fought (not physical) with his girlfriend (who's pregnant, so that's another sibling) and that's when things went bad.

    I called cops on my dad, DHS investigated us, and they decided to send us back to my mom.

    Some drama happened in between me leaving my dad and getting to my mom, and that stressed me out a lot. I dreamt more and became more emotional.

    Now that I'm with her, her husband is mistreating TY because they had issues in the past, mom and him are fighting everyday, and my mom has a serious drinking problem. A few months before I left her, she was diagnosed with a liver disease cause by alcohol. She didn't stop drinking.

    Her husband has a night job, so when he's at work, she makes me watch the kids while she goes to bars. All of them are younger than 10 (besides TY who's 11) and I have to watch them for hours, put them to bed, sometimes cook dinner, while she wastes money (which is to help with our needs, because she gets support) and drinks it all away.

    It was like this before I came to live with my dad, and now since I finally felt freedom there, I'm resisting her more.

    We fight more now, she calls me all these names, I can't trust her, and I feel like crying all the time.

    I don't cut anymore, and I have no more suicidal thought (I decided to live for my siblings, even if my mom and dad hate me for ruining their lives)

    She makes me feel worthless, and blames me for everything. She thinks she can use me as a maid because I'm her kid.

    I feel more bad for my brother, because she and her husband treat him like he's this special needs kid who will most likely drop out of school. She threatens to send me and him to a group home, and I'd hate that to happen to my brother.

    I'm exhausted, and it's only been a week. I dislike my step dad but still love my mom so much. She means so much to me, but she treats me like trash.

    I'm thinking of running away next year when I'll have enough money and resources. Even though I'm told many times that leaving my 5 younger siblings to defend themselves against my mom was selfish, I want to escape her. This sound dramatic lol but I'm sick with her attitude and just want my regular mom back before she got with her husband
    husband.

    And I only just turned 13

  • #2
    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension – it sounds really overwhelming to have to take care of your siblings while your parents engage in destructive behaviors. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

    You mentioned some things that raise concern for you and your siblings’ safety and well-being. From what you’ve said it sounds like there might be some neglect (failing to provide/take care of you and your siblings) going on at home. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

    It can be really hard to have a loved one who is struggling with alcohol addiction and we want you to know that you aren’t alone. If you’d like some additional support, an organization that may be helpful is Al-Anon, they are a support group for family members and friends who are affected by other’s alcoholism. They have a “teen corner” called Alateen which is a special faction for young people dealing with this. You can check the organization out by going to https://al-anon.org/newcomers/teen-corner-alateen/.

    You also mentioned that your brother struggles with ADHD, another organization that may be helpful for both you and your brother is the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). You can contact them by calling 1-800-950-NAMI or you can text them by sending NAMI to 741741. Another agency that could be of great help is the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), they can help you locate low or no cost mental health care providers in your area. Their number is 1-877-726-4727 or you can go to their site at samhsa.gov.

    If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

    All the best,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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