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I'm almost 18 but my dad's abuse is making it hard to wait that long to leave.

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  • I'm almost 18 but my dad's abuse is making it hard to wait that long to leave.

    I'm 17 turning 18 in june and i'm just now trying to find help to get away from him. i've been staying at a friends house, and i'll go home every so often and every time i go home my dad argues with me. yesterday was where it hit a really bad point, he threatened to choke me, and said he wouldn't hesitate to put his hands on me. and hes only doing this because i don't want a license and i'm struggling to find employment. he has been like this for the longest time, i just stopped dealing with it and started standing up for myself. the first instance i remember him being visibly or comprehensively abusive is when he'd slap the back of my head when I didn't do my homework cause of my bullying affecting my ability to work. as I got older, he's put his hands on me a couple times, not often, and he also has said that i'm stupid, i'm a jackass, my clothing choices are retarded, etc. Yesterday he told me he doesn't care about my emotions whatsoever. he doesn't want to validate my mental illnesses, which i've gone into snowden for at one point. all he wants from me is for me to be emotionless like him, his words. all he wants is for me to throw myself into the world without any help, even though he's prohibited me from having freedom till recently so i have no idea what i'm doing. he calls me a 5 year old for crying when he yells at me and threatens me, then he talks about how his life was ********tier than mine so i have no reason to act "like a baby". my mom was never really in my life and i've seen her overdose many times on drugs. i don't really even have anywhere to go but to my friend's house, and my dad is threatening me to not let me leave and go anywhere, especially here. my boyfriend and friend agree that hes self-centered, and that he is abusing me, but despite this i'm still unsure cause i feel like ive gone through nothing compared to other people. my dad makes me suicidal, i also told him this, and he said he didn't give a ******** then threw a pity party for himself saying he's given me everything, i've never wanted for anything etc. he says that since we went and did fun activities when i was younger, that doing stuff like that is stupid now. i don't even know if this is abuse anymore, i'm scared that i've got nothing wrong with my home life and that i'm overreacting. but im also scared that my dad's gonna put his hands on me again and the next time, he's gonna actually hurt me, like, really badly. i can't go home. i have just aboutnobody in my family to go to cause they love my dad. i feel alone.

  • #2
    Thank you for your message. First things first: you are not overreacting. Your situation stands on its own and your experience is valid, no matter what other people may be going through! You do not deserve to be threatened, hurt, and invalidated. Given all that you’ve shared, it’s understandable that you would view your father as “self-centered” and abusive. What you’ve described may be defined as abuse and you have the right to file an abuse report with child protective services. If you have questions about what that looks like and what might happen if you do report, a great resource is Child Help (aka the National Child Abuse Hotline) at 1-800-422-4453. You also mention that your father makes you feel suicidal. Please know that you are not alone in this, though it can feel that way sometimes. There are folks out there ready to support and help in any way they can, including friends, boyfriend, teachers, friends’ parents. Another great resource is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
    Right now, it sounds like you’ve been staying with a friend and coming home every so often, which shows how smart and resilient you are. If possible, it could be an option to continue staying at your friend’s. If that doesn’t seem like an option, you might consider staying at a runaway shelter. If you need help locating shelter resources, please feel free to give us a call. We are here 24/7 to help you think through your options, help file abuse reports if you’d like, and help connect you with resources. Our number is 1-800-786-2929. We wish you the very best. Stay safe and stay strong!
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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