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I want to runaway and live with my sister

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  • I want to runaway and live with my sister

    Hi I’m 15 years old I turn 16 in 4 months and I live in the state of Florida

    I’m planning on running away from my home and going to live with my older sister who is in her 30's and lives in Ohio. At the moment I’m living in my home with my mother and father. My older brother moved out as soon as he was 18 and tries to limit himself on having contact with my family. As some background information for my wanting to leave, I spent from as young as I can remember to around the age of 12 being physically abused by my father. Things such as having to do hours of physical labor receiving butt whooping with leather belts where my father would also use his hands, he would throw objects at me. Once he threw a metal wrench at my head after I stood up for my older brother who he punched. He would make me and brother stand for an hour with our hands out holding the item we left out anywhere around the house to "stop us from being messy". He even had me cut the grass in the backyard with scissors and stand outside in the rain as forms of punishment. He looks at all these things as normal disciplinary acts. When he got angry he would yell and scream calling me names such as "nigger, asshole, ********** , etc". At the age of 4 I ran away with my older brother who was 9 at the time. This was my first time running away. We were caught later on that night because a Police officer saw me and I got scared because I thought PO were bad people at that age. We were given counseling which only helped for a few months then he continued back to doing what he was doing. Of course dealing with this kind of behavior at home as I got older I began to rebel getting involved with bad people and doing bad things. My father tried enforcing rules on me in middle school doing things such as having me go to school in size 36 pants from the boys section. I was extremely slim and a FEMALE so it was intended as a sort of embarrassment I suppose. I used to bring a change of clothing to school because I didn’t want to wear them and one day my math teacher notified him that I was not wearing the clothing I was leaving school with. When we got home we got into an argument in which he grabbed me by the neck of shirt slamming my head into the top of the bunk bed I was sitting in. This resulted in a large bump on my head which my mother was aware of but didn't do much over other than ask what happened and hug me. My counselor saw it the next day and called CPS but by then the bump had reduced in size and my Dad was quick to come up with a fake story about how I did it myself. We continued to have small incidents like these in which he would use my diary that I kept writing down all my feelings about what was happening saying things like I hated him and I wished he would die , as evidence against me. I run away another 2 times after that and contemplated suicide twice. I began cutting in 7th grade but because " I wasnt trying to kill myself" I wasn't taken to get help. I was removed from my middle school 8th grade year and put into virtual schooling where I spent my days with him 24/7 accompanying him at work and helping him. We didn’t have another incident till 9th grade where I went walking around the neighborhood with some boys after dark and he got angry that I left the street and picked me up in the car and drove me back home where he continued to scream at me and attempted to strike me but my mother held him back. I ran away that night to avoid having to deal with the situation the following morning. I stayed at a friend’s house for 3 days and then his grandmother returned me. That day I took 28 pain killers in attempt to kill myself. My dad took me to the hospital later that night and told me to tell them that I had taken it because of a headache and not because I was trying to kill myself. I went along with this and went home. I didn’t have many other problems till recently where he took my phone and saw some messages between me and my girlfriend outing me as bisexual meaning I like girls and boys. This was not taken very well as my father is very religious. He has cut me off from every form of technology possible I’m only able to use my school computer to work and then it’s taken. My parents have decided to get me a counselor from their church to “fix me or pray the gay away”. He’s trying to remove me from the magnet school I’m in and place me back into Virtual School ( VS) meaning I’ll be with him all day once again which is what caused all the problems I had last time and causing me to become very depressed. I do not want to have to go through all this again for the sake of my mental and physical health. I have spoken to my sister about this and she has offered to house me in her home till I turn 16 when we can take my father to court in order to get emancipated. (Everyone in my family except for my mother and father are going to back me in court) My plan is to leave the day before spring break. The airport is right across the street from my school and I already bought my plane ticket.
    My question is could my sister get in trouble for keeping me in her house EVEN if my father doesn’t charge her?
    And could I be granted emancipation in the state of Florida considering my circumstance?
    And because I’m leaving during the school year would I be able to enroll in a school in another state without giving up my location?

  • #2
    Re: I want to runaway and live with my sister

    Hi there,
    Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline! We’re glad you reached out and we will do our best to help you out any way we can. It sounds like you’ve been through so much with your father and we can’t imagine how hard that has been for you. You definitely do not deserve that treatment, and we’re very glad you reached out to get some help for yourself. You’re very brave and smart for seeking out resources. It sounds like your family, besides your parents, are very supportive and we’re glad to hear that.
    It sounds like you have encountered a lot of abuse throughout your life. You have had thoughts of suicide before and we wanted to make sure you have resources in case you experience these thoughts again. You always have the option for to call us or you can call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). We want to make sure you are always in a safe place mental and physically.
    Another resource that may be helpful to you is an abuse hotline. You have been through so much. You don’t deserve to be hurt. We have concerns about your safety and don’t want either you or your brother to continue getting hurt. For general information, you can call Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 but if you are ready to make a report you can call the Florida abuse line at 1-800-96-ABUSE (1-800-962-2873). You don’t have to call alone. We can help you through making a report. You can call us so we can call the abuse line together. That is one option. Another option, can be to inform a trusting authority figure like a teacher, police officer, family member or friend.
    You did have a question about your sister getting in trouble. She can only get in trouble if your father press charges against her for harboring a run away. You also mention emancipation. Emancipation usually takes a long time to finish and hardly ever gets granted. Something else to consider is granting custody to your sister. If you would like legal aid resources we would be happy to give them if you call in or chat with us. There are so many we would have to narrow down an office for you. Enrolling into school can be very difficult to do without a guardian. You may need to tell your situation to the schools so this can happen which can lead to an abuse report being filed since all people that work in a school are mandated reporters.
    Lastly, you did express that your father was not happy to find out you identify as being bisexual. We want to be sure you have a resource available to you in case you need further resources and/or someone to talk to. You are open to call us or you can call the Trevor Hotline at 1-866-488-7386.
    Again, you are very brave in reaching out to us. You don’t deserve all that you have been through and we really would like to see things get better for you. We are available to support you 24 hours every day at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or you can chat with us at 1800RUNAWAY.org. We are here for you.
    Best of luck,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: I want to runaway and live with my sister

      So in my current condition it would be easier for me to have transfer of guardian over to my sister( who lives in Ohio) rather than try and get emancipated ? Would the State try to transfer my guardianship over to someone within the State of Florida , because that would mean my Aunt who lives very close to my father ? Also the physical abuse has mostly stopped everything hes currently been doing can be constituted as discipline. That's why I haven't tried to open another CPS case . As well as I feel my credibility with them is non-existent as hes labelled me as someone who hurts themselves to hurt him.
      But there is A POSSIBILITY that I could apply to school without my father being aware. Like if I explained to the school my situation would they do it without notifying him of my location even if they do open a case ?

      THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR RESPONSE. I cant even express how much its helped

      Comment


      • #4
        Hello,
        It sounds like you have a lot of questions revolving around how to keep yourself safe, and what you can legally do regarding guardianship and enrolling in school. We’re not legal experts, but we will do our best to get you the information you need so that you feel comfortable with your decisions.

        You first asked whether it would be easier to transfer guardianship rather than try to get emancipated. We really can’t speak to whether it would or wouldn’t be easier, mostly because how long and how complicated the process is for establishing guardianship versus emancipation varies from state to state. How your state handles guardianship (sending you to your sister in Ohio versus your aunt in Florida) is a great question, but one that someone more familiar with the laws in your state would need to answer for you. You mentioned your concerns about opening another CPS case. Opening up a CPS case is a really personal decision. We would encourage you to do what you are most comfortable with, and know that we will support you in whatever you decide.

        You also brought up the possibility of attending school without your father being notified. You have the right to an education according to the McKinney-Vento Homeless Assistance Act. This law defines how and when you might be able to enroll in school. We can’t say with certainty how each school will handle a youth trying to enroll without a legal guardian, but most school districts try to have someone available that can explain how enrollment would work.

        You’re doing a great job making sure that you keep yourself safe as you make a decision. We would be happy to help you identify legal resources that can answer all of your question, so feel free to reach out to us by phone or chat. You can reach us by phone 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786.2929) or by chat every day from 4:30pm-11:30pm CST. Remember that we are here to support you in whatever you decide to do.

        Best of luck,
        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment

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