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I want to run away, but i'm scared.

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  • I want to run away, but i'm scared.

    Hi, i'll call myself Emma. I'm in 9th grade. My parents divorced when I was 6 years old and I've always lived at my mums house, and saw my dad, my step mother and step sister on weekends. I was very happy. Until..

    It all started about a year ago when my mum met a builder, they became friends and then dated. It was the first guy she dated since my dad. Me and my sister liked him, he was funny, kind and just a normal person. He used to come eat at our house, sleep at our house and come nearly everyday. Then we discoverd who he really was. We discoverd the hard way that he was an alcoolique. He was drunk only at parties, then one or twice in the week, and then at least 5times a week. My mum was blinded by the fact that he was the only guy that loved her since my dad and didn't want to open her eyes on who he really was. He never cared about her, and that's how they became only sex friends. He came over a lot, at night, with out warning, drunk. I would beg my mum to tell him to go home, and she would ignore me or say "I can't make him sleep outside".

    I would hear them have sexe every night, I would seat there in the darkness of my room crying in silence, my head under the pillow waiting for it to stop so that I can finally get to sleep.

    Then, he moved in for 3months because he lost his house he was illegaly living in. I begged and begged my mum not to let him live at our house because she knew that me and him always used to get in a fight. she ignored me and said " it's my house I will invite my boyfriend when ever I want". So yeah, they got back together, even tho he still didn't care about her.

    Me and him started getting in big fights because he used to hit and insolte me. My mum didn't care the night he scream at me telling me I was a poor **********, that my existence mean't nothing even tho he wasn't even drunk. I heard them everynight, for 3months, I cut a lot, everynight, but nobody ever knew. I nearly called the police one time. My sister told my dad about what happenned at home, he was furious at my mother but couldn't do a lot. He begged us to live there but I didn't want to move because I loved the house I lived in.

    So my mums boyfriend finally found another illegal house to move into. He finally left our house. But was back every day, sleep't over all the time and insolted me all the time aswell. I didn't have a lot of sleep, but good friends to help me in bad times. One night, it was his birthday, my mum took us to the restaurant, he pushed me against a table, knocking it over, picked me in the back with his working safety shoes, and "accidently" punched me in the lip. Since then I didn't want anything to do with him anymore, we got home, he screamed at me calling me à ********** and ect ect...

    My mum didn't care, she invited him over all the time, I never came out of my room when he was there. As it continued of daily insoltes, one night I ran away after he said that he will never leave my house until I leave. So I didn't, ran away to my dad's. Were I am now.

    It was getting back to normal in my life until living with my dad wasn't as easy as I thought. Loads of rules, I don't feel at home, I feel like à tourist and my best friend since 4years has became best friends with a new girl. I feel lonely. A friend of mine has a few problems aswell. We want to run away together when it becomes too much. But i'm scared because my dad loves me to bits and I don't want to make him panic.

  • #2
    Re: I want to run away, but i'm scared.

    Hi there!

    Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We’re really glad you reached out and we want to help you in any way that we can.
    First of all we want to commend you on taking the right steps to try to get relief from your situation and negative feelings. It’s not always easy to ask for help, but we’re very glad you did. It sounds like you have been having a really tough time at home for a while now and you are just about fed up. We’re so sorry to hear that you were feeling unsafe and unwanted in your mom’s house for so long because of her boyfriend. That had to have been really hard and you definitely do not deserve to be treated that way in your own home. For future reference in case you are ever in a similar situation, you do have the right to file an abuse report if you feel unsafe in your home. We know that sounds scary, but here at NRS we would be happy do discuss that with you, or Child Help (1-800-422-4453; is another great resource as well.
    We’re glad you realized you didn’t deserve that treatment and left for your dads. We’re so glad you are safe now, but sorry to hear that you don’t quite feel at home there. We know sometimes it can be intimidating to talk to your parents about that kind of stuff, but have you tried telling him how you’re feeling? Here at NRS we offer a conference call service, where you and your dad could have a conversation about it with one of our trained staff members on the line to help keep the call constructive and positive. We would be more than happy to talk about that option with your further if you think you may be interested. Additionally, if you decide that running away is the best option for you, we would be happy to help you come up with a plan, as your safety is our main concern here at NRS.
    You seem like a very smart, caring individual and we want to thank you again for reaching out. We would love to discuss your situation further with you to talk about options, come up with a plan, or just listen if you just want to talk. Contact us via live chat at or our 24/7 hotline at 1.800.768.2929. Keep your head up and we hope to hear from you soon!

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)


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