I’m in halfway through my last semester of High School and I don’t want to be home

[Guest]

I’m halfway through my last year before going to college and I just want to move out. This year has been especially stressful. Along with applying to colleges and for scholarships, my mom has been has large source of stress for me. She constantly tells me that I hate her and when I tell her that something she said upset me she says that my feelings don’t matter because she’s the parent and I’m the child.

I started working during the fall semester and was tired trying to balance home and school and I will forget to wash clothes or make my bed before leaving for school or work. My mom will tell me that since I didn’t clean my room that means that I hate her and will tell me that I don’t need to stay at her house. She has kicked me out of the house before for a few hours but I was back later that night. I love my mom and my family but I don’t want to be at home anymore. However, my mom told me that once I leave the house she won’t help me pay for college. I don’t know what I should do. Should I stay home and be miserable or leave and risk not being able to afford college?

[ccsmod10]

Hello there,

Thank you for reaching out to NRS and having the strength to share your story with us. We are sorry to hear about your situation and what you’ve been dealing with. Ideally, home would be a place where people feel safe, loved, and valued, and you do not deserve to be treated that way by your mother. You’ve been very courageous to reach out for help and try your best despite the circumstances.

It sounds like you’re being put in a position to have to deal with your mother’s behavior; we’re sorry and that’s not very fair to you. An option could be to share some of your chores with people in your household who are more sympathetic to your situation. This way, your mom wouldn’t use these chores as the reason that you “hate her.” If this isn’t possible, and we understand that it may not be, then managing your interactions with your mother could help you get through the interim until you can go to college. You may not be able to influence how she responds to you, but you can try to manage your reactions and not give her control in the situation. If you haven’t already, we would encourage you to write down how you feel for your own sake to vent your emotions, as well as engage in other coping activities, like exercising, listening to music, or talking to a loved one, in order to get through the next few months.

What you need to do is entirely up to you, but if you need to leave for your well-being then communicating with your school about your changing financial needs could be helpful. There are scholarships and grants available, and the financial aid office in your school could help you know more about what your options are, if it ever came to that.

We would love to talk more about the details of your situation so that we can work towards a solution that you find acceptable. If you would like to share more, please feel free to call our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or use our Live Chat.
We hope this information was helpful and take care.

National Runaway Safeline
[email protected] (Crisis Email)
1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)