I can't stand it here. Somebody please help.

[Guest]

Hey.
So I decided to finally try something, as I'm awfully sick of home.
Nobody here accepts me, they took my phone away.
I'm transgender (haven't transitioned), and I have an s/o who lives in Arizona. But here's the thing: I'm sick of it. I'm sick of pretending I'm alright. My dysphoria and depression make everything worse, and I can't stand it here. I don't have wifi at home so I'm typing this on a school computer. It doesn't matter to me anymore. I keep having suicidal thoughts and I just want to get away. There are no other outlets I can go to. I hate life, I hate all of this. I feel like I'm going to go insane if this continues. I can feel my will to live and my sanity draining every day, I can't sleep correctly. Please. Somebody help me before someone ends up getting hurt. Please, I just want to live happily and I can't. I think my step mum wants me to go insane, but I just want to run away. I can't stand it here. As I said, I don't have a phone so I can't call the Trevor hotline, and I just need some help. Please.

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are feeling pretty depressed right now, so first we wanted to give you credit for reaching out for some help. We are a 24-7 crisis services hotline, and we are to help you!

We can understand you’re going through of a lot of change, you aren’t feeling supported by your step mum at home and you just want to get away. We get it!

So let’s talk about what you do do to get through this:
Talk to a counselor at school. Not sure if you’ve tried this yet, but they are trained to talk to youth going through things just like you and they can help you look at these issues in a different way.

Go online and read more about how to cope with youth with similar feelings. I know you can’t call the Trevor hotline, but they also have a good website with a great section on common questions LGBTQ youth have:

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/trevor-support-center/#sm.0001fmtutyjfncoqsnf1kyv41rgbu

Talk to a trusted friend or family member. Think about someone you trust and open up to them about these feelings you have. I’m sure that person doesn’t want to see you harm yourself or do something worse. As bad as it may seem today, we hope once you can get some good sleep you can wake up feeling a little bit better.

And finally, it will get better. Perhaps you’ve heard of Its Gets Better Project. It’s all about sharing stories and examples of individuals who’ve had these kinds of harmful thoughts and are now thankful they are in much better place. Here’s a link to the site with thousands of short videos you can check out -- you are not alone in having these feelings!

https://itgetsbetter.org/stories/

Thank you again for reaching out to us and we hope this has been helpful. I know you don’t have access to a phone, but if you’d like to discuss this anymore or chat more about what’s going on at home, please don’t hesitate to call us at the National Runaway Safeline. You can reach us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.