My mum makes me want to die

[Guest]

People keep telling me to tell my parents if i'm worried, scared or depressed but my mum is the reason. I can't talk to my dad because if he listens to me my mum will get mad at him and make him side with her. I cant talk to anyone about it, they bully and judge me. No one understands. I am always worried about homework because whenever i go to do it my mum takes my phone off me and if im not doing it 'correctly' which by that she means to her standard of getting everything 100% right, she threatens to take it off me for days or weeks and takes my laptop away so i cant do it, simply saying 'get in trouble'. but i need my phone because i only have one friend which i never see and we only talk over phone and i walk home everyday so i think i should have it for safety. Anyway, thats not the problem. she lets my brother do everything he wants even though he is two years younger than me, he is allowed to spend roughly 4 hours gaming a day when im only allowed 20 minutes. My mother swears repeatedly at me, but when i say as much as 'shut up' i get punished harshly as i am a bad example for my favourited brother. She punches me, pulls me by my hair, holds me against a wall with her hands around my neck, and digs her sharp nails into my arm. One day i felt so low i started cutting my wrists but then started to panic, knowing my classmates would tease me when they saw it. So i came and i asked my mum if i could have something to cover it up, and her response was 'your not that much of an attention deprived b**ch, are you? No, go to school like that and get teased' and i did. I never want to get out of bed, i will have to see and speak to my parents. I will go to school and get teased. Im only 12 as of two weeks ago. I have tried jumping off my balcony and off the top of the stairs many times. Please help me.

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS