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17 And Can't Stand This Life

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  • 17 And Can't Stand This Life

    I'm 17 years old and a junior in a New Jersey school. I moved here almost two years ago and hate it. The students are rude to me, pick any grade there and yeah they're 9 times out of 10 some of the students that are currently bullying me. My mother, who I live with, is verbally abusive and her husband has a temper of a mad man. He, on numerous occasions, has gotten completely out of control. He has even hit his youngest out of five children (which he had with three wives.)

    Now, I would normally escape to my bedroom, but I don't have one. I sleep on a pull out couch in the living room. All my personal belongings are either in my mother's bedroom, or they were thrown out because my stepfather believed it was in his way. I'm not allowed to go anywhere outside because my mother insists I'm too dangerous, when in reality I'm the most timid out of her whole family.

    I've asked my father if I could go home, back to living with him and his wife but he says that I should just talk to my mother. I can't do that, her moods change so quickly that I have no idea who's going to come home every day.

    I want a way out, but I'm not suicidal so the only appealing option to me right now is running away. I don't know where else to go, or who to run to, since my father lives many states away. What should I do? Who should I talk to? I need help, but no one here is listening. All I get is "Oh that's sad." Or "I can't do anything about that." Or even about the kids in school "They're just playing around, stop being so sensitive."

    I've skipped three days of school, and had five excused absences. The school has been adding days to my absences like crazy, it's at a number ridiculously high for me and I can't put together how I possibly missed that many days. I know exactly why I was absent for the exact days. My depression is worsening, I can't find reasons to do the things I love anymore. I want to sometimes, but I just can't bring myself to do it.

    What am I supposed to do? My mother can't afford a therapist. I haven't even met someone in my school that knows who the guidance counselor is. Please help me.

  • #2
    RE: 17 And Can't Stand This Life

    Hi there,

    Thank you so much for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS) and sharing a little of your story with us. It sounds like you are struggling with a lot of different things right now which is making it difficult for you to find the energy to get to school and follow a regular routine let alone do the things you once found joy and comfort in. It is not fair that you have been mistreated by family at home and then peers at school. You do not deserve to be mistreated in any way by anyone. You mentioned a little about not being able to go to a therapist to help manage depression, but we would like to offer you some resources that could possibly be free of charge or low cost. If you called in to our crisis line or chatted with us we would be able to locate resources in your area. Sometimes therapists will grant a set number of therapy sessions before they charge. It all depends on the agency or clinic. You also mentioned a school counselor who may best be located with the help of a teacher or other school staff member. Asking for help is a sign of strength, and we would like to help as best as we can.

    If we can offer a couple resources at this time, the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance may be a helpful resource to learn coping skills and understanding of your depression by sense of community through the following website: And the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a support for anyone struggling with stress, depression, suicide, or other issues at 1-800-273-TALK (8255),

    Again, we are here as support to you as well. Our crisis line is free, confidential, nonjudgmental and available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week by calling 1-800-786-2929.

    We wish you well and look forward to speaking with you soon.

    Take care,

    Last edited by ccsmod6; 01-11-2016, 07:13 AM. Reason: added resource
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


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