Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

17, Being abused and want to move out.

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for taking the time to contact us here at NRS and we appreciate you sharing your situation with us. It is totally understandable you would want to leave your grandma's house. It sounds like it has not been safe for you at all. You do not deserve to be treated that way.

    While we are not legal experts, we can speak generally on this. The age of majority in most states is 18 and this is the age at which you can leave home without permission from your legal guardian. If you do decide to leave, your grandma can report you as a runaway to the police. Running away is not illegal but it is a status offense. This basically means your grandma can ask police to return you home if she knows where you are staying.

    Now you do have the right to report the physical abuse to police and child protective services. However, this does not necessarily mean you would have the legal freedom to choose where to live because you would still be a minor. We are happy to connect you with legal aid for your state if you call or chat with us. A lawyer would be able to give much more specific information regarding criminal charges or a restraining order.

    If you would like to talk more about your options or you want an legal resources, please do not hesitate to reach out anytime. We are available for immediate support to provide resources and help come up with a plan by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or through live chat at 1800runaway.org.

    Stay safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    This is the second time I’ve been abused by my grandmothers boyfriend this year. I’m 17 years old, but it’s difficult for me to get a job and I have places to go. If I contact any police officer they always believe my grandmother and her boyfriend. I had proof last time where he hit me and they believed them over me so I just want to try and get a restraining order and press charges on them so I can leave..can I do that?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. You deserve to have your mental health needs acknowledged and given the support you need. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

    It can be really hard to live with mental health issues like anxiety and depression, and we want you to know that you aren’t alone in addressing them. If you’d like some additional support, an organization that may be helpful is the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). You can contact them by calling 1-800-950-NAMI or you can text them by sending NAMI to 741741. Another agency that could be of great help is the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), they can help you locate low or no cost mental health care providers in your area. Their number is 1-800-662-4357 or you can go to their site at samhsa.gov.

    We aren’t legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, if you do opt to leave your home your parents can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor. If a runaway report is filed and you are located by the authorities you will most likely be returned home.

    If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

    Stay safe,
    NRS

    We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm 17 and i would like to move out because my mental health is horrible from how my parents and family treats me. They have been good parents just have not been able to help my mental health. I'm having a lot of panics attacks and I know if I called cps or something and they found out they would scream and cry and guilt trip me into backing out of the idea until I am 18. They have known about my anxiety and depression but haven't really tried to understand how much it affects me. I know it doesn't seem that bad..it just is getting to stressful. And my anger issues that I used to have very mild are getting harder to deal with. I'm just needing either advice or a way of how I can get out of my house legally. Thank you for taking your time if you do decide to reply. I'm also sorry if it's not very important and necisary that I leave my house.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for taking the time to reach out to us here at NRS and we appreciate you sharing a bit about your situation. We understand it can take a lot of courage to contact someone for help and to open up about how you are feeling. This was an excellent first step to getting any support you may need. Home is supposed to be somewhere you feel safe and supported. It is not okay for your parents to be failing at this or to talk down to you. Their words and actions are not a reflection of your worth as a human being. You deserve to be treated with respect and to feel cared for by the people around you.

    It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 (www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org) is always available if you need someone to talk to about how you have been feeling. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of.

    A helpful start could be reaching out to the people you mentioned as well as other trusted people in your life for support. Your safety is very important and it is understandable to be feeling like leaving home might be the best option for you right now. Perhaps your friend, grandma, or another trusted adult can offer you a safe place to stay.

    Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

    Stay safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I’m 16 will be 17 in September. I am emotionally abused by my parents, they make me feel worthless telling me how I ********ed up and never leave me alone about making small jokes and picking at me about the mistakes I’ve made. I don’t feel safe living at home as it will only get worse in my depression and anxiety as I can barely look at myself in a mirror and I feel like leaving the world. I want to leave home and live with a friend or my grandma, and I was wondering what to do because I’ve debated going back and fourth between leaving the world or leaving home. Either way it is a risk but everyday I try to get by and everyday I just feel worse and worse and I need help.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,
    Thanks for reaching out to NRS, it seems like you have been through a lot because of your dad and are feeling understandably tired of the situation. It seems like you’ve taken steps before talking with CPS and DHS before but they didn’t take effective enough steps. It seems like your mom is also unwilling to leave just yet despite how she is also being treated which seems like it could be really frustrating. Your father should never threaten to kill your mom like that, and it makes sense to feel unsafe in that environment. You do have a few options yet.
    1) Getting permission from your parents to stay with your grandparents for a while. If you have permission to stay there for a while and let things cool down and relax for a bit. That might help you to put things in perspective and come up with a long-term plan.
    2) Finding more support for you and your mom. It seems like if you could, you would be ok with staying with your mom if your dad wasn’t involved. There are hotlines specific to domestic violence you, and your mom could reach out to for more help. The National Domestic Violence Hotline can be reached at 1-800-799-7233 or online at thehotline.org.
    3) Going through CPS/DHS again. It seems like the first time they tried a less intense reaction to the situation but if that hasn’t worked they might be more willing to get you out of an unsafe situation like that. You can check out childhelp.org or call 1-800-422-4453 to reach the Child Abuse Hotline. There is a possiblilty they would send you to a family member that is more safe than your current home. Although your other family may have to become a foster parent to you or adopt you for it to be a long term solution.
    4) If your mom is threatened or hit again and you are afraid for her, or your own well-being you can also call the police and have them come in to diffuse the situation. They may help to get you to a safer place while things cool down between your parents if that were to happen as well.
    Hopefully those options help. If you did get to the point you felt like running is your only option and a runaway report was filed then it is a Status Offence. This means police wouldn’t arrest you, and its not a crime to have left the home. So police would only bring you back home. They are also supposed to listen to you if you have a claim of child abuse before they force you back home.
    If you have more questions or just need someone to talk with please call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or use our online chat at 1800runaway.org.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm 14, and I was wondering if I could get any help on a situation that I’ve been dealing with for a while. My dad has been abusing my mom and I these last few years. I didn’t speak up about until my friend pushed me to since he was very concerned about what was happening at home last year. dhs & cps were involved for a little bit, but they left once my dad got enrolled into his anger management classes. I wish dhs & cps could've at least stayed knowing that my dad has returned back into abusing my mom and I. Recently my dad has abused my mom by making her do things she doesn't want to do, he threatens to kill her, sometimes hitting her later leaving bruises, and when I tell her to leave my dad since I know she needs to so she can be safe and comfortable, she will not listen to me and always tells me that "things will get better". I don't want to stay living here anymore. I'm tired of the constant abuse and verbal abuse. I've felt like running away but the one down side of that is just the fact that I don't want to return home if I do this. I have a safe place to stay that I was offered if I ever needed somewhere to stay if things got worse. I've kept on trying to get help from different lifelines and resources. All of them have suggested counseling for my family even though that has already been done before and nothing had changed. So I'm not sure if there would be anyway by chance if a worker from cps could be able to let me take my belongings and possibly drive me over to the place I was offered to stay by a close relative? or I don't really have that much of a problem walking although it would take around 2 hours. I just want to get out of here as soon as possible! I want permission from dhs or cps that I can stay there for a while. I wasn't quite sure if that would be a possible option but it's either that or my last resort which is running away. I'm tired of living here and would just really appreciate if there was any other way I could get help besides counseling or just in general anything that could help me at least get someone to come to my home and explain to my parents why I'm leaving without any problems in between. I don't want to be reported as a runaway nor do I want to just have everything continue going on here. If there is anyway that would be a possible option, please reply. thank you

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thanks for reaching out to us; you are definitely going through a log. You don't deserve the sort of mistreatment you are experiencing, and it's totally understandable that you would be upset and frustrated. It's great you are reaching out for support: it shows that you care about your life and your well being. We care too. We're here to help as best we can.

    One idea might be to file an abuse report on your mother's behavior toward you. You can do that through your state's child abuse reporting hotline, or through Child Help: www.childhelp.org, 1-800-422-4453. Filing a report doesn't automatically remove you from the home, but it probably will lead to an investigation and child protective services will determine what the next best steps are for you and your family. We never tell anyone what to do, but this is at least one option for you. We honor whatever you decide.

    Another option would be to ask permission from your mom to live elsewhere. This would avoid the potential legal consequences of running away. Of course, if you decide to run your mom has the right to file a runaway report on you. Anyone you stay with can be accused of harboring a runaway. But again, we work with you whatever you decide.

    As for your mental health and how to stay safe in the meantime (if you decide to wait till you are 18 to leave): it's great to get as much support as you can. It's important that you can confide in others that you feel safe with. That can be friends, but also relatives, teachers, counselors, religious figures, or whoever you feel can lend support. Just talking through things and expressing yourself to someone that genuinely listens can be a healthy coping strategy. Journaling can also be helpful. Even though things are rough in some important parts of your life, don't neglect the parts you can control and that you can enjoy. Keeping up hobbies and friendships is important. You still are so young and can have a bright future ahead of you. It's just getting through this difficult time. But you can do it.

    We are especially concerned when you mention that you previously attempted suicide. If you have suicidal thoughts it's extremely important to reach out for help. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a great resource and they are open 24/7 at 1-800-273-8255. There are a couple other great organizations that might be helpful to you:

    The Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration: www.samhsa.gov; 1-877-726-4727
    The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): www.nami.org; 1-800-950-6264 or text "NAMI" to 741741
    Al-Anon: www.al-anon.org

    Any of the above numbers are staffed by people that you can talk to about your situation. Of course, we are also here for you at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are open 24/7 and are confidential and never tell you what to do. We can, however, listen and work with you to help you figure out what your best options are. You can also chat with us via the portal at www.1800runaway.org. Keep in mind that we have a large database of resources that we can possibly connect you with: counselors, legal aid, shelters, and the like. Really, you do not have to face this alone. There is lots of support out there, even if they aren't immediately obvious.

    We hope to hear from you soon. Please be safe. Good luck to you and your little sister.

    Best,
    NRS
    Last edited by ccsmod15; 03-29-2020, 11:26 AM.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I lived with my biological father for most my life until him and my stepmom became emotionally and mentally abusive. In 2017 I tried to commit suicide and I was extremely depressed to the point of not really remembering most of that year and I now have an eating disorder. After the whole ordeal I got my phone taken and my dad took my clothes my door most of my stuff and wouldn’t leave me alone to change. It got bad and I finally convinced him to let me live with my mom who had just moved back to my state cause my stepdads navy. The first year was okay, I had some problems with her and little things but it wasn’t bad. Around last summer though I noticed that she was off. She even admitted to me she had an alcohol problem but I ignored it. But since then these past few months have been awful. She’s constantly screaming and blaming everyone for her depression and weight gain. She finds any moment she can to belittle my stepdad and scream at him. She doesn’t work and has some medical problems but Blair’s then on us when it’s out of our control. Then in the past few weeks she quit smoking and picked up drinking again. She’s become emotionally and mentally abusive to the point that it feels like living with my dad again. She says everyone is a narcissist or manipulative and that everyone is bad. She even has tried to black mail me into breaking up with my boyfriend and putting ideas into my head of how awful he is when he’s one of the only people who support me. She’ll buy me things after she’s mean and screams and try’s to make up for it. We are at my grandparents for the virus and we can’t leave and she has taken every chance to yell at me and blame me for things that I didn’t do or wasn’t around for that my siblings did. She said that I’m being abusive to my sister because I get frustrated but in reality she’s 9 and won’t leave me alone and I got stern and said stop and leave me alone. Every thing I do and or say she twists and tells other people different. My stepdad finally listened when my sister and I said we need help. My 13 year old sister called his mom and cried and told her how bad it is but now he thinks her and I are being awful and won’t come and get us. My mom ruins any chance we have to be happy and makes it seem like we have to earn it and anything. I know I’ve rambled but I’m at the end of my rope. I can’t drive yet, I’m 17 but the states shut down dmvs so I can’t get my permit and everyone else I could have get me is five hours away. At this point I onow it’s not worth getting emancipated because I’ll be 18 in January but I’m struggling to see if I can last till I graduate. Other events I haven’t discussed have made it really hard and I don’t trust my father or my mother now and I don’t have anywhere else to go. Please help me I need some advice

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod16
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,
    Thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. We are sorry that you are going through this; you are very brave for reaching out for help.

    It sounds like you are getting verbally abused and other things are happening to you and that you would like to leave and get to someplace safe. If you are being hurt, you can call the police in the moment, but going to them to have them take you someplace probably won’t work.

    What you can do is, with a cell phone, reach out to www.nationalsafeplace.org Their TXT 4 Help option is that you text the word Safe to 44357 and they will tell you the closest safe place. Then you contact them again from that location.

    The best way for us to help you is if we can talk to you directly to help you discover all of your options. If you’d like to talk further about this, you can reach us either by phone at our hotline, 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-RUNAWAY) or live chat via www.1800runaway.org We are here 24/7 to listen and help.

    Sincerely,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi I’m 17 and I get Verbally abused and many others but I rather not say if I was to leave and tell the police what’s really going on can they take me from where I’m at this place is a clean apartment I will have a job still be going to school and etc but everything at home brings me down will the police have the right to bring me back home or will I have to fight the case

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod16
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello!

    Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. You do not deserve to be treated that way. It is really brave of you to write to us. Child Help is a great organization that can help you with the way your mom has been treating you. They can offer you options and answer any questions you may have. Their number is 1800-422-4453. They also have a live chat at www.childhelp.org.

    You mention that your parents do not take your depression seriously. That is not okay. What you are dealing with is real. NAMI is a wonderful resource regarding mental health. You can call them at 1800-950-NAMI or text NAMI to 741741. They can provide great support for you and answer questions you may have about what you are going through. You can also reach back out to us via our hotline at 1800-786-2929 or our live chat at www.1800runaway.org. We can provide resources or a listening ear. Our services are 24/7 and confidential.

    Stay safe!
    National Runaway Safeline

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My parents are verbally and emotionally abusive towards me and my mother gets drunk quite often. and i dont know what to do anymore,i have severe depression that my parents dont take seriously. im 14 years old and i cant move out legally, what should i do?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello There,
    Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It seems like you are going through a really difficult time right now.
    Depression can be hard to deal with alone, and you do not have to deal with that alone. One resource that can be helpful to you is called NAMI (national alliance for mental illnesses). They can be reached at 1800-950-NAMI, they may be able to provide referrals to therapists. Another option may be to speak with your school counselor about what has been going on.
    We are not legal experts but if you were to leave home without permission your legal guardian could file a runaway report. If the police were to find you they most likely would bring you back home. One option to consider is seeing if any of your friends or family members would allow you to stay with them until you have money saved.
    We hope that this information will help you with your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support.
    NRS
Previously entered content was automatically saved. Restore or Discard.
Auto-Saved
x
Insert: Thumbnail Small Medium Large Fullsize Remove  
x
x
Working...
X