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17, Being abused and want to move out.

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  • #31
    I'm 14, and I was wondering if I could get any help on a situation that I’ve been dealing with for a while. My dad has been abusing my mom and I these last few years. I didn’t speak up about until my friend pushed me to since he was very concerned about what was happening at home last year. dhs & cps were involved for a little bit, but they left once my dad got enrolled into his anger management classes. I wish dhs & cps could've at least stayed knowing that my dad has returned back into abusing my mom and I. Recently my dad has abused my mom by making her do things she doesn't want to do, he threatens to kill her, sometimes hitting her later leaving bruises, and when I tell her to leave my dad since I know she needs to so she can be safe and comfortable, she will not listen to me and always tells me that "things will get better". I don't want to stay living here anymore. I'm tired of the constant abuse and verbal abuse. I've felt like running away but the one down side of that is just the fact that I don't want to return home if I do this. I have a safe place to stay that I was offered if I ever needed somewhere to stay if things got worse. I've kept on trying to get help from different lifelines and resources. All of them have suggested counseling for my family even though that has already been done before and nothing had changed. So I'm not sure if there would be anyway by chance if a worker from cps could be able to let me take my belongings and possibly drive me over to the place I was offered to stay by a close relative? or I don't really have that much of a problem walking although it would take around 2 hours. I just want to get out of here as soon as possible! I want permission from dhs or cps that I can stay there for a while. I wasn't quite sure if that would be a possible option but it's either that or my last resort which is running away. I'm tired of living here and would just really appreciate if there was any other way I could get help besides counseling or just in general anything that could help me at least get someone to come to my home and explain to my parents why I'm leaving without any problems in between. I don't want to be reported as a runaway nor do I want to just have everything continue going on here. If there is anyway that would be a possible option, please reply. thank you

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,
      Thanks for reaching out to NRS, it seems like you have been through a lot because of your dad and are feeling understandably tired of the situation. It seems like you’ve taken steps before talking with CPS and DHS before but they didn’t take effective enough steps. It seems like your mom is also unwilling to leave just yet despite how she is also being treated which seems like it could be really frustrating. Your father should never threaten to kill your mom like that, and it makes sense to feel unsafe in that environment. You do have a few options yet.
      1) Getting permission from your parents to stay with your grandparents for a while. If you have permission to stay there for a while and let things cool down and relax for a bit. That might help you to put things in perspective and come up with a long-term plan.
      2) Finding more support for you and your mom. It seems like if you could, you would be ok with staying with your mom if your dad wasn’t involved. There are hotlines specific to domestic violence you, and your mom could reach out to for more help. The National Domestic Violence Hotline can be reached at 1-800-799-7233 or online at thehotline.org.
      3) Going through CPS/DHS again. It seems like the first time they tried a less intense reaction to the situation but if that hasn’t worked they might be more willing to get you out of an unsafe situation like that. You can check out childhelp.org or call 1-800-422-4453 to reach the Child Abuse Hotline. There is a possiblilty they would send you to a family member that is more safe than your current home. Although your other family may have to become a foster parent to you or adopt you for it to be a long term solution.
      4) If your mom is threatened or hit again and you are afraid for her, or your own well-being you can also call the police and have them come in to diffuse the situation. They may help to get you to a safer place while things cool down between your parents if that were to happen as well.
      Hopefully those options help. If you did get to the point you felt like running is your only option and a runaway report was filed then it is a Status Offence. This means police wouldn’t arrest you, and its not a crime to have left the home. So police would only bring you back home. They are also supposed to listen to you if you have a claim of child abuse before they force you back home.
      If you have more questions or just need someone to talk with please call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or use our online chat at 1800runaway.org.

  • #32
    I’m 16 will be 17 in September. I am emotionally abused by my parents, they make me feel worthless telling me how I ********ed up and never leave me alone about making small jokes and picking at me about the mistakes I’ve made. I don’t feel safe living at home as it will only get worse in my depression and anxiety as I can barely look at myself in a mirror and I feel like leaving the world. I want to leave home and live with a friend or my grandma, and I was wondering what to do because I’ve debated going back and fourth between leaving the world or leaving home. Either way it is a risk but everyday I try to get by and everyday I just feel worse and worse and I need help.

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for taking the time to reach out to us here at NRS and we appreciate you sharing a bit about your situation. We understand it can take a lot of courage to contact someone for help and to open up about how you are feeling. This was an excellent first step to getting any support you may need. Home is supposed to be somewhere you feel safe and supported. It is not okay for your parents to be failing at this or to talk down to you. Their words and actions are not a reflection of your worth as a human being. You deserve to be treated with respect and to feel cared for by the people around you.

      It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 (www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org) is always available if you need someone to talk to about how you have been feeling. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of.

      A helpful start could be reaching out to the people you mentioned as well as other trusted people in your life for support. Your safety is very important and it is understandable to be feeling like leaving home might be the best option for you right now. Perhaps your friend, grandma, or another trusted adult can offer you a safe place to stay.

      Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

      Stay safe,
      NRS
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