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17, Being abused and want to move out.

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  • #16
    I’m 17 and I’m being I was being abused I ran away one yr ago what can I do

    Comment


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you were unsafe and home and ran away awhile ago. Abuse is never okay and you deserve to be treated with respect. Here at NRS, we truly want to be a support for you during this time.

      From what you have said, it's hard to know what your options are and what your current situation is. If you need to get to a safe place, please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you need help locating the nearest runaway and homeless youth shelter. You might also text the National Safe Place to find the nearest safe place. "Text the word “safe” and your current location (address, city, state) to 4HELP (44357). Within seconds, you will receive a message with the closest Safe Place site and phone number for the local youth agency. For immediate help, reply with “2chat” to text interactively with a trained counselor." www.nationalsafeplace.org. If you are in immediate danger please call 911.

      Also if you call or chat us we can confidentially talk through your options with you, so you are more informed and you can make the best decision for you. If you ran away from a safe place, and are now in an unsafe place we might be able to help you get back home. If you are currently at home and it is unsafe we can help you file an abuse report for you or make a safety plan.

      Please know that you are not alone, and we look forward to hearing from you. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org.

      Be safe,

      NRS
      Last edited by ccsmod7; 01-27-2019, 04:01 PM.

  • #17
    Hi I’ve never used this site before but I am trying to figure out how I am able to leave my house without having the cops called. My mom gets physical and very violent when she’s mad. She throws things and hits me often, and calls names and says very hurtful things. I don’t want to get into detail but I have a place to stay I want to move out. I am 17 and will be 18 in 6 months. She has told me to pack my bags and to leave because she doesn’t want me here. My fear is that once I do that she will change her mind after I’ve already moved out or when I’m trying to move out and call the cops. After she has told me to leave several times and given me permission. What should I do if she calls the cops and they try to bring me back home?

    Comment


    • #18
      Reply: Hi I’ve never used this site before..


      Hello,

      You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).
      you don't deserve to be abused in any way. It is not your fault that this has been happening.

      If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

      Should your mother put you out of the home you can make a report to the police and provide them with information about your well -being. In some situations with a youth being so close to turning 18 the police may decide not to force you to return home if a wellness check satisfies the officer that you are indeed safe. Take note that the police are also mandated reports and could also decide to contact child protective services. If you would like to talk more about your situation we are here to listen and here to help. You may contact NRS at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800runaway.org (Live chat).

      Please be safe.
      NRS

      We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • #19
        I am 12 i hate my life my family awalys hits me and and tells me off they are all against me sometimes i just go to ny corner cause i dont have a bed and i just cry and my parents buys my brother thats 17 a iphone and my sister and even my little sister have good stuff and they wear so much good clothes and i have to wear the same stuff everyday and i have a ********ty phone i found one day it a ********en free phone and i just wanna die or move out and get a job someone please come help me im just gonna end up killing myslef

        Comment


        • ccsmod3
          ccsmod3 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,
          Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline and sharing a little bit about what is going. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and especially in a time where you have a really tough and complex situation at home. We are sorry you are experiencing abuse, no one ever deserves to go through that. You do have the right to report the abuse to Child Help at 1-800-422-4453. You can either do it yourself or call into us directly and we can support you through it. It is hard to say the result of reporting, but if you call in you can ask what the process might look like.

          Also another way you can seek help is reaching out to a friend, teacher, or counselor at school that can help you look for resources. Your mental health is important. You can also look at SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) at samhsa.gov (call them directly at 1-877-726-4727) or NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness 1-800-950-NAMI to help you find the support that you need. If you do ever feel in direct danger, to yourself, or some else makes you feel that way, please call out to 911 or reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255).

          It can be difficult to know how to talk to your parents and express your feelings about how you are feeling. We would encourage you to reach out to a trusted adult, teacher, relative, and friend that you can talk to and potentially help you mediate a conversation with your parents about your current situation. At NRS, we do offer a service call conference calling, where you can call into our hotline and then we would reach out to your guardian and help advocate for you, help you express the needs you have to your parents.
          We are here for you and will support you in anyway that we can. Please feel free to call into us directly as we can talk further about your situation and find resources that are best for you in your area. Stay strong and you are not alone in this! Our hotline ( 1-800-RUNAWAY) and chat are open 24/7.

          We hope this response was helpful! We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey.

          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

          -NRS

      • #20
        hi im 17 yrs old .. & cant wait till couple months for my birthday (6mo.) but basically my mom && i got in an argument && in result she physically put her hands on me .. punching me in my face while i was LAYING DOWNN && threatened me with a weapon “crowbar” & my “makeup mirror” i just dont feel safe anymore or wanted there. but i have somewhere else to lay my head , && continue to finish school some how. && she keep saying she gone call police on me as a run away but who would really wnt to stay w someone that could ever try pull a crowbar out on their DAUGHTER. would u feel safe? would u want to be there? could i still try leave , what do i need to do because i cant go no grouphome , nor jail .. and staying w her aint it.

        Comment


        • ccsmod2
          ccsmod2 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello There,
          Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a tough time. You do not deserved to be threatened and physically hurt, any type of abuse is unacceptable. You can make an abuse report by calling The Child Help Hotline at: 1800-422-4453. If you would like our help with making an abuse report you can call us at any time and we would be more than happy to help. If you ever feel like you are in immediate danger please call 911 ASAP.
          We are not legal experts but we do have general knowledge of the laws. In most states the legal age to leave home without permission is 18 years old. Because you are a minor if you were to leave home without permission you could be filed as a runaway. Running away is not a criminal offense it is a status offense. What that means is that if the police found you they would most likely bring you back home. You mentioned abuse if the police knew about this they may not take you home and let you stay somewhere else that is safe instead. Sometimes the police may not take a runaway report for someone who is 17 but it depends on the police department. You could always call your local non-emergency police department and ask them how they handle a runaway situation in your area. If ou call us we can help you look for shelters or explore your options for places to stay.
          We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore your options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and provide support. We wish you the best of luck!
          NRS

      • #21
        Hi, I'm 12 years old and I'm not 100% sure this could be considered abuse but anyway. My dad is 24/7 telling that I'm a whore, slut, **********, and that I'm a huge embarrassment/disappointment to my family. Also threatening to hit me with a belt, etc. Both of my parents tell me my anxiety and depression is fake even though I was clinically diagnosed and when my dad founded out that I had been cutting my wrists he told me to cut deeper. I've talked to social services they refuse to help me and I have nowhere else to go and Kentucky will not allow emancipation please help me. thanks

        Comment


        • ccsmod16
          ccsmod16 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello -

          Thank you so much for reaching out for help. What you described sounds like really painful emotional and verbal abuse, as well as threats of physical abuse. No one deserves to have their mental health problems dismissed, you deserve people in your life who prioritize your safety and emotional well-being.

          When you say you reached out to social services, do you mean that you have filed an abuse report with Child Protective Services? If not, that might still be an option, if you would like to open an investigation into your parents’ behavior. Whatever social services agency you contacted, we are so sorry they weren’t more helpful. But it shows your strength and ability to advocate for yourself, that you were able to take that step.

          Your safety and well-being is the most important thing, and there are people who care if you are okay, even if it doesn’t always feel that way. If you would like to speak to someone about your self-harm urges, you could call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. They don’t only work with people who are suicidal, and they can talk to you about what you are feeling, and finding ways to cope with those feelings. If you are more comfortable texting instead, you can contact the Crisis Text Line, by texting HOME to 741741, in order to talk to a trained counselor over text. And finally, you can find other resources about coping with emotional turmoil and self-harm at the website Self-Injury Outreach & Support: http://sioutreach.org/

          It sounds like you’ve already done research about emancipation, and do not think it is an option. We are not lawyers, but from what we’ve seen, while Kentucky does not have any laws specifying the emancipation procedure, it can still be possible in certain situations. Unfortunately, it is definitely true that emancipation is almost always a complicated process that takes a long time, and typically requires the youth to have their own source of employment, housing, and transportation. You can always call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, to discuss what options are available. We could refer you to legal services regarding emancipation (we would need to know what area of Kentucky you live in), and we can also provide emotional support and resources that you might need right now.

          You seem like a resilient and resourceful person, in a really painful and scary situation. We are here 24/7, if you ever need someone to listen.

          We look forward to hearing from you,
          NRS

      • #22
        Hi I’m 14,and mainly the woman who has custody of me and her husband I feel emotionally abuse me they talk about my flaws I told her I wanted to be a model she said I can’t be one because I have to much acne they belittle me with there words they don’t physically abuse me but my big sister reached out to a teacher for advice and the teacher called child protective services but they were no help I feel if I continue to live here I will not make it till I’m 18(that’s when I can legally move out)but I feel like I won’t make it to 18 because they make me wanna kill myself.idk what else to do if I run away I have places to go but I don’t want the adults to get in trouble for letting me stay there do u have any advice?

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you for reaching out to us. We are glad that you did. It sounds like things are really hard at home with being belittled and emotionally abused. You don’t deserve to be treated this way by the woman and her husband. We are glad that your sister is supportive and sought help from her teacher, and sorry that CPS was no help.
          We are here to listen and to help you. You matter to us and your life matters and we would really like to help you talk over your options. It sounds like you have family or friends who are supportive of you and we are glad about that. We would really like to speak with you to talk over your situation and to help you identify your options.
          All of our services are confidential and you can reach out either through our telephone hotline at 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-RUNAWAY) or with live chat through 1800runawy.org We are here for you 24/7 to listen and help.
          We hope to hear from you soon.
          Sincerely,
          NRS

      • #23
        Hi,
        I’m a parent I live in LA California and my daughter lives in Vegas with her mom my daughter she’s 17 years and she is getting abused by her mom she gets hits for no reason and she wants to move with me to California. How can I bring her to live with me?
        Last edited by ccsmod4; 10-04-2019, 12:14 AM.

        Comment


        • #24
          Hi I’m a parent I live in L.A.

          Hello,
          Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

          We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you might want to consider speaking with a lawyer since this involves custody. You stated your daughter is being abused by mom. You or she can also file an abuse report with child services in her home state.
          She does not deserve to get abused. We understand how difficult this must be for you and her. To file an abuse report contact Child help 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org

          We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

          Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
          If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.
          We hope to hear from you soon.

          Take care,
          NRS

          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

          National Runaway Safeline
          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

          Tell us what you think about your experience!
          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

          Comment


          • #25
            I'm 15 and my parents emotionally and verbally abuse me. My dad has major anger problems and he hit me one time and has told me to go die. I am depressed because of them and I think I have anxiety too. I do not want to live here anymore is there any way I could stay at my friend house without getting anyone in trouble.

            Comment


            • ccsmod15
              ccsmod15 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hello,
              Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline.
              We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. The way your dad is treating you is definitely not okay. You deserve to feel safe and cared for. We have some resources that you might find beneficial to you. In regards to the way your dad is speaking to you and hitting you, you could reach out to Child Help. They can provide support and answer any questions you may have regarding the way he is treating you. We understand that this is hard for you. You can also report abuse there. Their number is 1800-422-4453.

              You mention that you are depressed and may have anxiety. We are sorry that you have been dealing with that. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone. If you feel comfortable you can reach out to NAMI. They can provide support for you and perhaps find some local resources for you regarding your mental health. You can contact them at 1800-950-NAMI or you can text NAMI to 741741.
              Since you are 15 you are still considered a minor. This means that your parents are legally responsible for you. In order for you to stay at your friend's house legally you would need to get your parent's permission. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

              Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
              If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.
              We hope to hear from you soon.

              Take care,
              NRS

          • #26
            I have a abusive dad and younger sister.I want to move out but I’m only 14 years old.Is there a way to move out at a young age?

            Comment


            • ccsmod13
              ccsmod13 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hi there,

              Thanks for reaching out to NRS. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help and share a little bit about what has been going on. You mentioned that you want to leave because your dad and younger sister are abusive. You deserve to live somewhere you feel safe and supported. The easiest way to leave home without permission, is with your dad's permission. Perhaps there is a family member or a friend you could talk to for support and see if they would be willing to talk to your dad with you about your concerns at home. Having an adult advocate can help prevent conversations from escalating to yelling and make sure your voice is being heard. Additionally, the National Child Abuse Hotline can be a source of support for you as well during this challenging time. You can contact them at 800-422-4453 or go to www.childhelphotline.org.

              We are here to help and listen 24/7 if you would like to talk more in detail about your situation and brainstorm some options together. You can reach us at 1-800-786-2929 or use our online chat services at 1800runaway.org.

              Be safe,
              NRS

          • #27
            I am 17. 4 more months I will be graduate but I can't wait to move out ! I feel depression in my family, by the way they treat me and I seriously got thread of kick out of the home ! I don't have enough money to be out yet ! Do I really have to wait until I am 18 or have enough money ? How can I keep hold on in this situation ?

            Comment


            • ccsmod2
              ccsmod2 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hello There,
              Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It seems like you are going through a really difficult time right now.
              Depression can be hard to deal with alone, and you do not have to deal with that alone. One resource that can be helpful to you is called NAMI (national alliance for mental illnesses). They can be reached at 1800-950-NAMI, they may be able to provide referrals to therapists. Another option may be to speak with your school counselor about what has been going on.
              We are not legal experts but if you were to leave home without permission your legal guardian could file a runaway report. If the police were to find you they most likely would bring you back home. One option to consider is seeing if any of your friends or family members would allow you to stay with them until you have money saved.
              We hope that this information will help you with your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support.
              NRS

          • #28
            My parents are verbally and emotionally abusive towards me and my mother gets drunk quite often. and i dont know what to do anymore,i have severe depression that my parents dont take seriously. im 14 years old and i cant move out legally, what should i do?

            Comment


            • ccsmod16
              ccsmod16 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hello!

              Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. You do not deserve to be treated that way. It is really brave of you to write to us. Child Help is a great organization that can help you with the way your mom has been treating you. They can offer you options and answer any questions you may have. Their number is 1800-422-4453. They also have a live chat at www.childhelp.org.

              You mention that your parents do not take your depression seriously. That is not okay. What you are dealing with is real. NAMI is a wonderful resource regarding mental health. You can call them at 1800-950-NAMI or text NAMI to 741741. They can provide great support for you and answer questions you may have about what you are going through. You can also reach back out to us via our hotline at 1800-786-2929 or our live chat at www.1800runaway.org. We can provide resources or a listening ear. Our services are 24/7 and confidential.

              Stay safe!
              National Runaway Safeline

          • #29
            Hi I’m 17 and I get Verbally abused and many others but I rather not say if I was to leave and tell the police what’s really going on can they take me from where I’m at this place is a clean apartment I will have a job still be going to school and etc but everything at home brings me down will the police have the right to bring me back home or will I have to fight the case

            Comment


            • ccsmod16
              ccsmod16 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hi,
              Thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. We are sorry that you are going through this; you are very brave for reaching out for help.

              It sounds like you are getting verbally abused and other things are happening to you and that you would like to leave and get to someplace safe. If you are being hurt, you can call the police in the moment, but going to them to have them take you someplace probably won’t work.

              What you can do is, with a cell phone, reach out to www.nationalsafeplace.org Their TXT 4 Help option is that you text the word Safe to 44357 and they will tell you the closest safe place. Then you contact them again from that location.

              The best way for us to help you is if we can talk to you directly to help you discover all of your options. If you’d like to talk further about this, you can reach us either by phone at our hotline, 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-RUNAWAY) or live chat via www.1800runaway.org We are here 24/7 to listen and help.

              Sincerely,
              NRS

          • #30
            I lived with my biological father for most my life until him and my stepmom became emotionally and mentally abusive. In 2017 I tried to commit suicide and I was extremely depressed to the point of not really remembering most of that year and I now have an eating disorder. After the whole ordeal I got my phone taken and my dad took my clothes my door most of my stuff and wouldn’t leave me alone to change. It got bad and I finally convinced him to let me live with my mom who had just moved back to my state cause my stepdads navy. The first year was okay, I had some problems with her and little things but it wasn’t bad. Around last summer though I noticed that she was off. She even admitted to me she had an alcohol problem but I ignored it. But since then these past few months have been awful. She’s constantly screaming and blaming everyone for her depression and weight gain. She finds any moment she can to belittle my stepdad and scream at him. She doesn’t work and has some medical problems but Blair’s then on us when it’s out of our control. Then in the past few weeks she quit smoking and picked up drinking again. She’s become emotionally and mentally abusive to the point that it feels like living with my dad again. She says everyone is a narcissist or manipulative and that everyone is bad. She even has tried to black mail me into breaking up with my boyfriend and putting ideas into my head of how awful he is when he’s one of the only people who support me. She’ll buy me things after she’s mean and screams and try’s to make up for it. We are at my grandparents for the virus and we can’t leave and she has taken every chance to yell at me and blame me for things that I didn’t do or wasn’t around for that my siblings did. She said that I’m being abusive to my sister because I get frustrated but in reality she’s 9 and won’t leave me alone and I got stern and said stop and leave me alone. Every thing I do and or say she twists and tells other people different. My stepdad finally listened when my sister and I said we need help. My 13 year old sister called his mom and cried and told her how bad it is but now he thinks her and I are being awful and won’t come and get us. My mom ruins any chance we have to be happy and makes it seem like we have to earn it and anything. I know I’ve rambled but I’m at the end of my rope. I can’t drive yet, I’m 17 but the states shut down dmvs so I can’t get my permit and everyone else I could have get me is five hours away. At this point I onow it’s not worth getting emancipated because I’ll be 18 in January but I’m struggling to see if I can last till I graduate. Other events I haven’t discussed have made it really hard and I don’t trust my father or my mother now and I don’t have anywhere else to go. Please help me I need some advice

            Comment


            • ccsmod15
              ccsmod15 commented
              Editing a comment
              Thanks for reaching out to us; you are definitely going through a log. You don't deserve the sort of mistreatment you are experiencing, and it's totally understandable that you would be upset and frustrated. It's great you are reaching out for support: it shows that you care about your life and your well being. We care too. We're here to help as best we can.

              One idea might be to file an abuse report on your mother's behavior toward you. You can do that through your state's child abuse reporting hotline, or through Child Help: www.childhelp.org, 1-800-422-4453. Filing a report doesn't automatically remove you from the home, but it probably will lead to an investigation and child protective services will determine what the next best steps are for you and your family. We never tell anyone what to do, but this is at least one option for you. We honor whatever you decide.

              Another option would be to ask permission from your mom to live elsewhere. This would avoid the potential legal consequences of running away. Of course, if you decide to run your mom has the right to file a runaway report on you. Anyone you stay with can be accused of harboring a runaway. But again, we work with you whatever you decide.

              As for your mental health and how to stay safe in the meantime (if you decide to wait till you are 18 to leave): it's great to get as much support as you can. It's important that you can confide in others that you feel safe with. That can be friends, but also relatives, teachers, counselors, religious figures, or whoever you feel can lend support. Just talking through things and expressing yourself to someone that genuinely listens can be a healthy coping strategy. Journaling can also be helpful. Even though things are rough in some important parts of your life, don't neglect the parts you can control and that you can enjoy. Keeping up hobbies and friendships is important. You still are so young and can have a bright future ahead of you. It's just getting through this difficult time. But you can do it.

              We are especially concerned when you mention that you previously attempted suicide. If you have suicidal thoughts it's extremely important to reach out for help. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a great resource and they are open 24/7 at 1-800-273-8255. There are a couple other great organizations that might be helpful to you:

              The Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration: www.samhsa.gov; 1-877-726-4727
              The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): www.nami.org; 1-800-950-6264 or text "NAMI" to 741741
              Al-Anon: www.al-anon.org

              Any of the above numbers are staffed by people that you can talk to about your situation. Of course, we are also here for you at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are open 24/7 and are confidential and never tell you what to do. We can, however, listen and work with you to help you figure out what your best options are. You can also chat with us via the portal at www.1800runaway.org. Keep in mind that we have a large database of resources that we can possibly connect you with: counselors, legal aid, shelters, and the like. Really, you do not have to face this alone. There is lots of support out there, even if they aren't immediately obvious.

              We hope to hear from you soon. Please be safe. Good luck to you and your little sister.

              Best,
              NRS
              Last edited by ccsmod15; 03-29-2020, 11:26 AM.
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