Need to leave home before applying to my dream college

[Guest]

I’m an 18 year old girl from Connecticut. I have very good grades and am a very good kid that avoids trouble. I suffer with major depression disorder and anxiety and have had a recent hospitalization due to a suicide attempt back in November. My family were trying to be supportive but really don’t understand and stress me out. I am looking at two colleges currently, one in state and one in New York. I’ve been accepted to the in state school and am waiting on the out of state school which is the one I prefer. I am paying 100% on my own for my school. My parents want me to go to the in state school and are pretty much telling me I have no other choice but there. They are very strict people, I have no freedom or independence and haven’t been properly exposed to the real world because they don’t allow me freedom in doing simple things like folding clothes or cleaning. I have no social life because of them not allowing me to. They say they do it because they love me but I want nothing to do with them anymore (as harsh or unreasonable that sounds). I am very stressed right now to a point that my hair is literally falling out. I need to leave my house, but want to avoid legal complications and don’t know how to bring it up to them. I wouldn’t wanna just leave, I would want them to know I plan on it. I have a living place situated already with a friend that would allow me to stay at my current school and keep my job. I’m afraid and scared and confused and don’t know what to do. I’ve been told that if I go to my dream college there would be a rift between me and my mom and I know if they make me go somewhere else I’m making a rift between me and them. My hard work with my grades should be paid off by allowing me to pick my school and the only way I see myself being able to is if I leave.

[ccsmod15]

Hello there,

Thank you for reaching out to NRS and having the strength to share your story with us. We are sorry to hear about your situation and what you’ve been dealing with. Ideally, home would be a place where people feel safe, loved, and valued, and you do not deserve to be treated that way. You’ve been very strong in forging your own path for yourself, as well as considerate in taking note of others’ feelings.

We would like you to know that you do not owe it to your parents to go to your in-state school, especially in light of the stress and suffering they can cause you. As for any “legal complications” upon your leaving, as an adult you have the right to your things. If necessary, the police could escort you to your home and get your things, if it comes to that. Your local police’s non-emergency number is available on usacops.com.

It is understandable that you’re having issues with how to bring it up to them. It could be hard to do, but setting a time with them to have a serious conversation, when they’re most likely to be relaxed, could help. Additionally, if there is someone who supports you who is willing to accompany you, that could be another option.

We are sorry to hear that you are coping with depression and other mental health issues. If you were interested in professional mental health services and haven’t accessed them already, a good resource could be the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) at 1-877-726-4727 and online at samhsa.gov. Additionally, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) is a resource with support groups among other services, at 1-800-950-NAMI and online at nami.org.

We would love to talk more about the details of your situation so that we can work towards a solution that you find acceptable. If you would like to share more, please feel free to call our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or use our Live Chat.
We hope this information was helpful and take care.
National Runaway Safeline
[email protected] (Crisis Email)
1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)