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BPD mother and unaccepting family.

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  • BPD mother and unaccepting family.

    Hey there,
    My name is Apollo. Im a sixteen year old trans guy, and my living situation is pretty rough.
    My mother has BPD, Depression, and Anxiety. Not only that, but my mother has extreme manic periods. There are times where I feel threatened by my mother and my father. When they fight it can be extremely physical. A few nights ago, my mother hit me and pushed my down during her manic phase. I strangled her and pinned her down (remind you she was out on the street screaming and fighting), and i pulled her back inside. My dad was inside the house during this entire throw-down (as he usually is). Whenever he tries to calm her down, he loses his cool and makes the situation even worse. This makes me become my mothers crutch and therapist. I have been living like this for the past five years of my life. This constant fear and fighting has led me down a path of extreme depression and anxiety, causing me to attempt suicide a few times.
    I'm truly sick of living like this, not being able to be a normal kid, and instead having to be my mothers crutch, and her therapist at the same time. I am more the parent rather than the child, and it is straining my happiness and my mental sanity.
    My mothers friend offered me a place to stay, saying that i could come and live with her for a couple of months, or however long i needed. Of course, i am extremely unsure of this, because I don't know how my parents will react. I want to be in a place where I feel happy and safe to share my passions and do things that I enjoy. My mothers friend is also very accepting and wants to support me through my transition.
    My parents are always telling me that they are going to get better and that they want to be able to be here for me, but I feel like that is highly unlikely considering how long this has been going on, and how childish my mother is.
    Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.
    Thank you.

  • #2
    Hi Apollo,
    Thank you for contacting us her at the National Runaway Safeline. We’re sorry to hear that you are experiencing such a difficult situation at home. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help; please know that you are very brave and strong to do so. We also hope you know that you don’t deserve to be treated in this way. Everyone deserves to feels safe and cared for in their own home.
    It sounds like you are very aware of your mother’s issues, and you’re right, that you should not have to be her counselor. What you are experiencing could be considered abuse. You may want to consider reporting this to the police or having a trusted adult help you do so. This could be either your mom’s friend, a school counselor or teacher, or you could call us, and we could assist you in filing a report. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), and we are here 24 hours a day/7 days a week. You could also contact Child Help (National Child Abuse Hotline), and their number is 1-800-422-4453. Please remember that you can always call 911 if you feel you are not safe.
    Your mom’s mental health condition sounds very serious. If you want support or have questions you could call NAMI (National Alliance for Mental Health). Their number is 1-800-950-NAMI, or you can test NAMI to 741741.
    You must be going through a lot with your transition, and it seems that you would definitely want to have support through this process. It’s good to hear that your mom’s friend is there for you. If you need additional support or resources you could contact either the Trans Lifeline at 1-877-565-8860 or the LGBT National Youth Talkline at 1-800-246-7743. These groups are both staffed with well-trained and understanding volunteers who are willing to listen and help.
    You talk about staying with your mom’s friend. While you don’t say what state you live in but the age of majority in most states is 18. That’s when you can legally move out of your parents’ home without permission. Some states do have emancipation laws allowing youth to become independent of their parents. We could help you explore the legal process if you might want to pursue this. You may want to talk with you dad about allowing you to stay with her for a little while to give you and your mom some time apart.
    Again, please call us here at NRS; we are here to help in any way possible. We hope to hear from you soon.
    Take care,
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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