I'm so done... I need to move out

[Guest]

My mom has always been one of those stupid girls who fall for ********ty guys... When I was seven I was molested by her boyfriend at that time... More passed until around until I was in third grade. She got together with one of her childhood friends. He was okay. Nothing bad happened. I was happy. . The end of fourth grade we moved into a new, bigger place. Then he started drinking more and got abusive. He one time locked me in the basement as a "punishment" for about three days, throwing plates, moldy food, beer cans, etc. And it would've gone on longer if my mom hadn't finally told him to stop. I ran away to the grocery store with one of my younger sisters because he locked us in our little sister's room, with maggots and crap everywhere. And the younger ones were in my room.. .ruining a nice bed I got from our old neighbor. .. He treated those younger two like they were the most important thing ever ... And treated my other little sister like ******** occasionally . . Me, the oldest, was always abused when he was drunk... The fights he had with my mom were just normal arguments until he got physical.. .he started hitting her and she threw glass at walls and the floors... Time goes on, my grades drop from all A's to to F's after I got suspended for bringing weed brownies to school .. .. I started wanting to get on weed because it made me happy. .I was really suicidal 24/7 but I didn't want to die yet. My mom's abusive boyfriend got arrested several times but she let him back because "what's in the past, stays in the past". .. The stress got so bad I started getting severe acne and hormone acne because my stress was messing up my system ... I was bullied then and even a year later when I started wearing makeup.. (I'm going to skip past stuff to shorten this.. ) we ended up moving to where I live now... The week before school ... Him and my mom got into another fight.. It was only me and one of my youngest siblings.. .I pulled him off of her and he started strangling me until my mom pulled him off... Ever since he left I've become happier. Until I found out she's talking to him again .saying it's "in the past"... Like what the ******** ... He's not living with us again but I still want to move out just in case... We live in a two bedroom house. My sister's dad and his gf sleeps in the living room. My mom has her own room and I shared a room with kids 4-6 years younger than me. .it's not fair... I can't get any privacy and all I think about is od'ing . .CP's used to visit all the time. .I don't want to live with random people .I want to keep going to my school.. And seeing my friends. .. But the rest of my family I can't and don't want to live with.. I've always wanted CP's to send me to one of my friends house but I don't think that could happen because none of them has space and time for me .. .What do I do

[ccsmod10]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live into a home with so much tension. You’ve had to go through a lot and you’re a strong person for being so resilient. Leaving home is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. Absolutely no one deserves to be abused. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

You stated that one of your mom’s past boyfriends molested you when you were younger. Absolutely no one deserves to be sexually abused. If you’d like some additional support you can always con that RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) at 800-656-4693.

You said that you have previously had thoughts of suicide. We care a lot about your safety, and we can help you find resources that can help you cope with these feelings. You do not have to face this alone, and there is so much help out there for you. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Hotline could be a good resource for you. You can check them out at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/, or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

All the best,
NRS