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15 y/o planning run away with 17 y/o boyfriend

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  • 15 y/o planning run away with 17 y/o boyfriend

    Hello, I am 15 years old (16 in march) and in a bit of trouble. My boyfriend is currently 17, but he is 18 in february. He is mentally and physically ill, and since October (Halloween, to be exact) my parents have been trying to separate us. They have a lot of negative misconceptions about him, and I have tried to explain that he is not a bad person but rather, he has had an incredibly tough life, as his parents don't seem to truly care about him (though they did seem supportive of the relationship) on top of his illnesses. It has gotten to the point where my parents are becoming physical. There was an incident where my mother hit me several times and when I told her to stop, she refused because I was "being a p*ssy b*tch." There was another incident where my stepfather came to my room, belted me, destroyed many things in my room, and then hit me. My mother watched this happen and I had self harmed before this occurred so she noted the blood on my table and dresser, however, all she said was "what the f*ck is wrong with you." I have expressed that I am suicidal yet they think that I am blackmailing them. I had a therapist of sorts but they have taken me out of that. My father lives in Florida and it is possible for me to live there, however, it will apparently not protect my boyfriend from legal trouble. We have had a sexual relationship and as far as I can tell, that is the only thing that he could possibly go to jail for. They also want to get a restraining order on him so he cannot contact me. We do care about each other very much and had a loving relationship. My parents have made it clear that they, on the other hand, do not care about me. I believe that they just want to come out on top on this situation. I believe my only option is running away. So far I have packed clothing, some hygiene products, a brush, and I have a check for $400 that has yet to be cashed. I earned this money while working at a bakery over the summer, however, I am not sure how to cash it. My father wrote the check for me, as I was working in the same restaurant that he was. He managed the bar there. The bakery was an extension of the restaurant. I have a school ID, but I have read that that is practically useless in cashing the check. I will have no legal guardian or ID, but I am thinking that my boyfriend can cash it once he turns 18. I don't have a place to stay, but he may have some friends that will allow us to stay with them temporarily. I believe that he has some money, too, so that is useful. I would like to get a job, but being 15, I am not sure if I need consent from a guardian. My boyfriend is able to get one. I have several questions that need to be answered, so that is why I came here. Can I cash the check, can I get a job, etc. Me and my boyfriend live in Pennsylvania, if that helps. Thank you for listening.

  • #2
    Hi there thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you have been through a lot between life at home and your parents trying to separate you from your boyfriend. That's not okay at all that they have hit you and not believed you when you said you were suicidal. You deserve to be treated with respect and supported. Here at NRS, we truly want to be there for you.

    You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. You can also always call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY if you would like assistance calling out to your local abuse hotline.

    It sounds like have thought suicide recently. It takes a lot of strength to reach out for help, and we are so glad that you did. Your life has worth and our top priority is your safety. If you feel this is an emergency you could consider calling 911 for emergency assistance. We are here to listen and support you in any way that we can, and we can help you find resources that can help you cope with these feelings. You do not have to face this alone, and there is so much help out there for you. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Hotline could be a good resource for you. You can check them out at www.youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org, or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time. You can also call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you need to talk.

    You mentioned that you are also concerned about your boyfriend getting in legal trouble for having sex, that cannot be easy to deal with. Consent laws vary by state so on this link if you click on your state you can see the age of consent below: https://sexetc.org/action-center/sex-in-the-states/. Florida does have the consent age as 18.

    One thing to consider is that once your boyfriend turns 18 he will be a legal adult. While it is not illegal for you to run away (it is usually considered a status offense or something you cannot do due to your age); if you are found with your boyfriend, he could be charged with harboring a runaway by your parents. Harboring a runaway is a misdemeanor charge. So unfortunately, if you run away together, your boyfriend is the one at risk of getting into legal trouble.

    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org.

    Best,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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