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I can't do this anymore

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  • I can't do this anymore

    My mom and dad are separated and live in different states. Since I was three, I have traveled to my dad's house every summer and school vacation. I am in high school now and used to the traveling. The problem is, I have a lot more responsibilities. I am on two swim teams, making high honors, and have a lot more friends. All these things make my vacations a lot shorter. My dad is upset about this because it means I spend less time with him. He is convinced that my mom is forcing me to stay with her. He doesn't understand that I have responsibilities. He is always making fun of me and my home state. He says I will never leave it. He once told my mom that he was worried that I was a whore and would have a child before I graduate high school. My dad says I get all my ideas from my mom. If I say I want to spend one less week with him in the summer, he thinks it is because my mom told me to say that. Apparently I'm not smart enough to think for myself.
    My dad manipulates what I say too. He changes my words to make them sound like they are in his favor.
    On top of all this, I am depressed... and my dad doesn't believe me. He says I am too young and my life is too great. He doesn't want to ruin his "perfect" family. The longer I spend at his house, the more depressed I get. All my dad ever talks about is when I will move in with him. He makes me feel guilty for being with my mom.
    In order to spend more time with me, my dad is suing my mom. The court dates are set and they both have attorneys.
    I am tired of being manipulated. I am tired of them talking to each other through me. I am tired of having to deal with this and high school at the same time. I don't want to go to my dad's. I don't want to talk to my mom. I need to live with somebody else. I can't stay here anymore.

  • #2
    re: I can't do this anymore

    Hey there,

    Thank you for reaching out to us. You seem really overwhelmed and want things to change at home. It must be really stressful at home, since you feel that your dad is pretty manipulative about things you say. It can be tough to deal with parents who don't consider how you're feeling. Also, you mentioned that you are experiencing verbal abuse from your mom as well. That's understandable that you want to leave where you are!

    We do want to help in any way we can, but we first want to let you know that we aren't legal experts. We aren't sure how old you are, but if you are under 18 and want to live with someone else legally you usually would need permission from your parents. If you are a minor, and your family file a runaway report for you there is a chance that you could be made to come back home. That's if you come in contact with the police for any reason.

    Another thing to think about is how you would be supporting yourself once you are gone. Do you have friends/family that will be helping you? What if that doesn't work out? A lot of times youth want to leave, but then realize that it's not really easy to be gone on their own. Anything that you decide will be up to you, but we hope that whatever you decide you are safe.

    For further support, you are welcome to contact us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), and look forward to your call. Lastly, please note that we offer a live chat via our website at www.1800runaway.org every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST.

    Best,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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