I'm lost

[Unregistered]

I have the supplies and knowledge to run away and survive. I've got my bag packed, and a destination in mind. I can hop a train and be there in a couple hours. I just can't deal with my problems right now, there's too much to deal with at the moment. I struggle with clinical depression, and addiction to several substances, my family has disowned me, my friends left me, and my therapy group thinks I'm a joke, I really need some time to figure it all out. I just don't know what to do. I have done solo survival before, but not longer than a week, I wouldn't leave for more than a year, but I really feel like I have no other options. School has always been a struggle, and going on the better half of my sophomore year, I have no interest in continuing with this life, in the city and suburbs. I'm hoping somewhere out there I'll find myself. I doubt anyone would look for me, and I doubt they would find me anyway. The only problem I find with my plan is what to do when I get back, and that's when I question whether I should. I want to walk the country, see the sights, live MY life. I'd live in the North for the winter, then head West when the snow melts, walking or riding, it doesn't matter to me. I've got nothing to lose, except this old shell of my former self. I can quit what I use, and take what I need, and leave for anywhere. I guess I've always known this is what it would come too, since I was a kid. I haven't told anyone my plan, because I don't want anyone from my old life following me, I need to start anew. I have enough money to make it for a good long while, and enough supplies to live anywhere I end up, but I'm not sure if I can leave this. Granted my family and friends have all left me, but I still I've a cushy life here. I never had much of an affinity for people, but i still need them, they provide funds, and supplies and other things I need, but its easier with people I have no connection with, so the farther I would get, the easier it would be. All the people at school are so dead inside, I can see it in their eyes, and hear it in their idle chatter about pop-culture. I don't want to be one of them, but I'm slowly making my way towards it. I won't make it in this world, so I'm seeking a new one. I don't think I'm the only one that feels this way, I can't be. I need to leave, after Christmas I think I will, If anyone can talk me out of it, please try. I'm lost and in need of finding, whether its by someone else, or myself.

[ccsmod3]

Re: I'm lost

Hello there,

Thanks for being patient and we are sorry for the delay in our response. It sounds like you are seriously considering running away after Christmas. At the same time, you mentioned how you have a cushy life, so we imagine a life on the streets would be quite different. Please know we aren't here to make the decision for you, although we can talk about pros and cons. On the other hand, we do care about your safety. Often there are safety concerns when someone decides to run away or ends up on the street. It sounds like you're also having some existential concerns which we recognize might need an entirely different plan of action. We're sorry you're feeling so lost and struggling in school.

Struggling with clinical depression and addiction doesn't seem like it would help matters and we're sorry your therapy group thinks you're a joke. Please know we're here to listen and provide support to the best of our ability. There is also additional support available online. For example, To Write Love On Her Arms https://twloha.com/ provides support for a variety of issues including depression and addiction. National Safe Place (NSP) may also be helpful to you as well. http://nationalsafeplace.org/ NSP is a network of shelters and self place sites across the U.S. that help young people who have run away or are homeless. While shelters may need to speak to a parent/guardian at some point, NSP can be a starting point to access help.

We hope this gives you a start and encourage you to try out our Live Chat for additional assistance. Good luck!