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i was thinking of running away, here's why

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  • ccsmod6
    replied
    Re: i was thinking of running away, here's why

    Hello,

    Thanks for thinking of us and sharing more of your story. We are sorry to hear that things haven’t much improved in your home situation. But, it sounds like a great step to start making more friends. We are glad that they have been a support system for you.

    From what you wrote, it sounds like you still feel like you need to get out of your house. In one of your earlier posts you mentioned you would be turning 18 soon. How old are you now? If you aren’t 18 yet, how much longer do you have? What is your plan for once you do turn 18 (or now that you are)?

    From all of our previous correspondence it seems like you have a pretty good understanding of the pros and cons of running away. For youth who can support themselves, emancipation can be a great alternative option. Do you have a job? Would you be able to support yourself outside of your family? If you want more detailed information about how emancipation works in your state, you can call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

    Best of luck,
    NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Re: i was thinking of running away, here's why

    well here i am giving you guys at 1-800-runaway a up date.

    my family all moved into a house together. I share a room with my mom and my sister shares a room with my brother and the love birds get their own room. We gotta puppy recently which hasnt helped me cope my feelings, we only got him because my aunt wet into a spirling depression (no she didn't) and of course everyone yells some more
    --->it has not gotten any better<-----
    my sister is pregnant with a whiny little girl which is due in august, she thought the guy loved her but he dumps her when she finds out shes pregnant, go figure! While my brother cts more like a dad to me in bad way, he yells more then he hits. Once a few weeks ago, mom allowed us to drink and he knocked me to the ground, he was drunker then molasses. My aunt and uncle complain about everything i do, my time on the laptop, my chores, how i can't do anything right...... at least i got friends
    yes, i met some more while this little point in time came, and they urge me to get away...... i need help now.
    i'm thinking of emancipation now more than ever

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    replied
    Re: i was thinking of running away, here's why

    Unfortunately, we don’t know for sure what would happen if you leave and come back. As we stated before, there’s many different ways that the local police handle runaways that are almost 18. What we do know is that most often when it comes to shelters, the youth has to be willing to stay. Meaning they’re not lock-down facilities. When it comes to camps, these are generally hard to find and the ones that are out there are very expensive.

    If you have any other questions or concerns, remember our hotline is 24/7. Maybe you’d be able to call from school or a friend’s house if you’re not able to call from home. Since the bulletins are not generally meant for ongoing communication, we won’t be able to keep responding back. We hope you’re able to figure things out and make the decision that’s best for you and your safety.

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Re: i was thinking of running away, here's why

    i know i must b pretty annoying but am i talkin to a machine? do u think when i leave and come back my parents have the right to give me to a shelter or camp or a place that i wont have a say till 48 days? if they dont want me i would like to b in a place where i can use a phone go out have privilages but most of all if i could choose it would be a friends house

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    replied
    Re: i was thinking of running away, here's why

    You're welcome. Hope everything works out. If you do leave, just remember you can always call from a payphone.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    replied
    Re: i was thinking of running away, here's why

    It’s good to hear that you’re not really going to kill yourself. It’s a very serious thing, because it’s permanent. It seems that you’re just really frustrated at the whole situation. It sounds like you’re wondering if because you’re so close to 18, if that “counts” for anything. In most states, it’s up to the local police department’s discretion on what to do with 17 year old runaways. Many consider youth a runaway up to the day they turn 18 and will return them home if found. Some consider youth a runaway at 17, but don’t make them return home. Even fewer, allow youth to leave at 17 and don’t consider them runaways. We’re not sure what the laws are in NJ specifically. The best way to find out this information is to talk to local law enforcement, since they’re the ones that enforce the laws.

    From all you wrote, it sounds like you’re having a hard time dealing with being grounded and away from your girlfriend until you turn 18. We hope you’re able to find ways to cope with this and get through the next 48 days. Remember, you’re not alone.

    At this point, we’ve gone as far as we can via the bulletin boards. If you’d like to talk further about this situation and other possible options, we’d love to talk to you through our crisis hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY. Remember, we’re completely confidential and anonymous Call anytime, day or night. Best of luck to you.

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Re: i was thinking of running away, here's why

    i knewmy gf for a long time we started datin oct my parent think i love her 2 much

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Re: i was thinking of running away, here's why

    no i dont have the guts 2 kill myself i dont want to go to a shelter i just have to leave cuz if i dont i wont see my girl just 48 days till im 18 cant that count for something? i got a great job i live in NJ i hope i can leave

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod7
    replied
    Re: i was thinking of running away, here's why

    Thanks so much for writing in. It sounds like your dealing with a really difficult situation at the moment and are unsure of how to handle things. It seems like the biggest cause for distress is the fact that your parents don't approve of your girlfriend. How long have you been dating your girlfriend? Have your parents ever said why they have issues with her? Have they even met her before? Have you ever sat down and spoken with them about how you feel about your girlfriend and how it makes you feel when they speak badly of her? Is there a reason that your parents don’t like her, have they ever given a specific reason? Do you think it would help if you brought your girlfriend over to the house so they could formally meet her and get to know her better? Perhaps if they got to know her better they would understand why you like her so much and start to like her as well? Is that something you have ever discussed with your girlfriend or your family? It sounds like a really frustrated situation and it’s never easy when your family doesn’t approve of someone you really care about. You said that you want to go to your girlfriend’s birthday on Friday but technically you are grounded. What do you think your parents would do if they found out you left? Is there any chance you can speak with them and have the night off?

    It’s understandable how upset you are feeling about this situation and unsure of what you want to do. A few things that you mentioned in your post are that you have thought that you want to runaway. You mentioned having a friend you could stay with, how long do you think you could stay with them? What do you think your parents would do if they found out you left?
    Another thing you said is that you need help before you kill yourself. Is this an option you have actually considered? Are you currently feeling suicidal? Have you ever tried to commit suicide before? How do you think your girlfriend or your family would react if you killed yourself? Have you told anyone about the feelings you are having? A friend, counselor, or teacher? These are not easy feelings to deal with and it takes a lot of courage to open up and be able to talk about them. If you ever get to the point where you are feeling suicidal and need to speak with someone you can always call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK. Also, if you need to speak more in depth about the situation that you are dealing with you can always give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are a completely confidential hotline and there is someone here 24 hours a day to listen, discuss options, and even find resources in your area if needed. We are always here to listen if you need someone to talk to. In the meantime stay safe and take care.

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Re: i was thinking of running away, here's why

    well im 17 and my bday is jan 26 and i take my drivers test jan 07 but my mom is judgemental and judges my girlfriend i love my girl so much and my parents said im grounded till 18 and my girls bday is this friday im sick and tired of my parents doin this im almost 18 cant that count for somethin if i runaway i dont want to b in a sheter or ruin my life more i just wanna see my girl i have ppl i can stay ith thats no problem and i do wanna fiish school and get my license i need help before i kill myself

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    replied
    Re: i was thinking of running away, here's why

    We're so sorry to hear that things haven't gotten any better at home. It sounds like you're fed up with how you're treated by both your aunt and your brother. You wrote that you needed help. It seems from all our other replies that we've reached our limit on how we can help via the bulletin boards. If you're willing and able, please call our confidential hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY to speak further about what's going on with one of our crisis liners. We'd be happy to talk to you about how you're feeling, what options are out there for you, and assist you with coming up with a safe plan of action that you're comfortable with. By calling us directly we'd be able to answer any questions or concerns you have and talk through the pros and cons of each option. Keep in mind that it's a toll-free number and we're 100% confidential and anonymous. Remember, you're not alone in all this. We look forward to hearing from you.

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Re: i was thinking of running away, here's why

    i can't take it anymore! im tired of this bull!! T.T my brother has hit me for the last time, i wanna get away from here!!! my aunt yelled at me and called me a uncontrollable spoiled whiny brat who bends people to her will. i'm not like that!!!!! why do they hate me!!!!????!!!! i need help

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod0
    replied
    Re: i was thinking of running away, here's why

    We are glad that you have been able to reach out to friends, family and even your English teacher about feeling suicidal. It sounds like it could be really frustrating that you are trying to talk to your mom and feeling ignored. Do you think if you tell your mom or English teacher that you have something important to talk about it would help? It is good that you sometimes are able to have some one-on-one times with your mom though. You had mention that your mom has argument with the person that upset you. Have you talk with her about how that makes you feel? It can be hard to bottle things up, especially when it sounds like you trust your mom. We’re sorry that your uncle yelled at you. We agree with you that being yelled at by someone is upsetting. It sounds like your boyfriend is a positive support for you along with your cat.

    It sounds like you have a lot of going on at home and it is stressful for you. You have some positive way of managing and coping with it though. It is great that singing or draw works for you! Do you think it would help to talk to the teachers about why are you are drawing? Life can sometimes be confusing, but it is good that you know that drinking, smoking or stealing might only bring on more problems. You’re not a “chicken” for not cutting or breathing in carbon monoxide. Suicide is very serious and it seems like you have also thought of other options. You have a lot of strengths and it is good to hear that you know that life can get better.

    If you want some more information regarding suicide you can call 1800-273-TALK or view their website: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.

    You mention that you are from Michigan. Here is a website that is directly related to resources that may also be helpful: http://suicidehotlines.com/michigan.html.

    We are a completely confidential and non-judging crisis line. You can call us at
    1-800RUNAWAY (783-2929) to talk a little bit more about how you are feeling or anything else. You are welcome to call us here at anytime and whenever you feel comfortable. We look forward in hear from you!

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Re: i was thinking of running away, here's why

    I have talked to friends and family members about suicide, they just yell at me saying, " NO! DON'T DO IT! YOU WANNA GIVE UP YOUR LIFE THAT EASILY?!?!?" I've talked with my mom before, of course she is sometimes so busy with work, i think she ignores me sometimes. it upsets me sometimes because i hate when people raise their voice or yell at me, it reminds me of when my parents arguing. Just a few days ago my uncle yelled at me because i was making hot chocolate and thought i was ignoring him but in reality i wasn't, i was trying to make sure i didn't burn my hands and fingers. My boyfriend has been a support to me and so has my cat, they love me at least. I've recently thought of suicide but then again i'm too much of a chicken to slice my arms of try to breath in carbon monoxide because of the family history. I don't know how to handle certain situations at some times, i know smoking or drinking isn't the answer and stealing and getting into trouble is wrong. My mother at times does listen though, when it's just me and her. She usually after that has a arguement with whoever upsetted me so i usually keep to myself. I tried opening up to my english teacher since she's very nice but of course she has no flexible time for us to talk. The only way, i figured that i get rid of stress is singing and drawing anime which i'm retty good at. Of course teachers don't understand that at times when i'm done with my work that i will draw to distract myself from those thoughts, they just think i'm wasting time. Sometimes my life is so confusing, i wonder if it can get any better then it is. My boyfriend has told me that he will be around, thick and thin and that one day him and i will be married and my life will become better.
    thanks for listening

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod7
    replied
    Re: i was thinking of running away, here's why

    Thanks so much for writing in again and sharing some more of your story. We are sorry to hear that you are dealing with such a difficult situation at the moment. It sounds like life at home has not been going well for some time now and you are getting really frustrated with the situation. No one should have to deal with being hit or called names, especially in there own homes, and it’s completely understandable that you have had thoughts of leaving. You mentioned that everyone in your family seems to be against you, but that your mom has been a support for you. Do you ever talk with her about the situation or how you have been feeling? Have you spoken with anyone else about the situation or have there been others that have been able to support you during this situation? Now you mentioned that at one time you were going to family counseling but that is no longer happening. Is that something that would be a possibility again? Even if you weren’t able to go all as a family, do you think it would help to speak with a counselor one on one? You mentioned that things have gotten so bad that you have even thought about suicide before? Are you currently feeling suicidal? Is this something you have felt before and have you ever attempted to commit suicide? It sounds like this is a really scary feeling to have, because like you said people in your family have died because of this. Have you told anyone about these suicidal thoughts? If not, do you think you need to talk with someone about it, whether it is with your school counselor, a friend, or perhaps your mom? If it ever gets to the point where you are feeling suicidal and feel like you need some help or someone to talk to you can always give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY because we are available 24 hours a day. Also you could always call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK.

    It sounds like you are feeling very unsure of what you want to do in this situation, especially in regards to running away. It’s completely understandable that you are having a hard time knowing what to do, especially during such a difficult situation. You should be very proud of yourself for being able to open up and really trying to look at some different options before deciding whether you are going to leave or not. In your second post you mentioned something about emancipation.
    Now we are not lawyers here so we are not able to give specific legal advice. From the information we have, in the state of Michigan, if a youth wants to look into emancipation you must file a petition in the Juvenile Unit-Family Division of the Circuit Court in the county where you reside. Now this is a court procedure and it can often times take a long time to go through with. Also courts will often times look at whether a youth can support themselves without the help of there parents and where they are planning on living. If you wanted more information you would most likely have to talk with your area circuit court. Now if you ever wanted some more specific resources, like the circuit court in your area, you can always give us a call and we would be happy to look up any resource you may need. Also if you just need to talk about the situation we are here to listen and talk about options as well. In the meantime take care and stay safe, and remember that we are always here if you need us.

    Leave a comment:

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