Moving out 17

[Guest]

Hello readers

Im 17 and a couple months, living in illinois and in 8 months im stepping on a plane to join the us. navy

I have a good job and work full time and go to highschool full time.

My homelife is alright but we fight almost every week over working to much or not talking to them much.
Ive wanted to move out for the past year and i have 3 k saved up but can't touch it took they sign. My parents don't influence my life besides making me feel bad about myself occasionally but I'm used to it. They don't influence my school life or life choices and i have a budget with all my spending possibly If i move out. I simply don't like how I'm treated like a good for nothing highschool kid who wants to move out to drink but I've never drank and don't want to throw away my navy career

I know it's not smart to move out financially when i have only a handful of months left before i go to school through the navy.

I dont have a good emotional state when I'm around my parents it just brings me down. I brought up moving out and my dad got in my face and defensive and said i wasn't moving out got it and i said no sir i don't and he took my keys ( paid off truck given to us by grandma) and i didn't wanna ride the bus or walk to work in the cold and i can't leave school 2 hours earlier so i grabbed them and we went on the ground and he held me down and thought he smelled alcohol on my breath ( red lifesaver and Gatorade from work) and held me down and ended up hitting my head on the floor leaving a big bump and a headache for 3 days.

my mom wants a reason i want to move out and i feel like anything i give her won't work but i just want out to feel some freedom and responsibility before the navy takes care of my housing and where I'll be busy all the time.

they say i feel trapped from work but it's while I'm home i feel trapped.

she says if i move out i can't have my phone or the car which isn't a big deal i can afford a junker and pay off the phone and switch the bill to my name but i want the car i have now so maybe my savings can buy the truck from them but if i bring it up again i feel like they will still say no even if everything is completely logical.

sorry for the length of this but the chat is down and i don't know what to do now besides buy my own phone and car and leave

[ccsmod7]

Thanks for reaching out and sending this email. It is smart that you’re thinking through your situation before taking any actions; it always make sense to examine your living situation and decide whether leaving before your 18th birthday is the best thing to do right now.

As you explained above, you’ve been working really hard in both school and work to move ahead and gain a financial footing for yourself. You’ve also figured out that you want to leave home when you turn 18 and join the navy. That sounds like a very reasonable plan and something that achieves your goals.

It can be challenging when your wishes for your own life don’t necessarily line up with your parents ideas. Not sure if you’ve thought about this, but if there is adult you respect or a counselor at school you could talk to about your situation, maybe they could help you think through a way to manage staying at home in a way that could work better for you, and also think about communicating with your parents about your plans. Having an adult to confide in that understands your needs and could also help you create some communication or coping strategies may help you get what you want in a less disruptive way than leaving home. Counselors at school can often serve in that function. Another option is to talk to a therapy counselor. They can often be very helpful as well in understanding what you’re going through and being objective about how to help you reach your goals in a productive way. One resource is called NAMI at 1-800-950-6264 and they likely could provide resources in your area.

It sounds like you have informed yourself about your situation and you know that there are both pros and cons to leaving home. Only you know your situation and what you are dealing with well enough to make the difficult decision of whether to stay or leave. Here at NRS, we are non-directive and here to support you, and we are primarily concerned for your safety. Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you ever want to talk through your situation and help with brainstorming your options, so that you can make the most informed decision possible.

So glad your reached out to National Runaway Safeline for discussion of your situation. You’re taking good steps. We are here 24/7 so please feel free to call in case you want to discuss in more detail 1-800-786-2929.