family issues

[metalhead1784]

Hey, I found your web sight online and I need help. Im 17 and im not sure if I can handle living in my house anymore. My parents are emotionally and verbally abusive. We never get along and are always screaming at each other.They have scared away most of my friends and ruined a majority of my relationships. Ive been depressed for years but never got any help for it. Most of the time I feel alone in my house. Im allowed very little freedom as it is. They want to dictate every aspect of my life such as choosing who I can and cant be friends with. Ive considered everything from running away to suicide to trying to stick it out here and finishing high school. im confused and lost and not sure at all about what to. A few years ago they tried to isolate me from everyone and everything. They took away any means of communication with the outside world and wouldn't even let me leave the house, not even for school. My best friends knew about my situation at home and after 2 months of this they thought I literally died because no one ever saw me or could contact me. Im scared they will try to do this again. They are controlling to the point where im not even allowed to have feelings for a guy let alone hang out with one. They have tried to force me to believe in religion, dictate who i can be friends with, im not even allowed to wear certain clothing because they dont like it. A few years ago they threw away all of my shirts with band names on them just because they didnt like it even tho they were the ones who bought them for me. over the years theyve taken away almost everything i care about. I barely be the person i want to be and being at home feels like im in prison. Im literally afraid to have anything that has value to me because ive lost more than 90% of it. theres been so many times my mom's told me that i'll end up dying alone, and at this point im starting to believe it because theyve scared away almost everyone. my moms threatened to have almost everyone i know arrested by sending them screen shots of my text messages. Most of the people i know might not have a good history. some have problems at home like me or drug problems and so on but no ones perfect. They might not have made the best choices in the past but that dose not define who they are in the present. A lot of them are good people if you get to know them even if theyve had a rough past. im scared for them and myself. Just recently i had my friend over. It was late at night and we were just sitting in my room playing video games. Since im not allowed to hang out with any guys i invited him over to my house. They caught us playing video games. life at home has been a nightmare so far and i have a few friends that are willing to let me live with them. the only problem is that they are a few states away. I still have to graduate. im not sure if i should stay and finish or leave. At this point i have accepted that nothing i do will be good enough for them. I go to school everyday on time, i do my work and help out anyone that needs it. what should i do?

[ccsmod2]

re: family issues

Hey there,

Thank you for contacting us. It sounds like you really have been going through a lot with your parents being so controlling over your life. That must be really frustrating since they once cut your communication off from everyone to the point where your friends were worried about you.

We understand that you want to get away from your parents. Here at NRS we are non-directive, so anything you decide is up you. We aren’t legal experts so we can’t say for sure what your legal rights and options are. Even though you are 17, in most states you are considered a minor so if you leave you could be taken back home whoever you stay with could possibly be charged with harboring a runaway. A lot of times for school, youth would need their parents’ permission to enroll. Sometimes, that may not apply for homeless youth, but that could be different for youth who run away without parent permission. You may want to check with your local police or legal aid resources to see what they recommend. They are the experts. You may want to consider a backup plan in case the ones you have do not work out.

You seem to be really resourceful and generally not wanting to give your parents a hard time. For further support, you are welcome to contact us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), and look forward to your call. Lastly, please note that we offer a live chat via our website at www.1800runaway.org every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST.

Best,
NRS

[Unregistered]

I completely understand

I read your story and I want to say that I completely understand. My parents want to keep me locked up at home all the time, too, and it's so frustrating when they scare your friends away. I want to have a life. I am a person, someone who has feelings and thoughts and ideas. I want to be able to talk to boys and go on dates, but that is not possible because of my parents. I feel so trapped, and I am given only limited access to my cell phone/laptop. Thank you for sharing your story. I can't do much for you, and you can't do much for me, but I hear you and I want you to know that one day you will be able to be free from your parents just like I will, and you will have a beautiful life for yourself.

[ccsmod8]

RE: I completely understand.

Hello there –

Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline on our public forum. From reading our post it sounds like you are going through a very similar situation in your own life that that of the previous posters life. It’s great that you were able to share your story with us as well. You sound like a very brave person to be going through this and still continue fighting for your own rights and thoughts even with your parents limiting your social life. Seems like you’re pretty mature.

You’ve stated that you’ve been feeling like you are so trapped and have been given a limited time to access your cell phone/laptop. No one deserves to be treated that way. It doesn’t seem like that’s very fair to you. Has anything happened in the past that makes your parents feel like they should limit your cell phone/laptop access?

If you give us a call on our 24/7 fully confidential hotline, at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help you find resources in your area and could potentially help you brainstorm a solution to the issues you are having. We also have an online chat service available every night from 4:30-11:30PM CST that is available through our website (www.1800runaway.org). If you contact us and give us more information about your location and situation we would be more than happy to help you find resources.

Hope to hear from you soon!