Family Issues

[Guest]

I am 17 years old. I am a high school student that takes college classes. I have two jobs. I work extremely hard and I’m good at both my jobs. My future plans are to move as far away from my mom and stepdad as I can. I try so incredibly hard to do everything I can for my family. I pay bills, I buy groceries, I buy pet food. I’m not allowed to go to friends house. I’m not allowed to go out and do stuff on my days off. When I get home from school I have a list of chores I have to do before I go to work. I usually work 6-7 days a week 8 hours during the week and 10-12 9n weekends. My mom can barely keep a job, my stepdad doesn’t have one, and if I just happen to not finish the list because I have homework or I’m just simply tired I’m in the wrong. I get told I can’t do anything right. I get screamed at. I get sent to my room. I want to leave. I NEED to leave. My emotional state is awful. I am miserable. Someone help me.

[ccsmod2]

We are glad you are reaching out to us in your time of need because we are here to help. From your message, it sounds like you have a really busy schedule. Juggling two jobs, school, and your chores sounds like a stressful time, so it is very admirable that you have been keeping up thus far and that you are helping out your family.

You mentioned that your emotional state is awful and that you are miserable. We want you to know that you are not alone, and if you need someone to talk to that there are people out there willing to help! Have you tried talking to anyone about your situation before? A relative or trusted adult (such as a counselor or family friend) perhaps. If not, our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 is open 24/7. We are able to support you in your time of need and are confidential. We could talk with you about your situation and potentially help you talk to your parents about how you feel if you are comfortable doing so. We offer a conference call service where we could talk to you, then your parents, and then mediate constructive conversation between you. Sometimes, having someone (such as a trusted adult or one of our Liners on our hotline) present while you talk to your parents may be helpful in getting them to see your perspective. During this discussion, you could address your busy schedule and how that affects their chore expectations.

You also mentioned that you need to leave. Do you know where you would go if you were to leave? In most states you are not considered a legal adult until 18. If you leave without parental permission before you are an adult, your parents could call the police they could file a runaway report. That means that while you may not get arrested for running away, the police could bring you back home if they are notified of your location by your parents. Your parents may also have the option of pressing charges against anyone that takes you in. That may be some helpful information to pass on to anyone you were considering of staying with. A way that may avoid that type of legal action would be to get proof of permission to leave home (like a text or note from your parents) or to call the non-emergency number of your local police station and ask if they would take a runaway report from someone so close to adulthood. Some police stations won’t take runaway reports for someone so close to 18.

If you wanted to discuss the options we mentioned or are looking to explore other ideas, please do not hesitate to call the number we mentioned before! As we said before, we are here to help.

Best of Luck!