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My dad put me in a choke hold for holding a knife

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  • My dad put me in a choke hold for holding a knife

    So basically...I was just messing with a kitchen knife. Gently dragging it on my skin. I have a history of self-harm, so when my sister saw me, she ran to get our parents. I'm 15, she's 14. I heard someone approaching, and got up to see what was going on. When my dad walked in, I asked what was up and he suddenly grabbed my wrist. He screamed at me to drop the knife, or he'd break my wrist. I froze up, and he started to bend my wrist at a painful angle. I began screaming for him to get his hands off of me, but he pulled me into a choke hold and dragged me into the living room. I wasn't able to breathe or move. He slammed my hand over and over again against the wall before I finally managed to relax my hand into dropping the knife. He threw me to the ground, and I quickly crawled away screaming. This is the first time things have gotten physical- they almost did once when I gave a heavy sigh after an argument and he lifted his cane to hit me. Dad called 911, and the police came. I was taken to the hospital for a psychological examination, and the doctors kept saying it was my fault and that my dad did the right thing. I almost got admitted for crying. Is this really okay? I don't feel like he needed to make things so violent. My wrist, head, jaw, everything hurts. Everyone's acting like it's unreasonable that I don't want to be alone with my dad, touched by my dad, or have anyone touch my neck. I get close to a panic attack whenever someone hugs me or places a hand near my neck. I'm scared. Am I really unreasonable? My dad says I'm crazy, but I know I'm not. I know he hates me. I don't know if this is something he could get in trouble over. The police seemed to believe that he was defending himself, rather than overreacting. This all went down 2 days ago, November 3rd, 2018.

  • #2
    Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you had a really rough day, and things really escalated when there was a misunderstanding about you holding a knife, and the blame was put on you. That seems incredibly hard to deal with. Your feelings are valid, you are not being unreasonable, and contrary to your dad's hurtful words, you are not crazy. Here at NRS, we truly want to support you during this difficult time.

    It sounds like authorities are saying that your dad was in the right to get the knife out of your hand; which is understandable. However, it sounds like he used excessive force. Just so you know, you do have the right to report any physical or emotional abuse to Child Protective Services (CPS). It is hard to say how they would respond to your situation, and it is an unfortunate possibility that they could come to the same conclusion as the police and doctors. However, if they find the home unsafe they could possibly intervene. To learn more about your reporting rights, you might reach out to the expert child advocates at Child Help 1-800-422-4453. If you would like assistance calling out to your local abuse hotline to make a report, please do not hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

    There might be additional options for you depending on your situation, so please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you would like to talk through your situation and help with brainstorming your options. It sounds like you had a really traumatic day too, so you can always call if you just need support. We are here to listen and help as best we can. You can also reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org (you do not have to be feeling suicidal to reach out). Please know that there are people and resources out there who truly want to help.

    We look forward to hearing from you and we wish you the best of luck,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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