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I'm 16 and have been kicked out

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  • I'm 16 and have been kicked out

    My mom and I used to get along really well. She was bipolar and did somethings out of turn like throw stuff and blacked my eye once but I've been told I can't do anything about that now. But other than that my mom and I have had a great relationship except for a few minor hiccups.
    She married this man named Ramon when I was around 9. He's always been mentally abusive, saying things like I don't deserve what I have, I'm stupid, I'm fat, ect. My mom would just shrug it off and say something like "well, he's right"
    I also have a little sister, she's not Ramons. She's ten now, she's just like I was back then but she's bigger and has blonde hair and blue eyes (I'm half black). They treat her like she's the greatest thing in the world and used to get mad at me because I didn't do the same.
    Ramon has two kids by my mom. A boy and a girl. They're his pride and joy. I used to yelled at for talking about certain things (saying things like how I have a girlfriend, or I have other siblings other than them.)
    In the past 5 years mom had been taking her anger out on me. Ramon too. Yelling at me, saying how I was ruining their marriage. I remember one time Ramon punched mom in the face and a week later tried to slap my little sister (the blonde) so I beat him up. The police took him away (no charges). My mom looked at me and blamed me for it. Said I was ruining the household.
    I've beaten her up too, twice. Once she tried slapping me so I punched her out of nowhere. She had been yelling at me for a good while and I got mad, I felt sorry afterward but she turned around hit me back. We kept going until she took a cable box that was lying in the floor and beat me in the head with it. She then called the police and said that I hit her with the cable box. They believed her. I was sent to Juvie for a week.
    I'm telling you all this so you understand, they've been doing this to me for years. I can't have friends, she doesn't let me see them. If I'm happy in a relationship she'll urge me to cut it off. She harassed me to find a job and when I did she told me I couldn't. I had to stay home with the kids on weekends, I knew better, the job wasn't worth it. (The blonde) couldn't watch the kids, she's only 11. I was 11, I watched kids for her. Younger than the ones in the house. But I agreed, went along with what she said. I was good.
    I had recently gotten my drivers permet too, it wasnt a full thing but she let me drive. She never once said a thing about how it was wrong to drive. It was okay to her, she'd send me off on errands by car alone all the time. Now, this is why I'm kicked out.
    I had just driven the Blonde and my little brother to church, Ramon normally takes them but he was gonna be late today. Mom told me to take them, I had permission. I come back, Ramons there. Everythings quiet and okay. I sit down to watch TV with mom. Suddenly, Ramon comes into the living room and yells at me about how if I don't stop driving the truck he's gonna take the battery out and the tires off. He then storms out and leaves. I'm a bit peeved because it's my truck, mom had given to me. He didn't buy it, mom did. Not even the gas in the tank came from his pocket. What right did he have? He's even said that he wasn't my dad, no father figure, he doesn't do a thing for me. Mom bought groceries, mom and I cooked, I cleaned, mom paid bills, Mom bought the clothes or I got them from other people. He didn't do anything, from my standpoint in that house. Can you see why I was a bit mad? He was taking away the one way I had to get away from them, and it wasn't even his to begin with.
    I went outside, paced around for a little bit, went and lifted weights, started to go for a jog. I have anger issues, I was trying to stop myself from doing something I'd regret later.
    Then my mom said told me to stop. Stop exercising, it was making her nevous. So I did, I went outside and called my boyfriend at the time. I don't have minutes on my phone, not allowed to have them. So I called him on snapchat. I ranted to him until my mom came out, told me to stop spreading lies, and unplugged the wifi thus ending the call.
    I snapped.
    I'm really not sorry that I did.
    I went inside really calm like and asked if she unplugged it, knowing that she did. She sat there, said and said that she did. She didn't want me to ruin her image. I asked her if she'd listen to me talk, she said no. She was watching her show.
    Then I marched over and pinned her down. I screamed in her face "LISTEN TO ME, LISTEN TO ME". She spit in my face, I spit back into hers and headbutted her. Now, my mom has this hard bump on her head, no one has any clue what it is. It hurts her really bad if you press on it, so that's where I headbutted. So hard it knocked her out for two solid minutes.
    Then she woke up. Told me to let her go, and I did. She went to her room, I followed her. She looked me in the eye and said she was calling the police. I told her not too. Ramon did so much worst to her. Why call them on your daughter? She replied again, "I'm calling the police" that's when I realized that I was going to be kicked out, again. She'd kicked me out over little things 7 times already. This time, I wanted to make sure that I didn't have to come back.
    So I punched her in the jaw. And in her head. She tried to grab my head, pull me away but I kept her. She fell, I went with her. She got on her hands and knees and I punched her back to keep her down. I don't really remember what else happened. Next thing I knew I was crying on the floor. She was gone.
    I didn't know if I got my point across to her but I had to make it known to Ramon. I wanted him to not want me there too. So I took his prized bass, he'd been playing it and singing for a good three months now. No improvement, and by smashing it to bits I did the church choir a favor. He sounds awfully and would drive me nuts with his tone death voice and occasional D note he'd strum. I smash that and his computer, he doesn't use it but it would drive the point home.
    The cops came while I was smashing his computer. They didn't take me anywhere special, I ended up in the break room with a coke and I watch the big bang theory with two cops. Convinced one to watch a good series on Netflix. Then my uncle came and took me to his house.
    That's where I've been for two weeks now. I don't really have a problem with it but I want to leave now. My mom is still controlling me from the sides. My uncle has been unemployed for a few years and with no income in the house I don't get to eat other than breakfast and lunch from school. My uncle takes the car and gets to eat at his friends who'll spare food but mom told him I'm not allowed to go with. I've tried to find jobs but without my social security number, I'm at a loss.
    Am I wrong? What do I do now? I would normally just stay here but I fear my mom will come back for me. Jail isn't the biggest threat, her forgiveness is. I don't want to go back to them. What do I do?​​​

  • #2
    Hello there,
    Thank you for reaching out during this difficult time. It sounds like things between you and your mom have gotten stressful enough to get physically violent. You mentioned that this wasn’t the first time you have gotten into a fight with her and are worried about her coming to pick you up from your uncle’s house. Although we can’t tell you what you should or shouldn’t do, it might be a good idea to find some counseling in your area. You mentioned you have been kicked out several times before as well and it sounds like you wanted to make sure your mom’s boyfriend wouldn’t want you to come back to the house. It might be a good idea to talk to your uncle and see if he has any knowledge about your situation regarding if this is a permanent solution for you.
    You deserve to feel safe and wanted in your own home. It might be a good idea to talk to your school counselor about your situation and see if they could help offer you counseling or anger management skills. We are sorry to hear you feel like your mom treats the other children differently, that can be very isolating and frustrating.
    If you believe you may want to go to a shelter, please call us or visit https://www.nationalsafeplace.org/ to find a youth shelter near you.
    Finally, we do have a message service here at the National Runaway Safeline if you wanted to leave you mom a message. As long as it is constructive we can deliver the message for you, and she will have the option to leave you on in return. We wish you the best of luck and please feel free to contact us at 1-800-786-2929 if you need to talk to someone about your situation. Take care and stay safe.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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