I can't stand living with my family anymore

[ccsmod16]

Hi, thanks for reaching out; we're glad that you did. It sounds like you are going through a hard time at home and it's understandable that you want to get to a better situation.
There are Transitional Living Programs that might be available where you live and we would be happy to look up that information for you and help you reach out to them. A TLP is a shelter program that is long-term and helps you establish yourself and get on your feet.
We hope that you will reach out to us either by live chat through this website, or by calling our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929).
We truly hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
NRS

I am going to be 18 this month so I wouldn’t technically be running away but I can’t take living with my family anymore and I don’t know what to do. I can’t drive, I don’t have a job yet and I don’t want to be homeless but I want the freedom of living on my own. My cousin doesn’t believe I could move on my own. But I think I should and I can. How should I go about this??? Please I turn 18 on June 20th….

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a bit about what's been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage to do so and you should be proud of yourself! A year of quarantine is really exhaustive and it can put a lot of stress on otherwise productive people or positive relationships (like your parents and your relationship with them). It makes sense that you would be hurt that your dad isn't making the first move to mend the tear between you two since he's the adult. You are really mature for being able to notice what's going on and for being open to working on the relationship.

It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you’d like, you can also call us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY and we can set up a conference call with your parents so one of our trained crisis workers can act as a mediator.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS

We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

Since last year I can't stand my family. I am currently 17 and I live with both my parents and my older sister. We share a room, but she gets to stay there every day with the excuse that she has to study, so I have to go somewhere else. It is really unfair that I am never allowed to be in my own room. We live in a small apartment, so there aren't lots of places where I can go to. After a year of quarantining together, I started going to the gym every day, and I really enjoy it, not only because I like training but because it is the only place where I can be by myself without my family. Now my sister got covid because she was reckless and got together with a lot of people, and I have to pay the price, staying in for 14 days without going to my only escape.
And this is not only about the space. I haven't spoken a word to my dad for over a month because of a stupid fight that we had. We both said some harsh things, but he crossed a line that you cant just uncross. I've been giving him the silent treatment ever since, hoping that, as the adult, he would reach out and talk to me, but instead he decided to give me the silent treatment as well. He is the grown-up here, so he is supposed to try to fix things, but he is just too proud to ask for forgiveness, so he acts like a child instead.
Whatsmore, lately they've been telling me that I am ungrateful, which is not true, and that bothers me a lot.
I´ve always believed that my parents were the best. and I still do, but they don't understand that I have changed in the past year. My best friend always told me that she wanted to move by herself because she couldn't stand her parents and I never understood why, until now. It's like everything my family says or does bothers me, and I know that this is because of the bad relationship we've had lately.
I love them so much but I feel that if we keep going on like this we'll ruin the good relationship that we have. I just don't know what to do, because my mom doesn't understand me when I talk to her.
I know that my situation is not that bad, but I just needed to tell someone.

[ccsmod7]

Hi there, thanks for reaching out.

Sounds like you are feeling pretty unheard and mistreated at home by your aunt and uncle, that seems really hard to deal with. It can be frustrating when you feel like your guardians don’t understand you or are unwilling to give you a bit of independence. Sounds like you are a great student, and you are needing some changes with what you can and can't do.

One option to consider is talking to your parents about the possibility of compromises, and to better understand where each other is coming from. Perhaps you might want to discuss what you can do to make your aunt and uncle feel that you’re able to do more on your own, and what they can do to support your independence. If you feel like this might be a challenging conversation, include a supportive person, like a relative, teacher or guidance counselor, to make sure everyone is being heard.

Here at NRS, we have a conference call services to help mediate problems between you and your guardian(s). It can be a safe place to express how you all are feeling without anyone being interrupted, disrespected, or yelled at; and to work on compromises. Please do not hesitate to call us if you are interested in using our conference call service: 1-800-RUNAWAY.

Along with our conference call services, we do have a national database of counseling services. Family counseling services can help address communication issues that you might be experiencing at home. Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you are interested in those resources: 1-800-RUNAWAY; www.1800runaway.org. We are here to listen, here to help.

I cant take living here anymore. everyday they all treat me like trash. It seems like i get in touble foe evrything i do or say and if i every try to make a valid point i get in trouble for being disrespectful. i live with my aunt uncle and cousin, my cousin can never get in trouble and if there is any sort of disagreement between us it always ends up me being to blame and most of the time i am just trying to mind my business. Second I am never allowed to do anything, it doesnt matter how good my grades are, or if i havent gotten in trouble in school for years i am never allowed to go to a friends house i dont go to the store often, if i do its because we were all going there , and not because of financial reasons. Even though my grades have been all A's It's never good enough my xbox cord gets taken all the time and when i do have it especially recently the time has been very limited. One time one of my grades dropped to a C the day they decided to cheeck my grades and my xbox cord was gone instantly (i only get to play on the weekend btw and half the time i dont get to play on sunday). But a huge thing is the work it seems like on top of school and work i barely have any free time if its friday or the weekend (except sunday before 6pm) then i probably have something to do like yard work or dishes or sweep this or blend this or look for something in the freezer. and i get complained at for everything. I cant lay down before night or i am lazy, i cant wear certain shirts at certain times because they are nice (even though they are just regular shirts), i can't buy the stuff i want to buy even if i save the money for it. i cant foget tp dp anything and i am forgetful but everytime driving is brought up. i am the only one of my friends who doesnt have their permit. I also have been told i dont have much choice in what i want to do for college even though they dont have a college fund for me. The point i'm making is that i feel trapped and stressed out every day because it feels like no matter what i do there is something that i did wrong and i cant do anything.

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
It also sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,

i cant live with my auntie anymore i can’t even eat breakfast without being ridiculed

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for taking the time to write a post on our Bulletin and for sharing a bit about what's going on. It was very brave of you to share these difficult feelings. It can certainly be stressful at home when the adults in the household are not supportive.

It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 (www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org) is always available if you need someone to talk to about how you have been feeling. If you feel like you might self-harm again, you can text "connect" to 741741 to text with a crisis counselor for a safe space to talk about how you are feelings and even brainstorm some coping strategies. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of.

You deserve to be treated in a way that makes you feel supported and safe. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you with figuring out your next steps in this difficult situation. You can contact NRS 24/7 by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at 1800runaway.org. We are here to listen and help you explore your options. We look forward to hearing from you soon so that we can help.

Stay safe,
NRS

So I am a 14 year old female and I cant stand living with my family anymore. They treat me like absolute ********. I have cut a couple times in the past but they dont know about it. They threaten me and today my mom told me to pack my stuff because I'm out of here and I have done absolutely nothing wrong. I always separate myself from my family as much as possibl . I feel like they have never gave a ******** about me. And I have become completely numb towards everythin . I just cant do it anymore....

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you so much for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline and sharing a little bit of what is going on in your life.
It sounds like you are going through an overwhelming time in your life. Having a sibling get away with being mean to you can be really upsetting. One option to consider is sitting down with your parents and trying to talk to them about how you feel. Another option to consider is to talk to a trusted adult or school counselor about everything that is going on.
Also as far as deciding on a high school, writing down the pros and cons of each option may be helpful for you. Also talking to your current school about your options may be beneficial as well. Also doing things to cope with the arguments with your parents may help you as well.
We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to explore more options, please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to explore more options. We wish you the best of luck!
NRS

My family is driving me insane. I can't stand that my brother gets away with being so mean to me after I'm so nice to him. And my parents make rules that are unfair and I feel like no other family does this. I always get in fights with my parents and I don't want to be in the same house with them anymore. On top of all this, I have to choose what I want to do next year for high school. Two of my options are boarding, unfortunately, I really like the one that isn't (but I want to board).
PS I don't mean to say that my parents are bad at parenting. We just don't get along. I want to but I just don't see it happening.

[ccsmod15]

Hey there,
Thanks for reaching out it seems like a frustrating situation that you are dealing with so it’s understandable to feel frustrated and want to get some help thinking of solutions. Parents should be supportive of you and respect your privacy when they can.
Your concerns that were mentioned about running away are all valid concerns. With Corona Virus out some resources are shut down and there is probably less help out there if you get stranded. If you did leave and stay with your boyfriend there is a distinct chance that they could be charged with harboring a runaway, or even more serious charges such as statutory rape if people think you’ve had sex when you went to his house. If you had crossed state lines as well then federal laws can also make more legal consequences. And yes if your mom wanted to shut off your credit card if you ran away she could do that. She would also probably file a runaway report on you letting police know to look for you.
It seems like your mom is very concerned with you talking to your boyfriend online behind her back. Have you thought about things from her perspective a bit? You know him for how he treats you but she doesn’t have that context. To her this is a person who is at least 2 years older than you and is involving themselves in your life. Even if she doesn’t think they are a bad person she is probably at least curious about them. It may be that by sharing your feelings about him with your mom that she would be more understanding of your relationship. Most moms probably leap to their worst case scenario if they are faced with an unknown so your mom may be leaping to the assumption that your boyfriend is catfishing you and trying to isolate you from your family to traffic you as a sex worker. Open communication with her can clear this up and maybe create some trust between you in the long run and allow for trips to New York for both of you!
Hopefully this information is useful for you, if you have more questions or just need someone to vent with you can always reach us at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

hello, im a 15 y/o who wants to get out of my family house. i want to wait until my 16th birthday but i dont know if i can wait any longer, im debating if i should stay with a friend or stay with my boyfriend. i dont know if i should stay with my boyfriend because.....

1. he 18 y/o and he lives with other people
2. my parents might arrest him for "taking me"
3. he lives in new york which is 3 hours away for me

and if i stayed with my friend it will be complicated because my friend's dad has my mom's phone number so. i want to bring some of my electronics with me when i run away but i saw an article online that said i have to pack lightly. what should i do?

i also want to use my credit card to maybe get a hotel, get some food when i travel or get a uber to drive me. but my mom also owns my credit card so i think she can freeze my card when i try to buy something when i run away. i don't have much cash on me, i haven't gotten any allowance since february. should i buy me a temporary credit card to use or should i start working at a part-time job? if i have to work at a part-time job, should i quit school or continue to go to school??

im also scared to run away and have no place to go because of the virus.

the reason why i want to run away is because of my mom. she has been causing me some pain for the last couple of years. before i start my reason, my mom does not know that i have a boyfriend. she only knows that i've been talking to a "male friend" online. on wednesday the 18th, me and my boyfriend started dating. we had been secretly talking over the phone but it was kinda hard because my mom would come in my room and will constantly ask me what i am doing and she would ask to see what i was doing. yes, i know that's what mothers do but she was being very suspicious, ever since i told her i was talking to a "male friend" she has been on my ass. last night i was watching a movie with my boyfriend and she went into my room to see what i was doing. i told her i was watching a movie and she asked if i was talking to anyone, and obviously, i lied because if i told her that i was watching a movie with my boyfriend she would tell me to turn off my laptop. i told her no and she went out of my room. an hour later she comes back in my room and closes the door and starts to lay in my bed. i asked her why is she in my room in the middle of the night. she says that she wants to "hang out" with me. but i know it was bull******** because she knows i was talking to someone aka my boyfriend. when she had layed down i just sat on my bed with my laptop halfed closed. 20 minutes later i sneaked downstairs in the living room to finish watching to movie but she followed me, so i proceed to sit on the couch. i was getting anxious because i hate when im around my mom at night. like i felt my privacy invaded which i dont like. so about 15 mins or so i told her i was going to bed, i started to get up but she stopped me by saying that i leave my laptop with her. thats when ******** started to go down hill. i went upstairs and went to bed, but little did she know that i could easily voice call with my boyfriend on my phone. so i called him and i just muted myself because i knew my mom would come back into my room to see if i was actually sleeping.

i love my mom sometimes but these past months shes been on my nerves. its to the point where i cant even hang out with or talk to one of my friends irl, have a laugh, watching shows, stuff like that.

today i have to turn off my laptop and phone at 11:00 pm which sucks because i have done nothing wrong. i have done everything she wants me to do. i have done my homework, i had done some chores around the house. like i cant even do anything fun in this house. all she wants me to do is be a "good christian girl" so she can brag to her chruch friends.

can someone please help me, ASAP. i really want to get out of this house before i do something really stupid.

[ccsmod0]

We are so sorry to hear that you have experienced sexual violence. You do not deserve to have this happen to you, and you deserve to be believed and supported. One really great resource for all survivors of sexual assault or abuse is RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network). You can call them any time 24/7 at 1-800-656-4673, or go to www.rainn.org to use their online hotline. RAINN is the National Sexual Assault Hotline and has a lot of services, support and resources that you may find helpful. You can also call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you need to talk.

Because you are 18, in most states you can legally leave home with no repercussions. If you are feeling unsafe, it is important to stay somewhere you feel comfortable and secure. You are not alone. We are here for you.

Best of luck,
NRS

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