I can't stand living with my family anymore

[Guest]

i cant live with my auntie anymore i can’t even eat breakfast without being ridiculed

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
It also sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,

[Guest]

I cant take living here anymore. everyday they all treat me like trash. It seems like i get in touble foe evrything i do or say and if i every try to make a valid point i get in trouble for being disrespectful. i live with my aunt uncle and cousin, my cousin can never get in trouble and if there is any sort of disagreement between us it always ends up me being to blame and most of the time i am just trying to mind my business. Second I am never allowed to do anything, it doesnt matter how good my grades are, or if i havent gotten in trouble in school for years i am never allowed to go to a friends house i dont go to the store often, if i do its because we were all going there , and not because of financial reasons. Even though my grades have been all A's It's never good enough my xbox cord gets taken all the time and when i do have it especially recently the time has been very limited. One time one of my grades dropped to a C the day they decided to cheeck my grades and my xbox cord was gone instantly (i only get to play on the weekend btw and half the time i dont get to play on sunday). But a huge thing is the work it seems like on top of school and work i barely have any free time if its friday or the weekend (except sunday before 6pm) then i probably have something to do like yard work or dishes or sweep this or blend this or look for something in the freezer. and i get complained at for everything. I cant lay down before night or i am lazy, i cant wear certain shirts at certain times because they are nice (even though they are just regular shirts), i can't buy the stuff i want to buy even if i save the money for it. i cant foget tp dp anything and i am forgetful but everytime driving is brought up. i am the only one of my friends who doesnt have their permit. I also have been told i dont have much choice in what i want to do for college even though they dont have a college fund for me. The point i'm making is that i feel trapped and stressed out every day because it feels like no matter what i do there is something that i did wrong and i cant do anything.

[ccsmod7]

Hi there, thanks for reaching out.

Sounds like you are feeling pretty unheard and mistreated at home by your aunt and uncle, that seems really hard to deal with. It can be frustrating when you feel like your guardians don’t understand you or are unwilling to give you a bit of independence. Sounds like you are a great student, and you are needing some changes with what you can and can't do.

One option to consider is talking to your parents about the possibility of compromises, and to better understand where each other is coming from. Perhaps you might want to discuss what you can do to make your aunt and uncle feel that you’re able to do more on your own, and what they can do to support your independence. If you feel like this might be a challenging conversation, include a supportive person, like a relative, teacher or guidance counselor, to make sure everyone is being heard.

Here at NRS, we have a conference call services to help mediate problems between you and your guardian(s). It can be a safe place to express how you all are feeling without anyone being interrupted, disrespected, or yelled at; and to work on compromises. Please do not hesitate to call us if you are interested in using our conference call service: 1-800-RUNAWAY.

Along with our conference call services, we do have a national database of counseling services. Family counseling services can help address communication issues that you might be experiencing at home. Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you are interested in those resources: 1-800-RUNAWAY; www.1800runaway.org. We are here to listen, here to help.

[Guest]

Since last year I can't stand my family. I am currently 17 and I live with both my parents and my older sister. We share a room, but she gets to stay there every day with the excuse that she has to study, so I have to go somewhere else. It is really unfair that I am never allowed to be in my own room. We live in a small apartment, so there aren't lots of places where I can go to. After a year of quarantining together, I started going to the gym every day, and I really enjoy it, not only because I like training but because it is the only place where I can be by myself without my family. Now my sister got covid because she was reckless and got together with a lot of people, and I have to pay the price, staying in for 14 days without going to my only escape.
And this is not only about the space. I haven't spoken a word to my dad for over a month because of a stupid fight that we had. We both said some harsh things, but he crossed a line that you cant just uncross. I've been giving him the silent treatment ever since, hoping that, as the adult, he would reach out and talk to me, but instead he decided to give me the silent treatment as well. He is the grown-up here, so he is supposed to try to fix things, but he is just too proud to ask for forgiveness, so he acts like a child instead.
Whatsmore, lately they've been telling me that I am ungrateful, which is not true, and that bothers me a lot.
I´ve always believed that my parents were the best. and I still do, but they don't understand that I have changed in the past year. My best friend always told me that she wanted to move by herself because she couldn't stand her parents and I never understood why, until now. It's like everything my family says or does bothers me, and I know that this is because of the bad relationship we've had lately.
I love them so much but I feel that if we keep going on like this we'll ruin the good relationship that we have. I just don't know what to do, because my mom doesn't understand me when I talk to her.
I know that my situation is not that bad, but I just needed to tell someone.

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a bit about what's been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage to do so and you should be proud of yourself! A year of quarantine is really exhaustive and it can put a lot of stress on otherwise productive people or positive relationships (like your parents and your relationship with them). It makes sense that you would be hurt that your dad isn't making the first move to mend the tear between you two since he's the adult. You are really mature for being able to notice what's going on and for being open to working on the relationship.

It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you’d like, you can also call us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY and we can set up a conference call with your parents so one of our trained crisis workers can act as a mediator.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS

We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

[Guest]

I am going to be 18 this month so I wouldn’t technically be running away but I can’t take living with my family anymore and I don’t know what to do. I can’t drive, I don’t have a job yet and I don’t want to be homeless but I want the freedom of living on my own. My cousin doesn’t believe I could move on my own. But I think I should and I can. How should I go about this??? Please I turn 18 on June 20th….

[ccsmod16]

Hi, thanks for reaching out; we're glad that you did. It sounds like you are going through a hard time at home and it's understandable that you want to get to a better situation.
There are Transitional Living Programs that might be available where you live and we would be happy to look up that information for you and help you reach out to them. A TLP is a shelter program that is long-term and helps you establish yourself and get on your feet.
We hope that you will reach out to us either by live chat through this website, or by calling our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929).
We truly hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
NRS