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I can't stand living with my family anymore

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  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello There,

    Thank you for sharing a little bit of your story with The National Runaway Safeline, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and we are so glad you took the first steps into reaching out to us. You mentioned being abused, that is unacceptable and you do not deserve to be treated that way. If you would like to report the abuse you can call The Child Helpline at: 1800-422-4453. We know that making abuse reports can be scary, if you would like our help you can call us and we would be more than happy to help. You mentioned feeling lonely everywhere, you may want to consider talking to your school’s guidance counselor about how you are feeling. Sometimes talking to someone about your feelings may help you feel better. You can also contact NAMI which is the National Alliance for Mental Health. Their phone number is 1800-905-NAMI. They may be able to provide some more resources and may be able to talk with you about what is going on. You also mentioned wanting to run away, you may want to consider where you would go and if running away is the safest and best option for you. Also we know that you feel alone and this situation feels awful, but just know it won’t last forever and you are never alone there are always people willing to listen to you. If you have any other questions or would just like to talk about your situation more feel free to give us a call, we are available 24/7.

    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I can’t stand my family. I can’t. I’m only 15 and they cause me so many stress over all the stress highschool causes me. My mom is the worst out of everyone. This week she’s been really unfair to me and has been yelling at me non-stop and causes me to have breakdowns. Today she has caused me and breakdown and I’m currently crying typing this down. Yesterday, she completely stood up for my brother has she always does because he’s her fricking favorite and left me all alone trying to defend myself. I cried when my sister defended me during the agrument because no one has ever defended me EVER. That, of course, does NOT make her innocent as I shall never forget what each and every one of my family members have done to me. My mental-emotional health is not good at all it’s so harmed and I am aware. My parents abuse me. They do every time they just feel like I’ve done something wrong and to them everything I seem to do is wrong. I feel so damn alone. I feel like no one is there for me. My head is pounding and tears are streaming from my eyes. I am not suicidal because I’m aware of the consequences. I am however considering running away from this toxic household and family I just have no idea who I will to turn to. My friends are not very good friends either, they all cause me emotional stress as well. I will not go into detail of what they’ve done but all I’m gonna say is that I feel so lonely at home, school and everywhere. Both my family and friends have caused me so much breakdowns, stress, anxiety and depression I’m up until the point where I have no idea what I’m going to do because I do not want to stay in this house and I do not want to face my friends. This is all too much for my young self to handle, its really all too much and I have completely no one to turn to.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,
    Thank you for reaching out. It sounds like there’s a lot going on. We want you to know first and foremost that you are not useless! It can be difficult to get the motivation to do things when you feel alone or like no one loves you, and we cannot imagine how difficult it must be to lose your father. We have a couple options that you might consider. The first is talking with your family; you mention that you feel like they love you. It’s possible that they don’t realize how they make you feel when they call you lazy or say that you can’t do anything. Those are really hurtful things to say. You also mention that you want to change but don’t know how; this is so normal and it’s awesome that you’re thinking about ways to improve yourself. That’s a great first step! It might be a good idea to get in touch with a counselor or a therapist who can help you process what you’re feeling and talk about coping strategies. You can also talk about the things you want to change about yourself and think through ways to achieve your goals.
    As far as moving out, you are legally within your rights to do that. You might consider staying with a friend, family member, or in a transitional living program (TLP). TLPs are designed to help young people learn the ropes of adulthood and gain independence. They can provide housing for up to 18 months. If you need help finding a TLP near you, feel free to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929.
    You mention you’re also struggling to find a job. You might consider looking into Job Corps, which can help you find a job or train you for certain fields. Here is the website: www.jobcorps.gov
    Thank you again for reaching out. If you need anything else or want to talk more specifically about your situation, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us. We are here 24/7.
    --NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I can't live with my family anymore. I'm almost 21 but I can't get a jod. They say I'm lazy and I can't do anything. I feel like I'm all alone in my house and no one loves me. I dad died 1 year ago but I feel alone. I'm so alone that sometimes I think maybe i should run away but I have no where to go. Only my younger brother is nice to me. I feel like they love me but sometimes I feel like they don't want me anymore. I wanna change who I am but it's so hard and I don't know what to do. I just don't wanna live in my house knowing I'm useless.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    It sounds incredibly difficult to live at home each day. No one should have to feel unsafe and abused in their own home. Anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts are very tough and we’re glad you messaged us. Talking to your dad about staying with him might be a good idea. Also there are many affordable and free resources for help with mental health issues. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) or the National Alliance on Mental Illness (1-800-950-NAMI) may be able to help.

    Running away is an option that should be thought about carefully. Who would you stay with? How would you stay safe and support yourself? If you choose to run away and your mother decides to file a runaway report, the police can be called to bring you home. Whoever you are staying with can be charged with harboring a runaway if this report is filed.

    We have a conference calling service and could mediate a call between you and your mother. Alternatively, a school counselor could mediate a conversation between you and your mother in person. What you do about your problems, whether it be reach out to these resources or wait until you are 18 is ultimately your decision and can only be made by you. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help and we appreciate you reaching out. If you want to talk more about these issues you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or use our online chat.

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Im 17 and my mom has gone crazy, she decided to take away my phone and the schools chromebook, and threatened to take away my clothes, have me sleep outside and it gets below 40f at my house, and cut off my hair, in the past she has threatened to hit me with a flip flop over something my sister did, and because of her yelling at me I have a anxiety attack every time I hear my name or her even say it, I can't even trust her with telling her ive been suicidal or depressed, I told my dad this because I trust him and I dont trust my mom with anything anymore, some nights she stuck thoughts into my head that made me cry myself to sleep, all she does is care for all of the other little kids, she treats my brother like a god because his dad isnt alive, and that if he does something he doesn't get in trouble, I know that im not the best of children but I try my best, and if I try to tell her the truth she won't listen, she only wants to hear what she wants to hear, im afraid of living in my own home because she could do the same thing to me that she did to my sister and I dont want to go to the hospital, she won't even let me have my own political views, she wants me to think how she thinks and have me live my life how she expects me to, she thinks my dad isnt going to support me and its wrong, she doesn't listen to anyone, ive worked for her to get something and when I do what she wants it still isnt enough, I earned something and then I dont get it, Just can't handle being here anymore, I turn 18 in April but I dont wanna wait any longer

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi, thank you for contacting National Runaway Safeline. It seems like you are going through quite a difficult time and hopefully we can assist you. It is not fair that you are feeling so much pressure from your parents and not feeling like they are being attentive to your needs. That seems like a challenging thing to deal with. You don’t deserve for anyone, even your parents, to talk down on you. You mentioned that you are having a tough time mentally and have had some tough times mentally in the past as well. You are very strong to have made it this far and to have had the courage to reach out for help. It may be a good idea to consider some options to talk to a professional. Maybe there is a counselor at your school you could meet with who could help you find some resources or begin therapy. Another helpful resource is National Alliance on Mental Health who also has a hotline. Their number is 1800-950-NAMI. You mentioned some of your interests and goals, such as wanting to be a musician at one point. It seems you really must like music if you wanted to be a musician. It may be a good idea for you to explore your interests more by incorporating some hobbies such as joining a club or online community. If you have any more questions and concerns or would like to discuss some other potential resources please give us a call at our 24/7 hotline 1800-RUNAWAY or chat with us by visiting 1800runaway.org.

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    My family has done their best for me, they truly have tried, but you could say they did the job too well. I am currently 16 but I have been wanting to be on my own for the past four years now. I understand what it would mean to be considered independent, the pressure of having to care for ones own income and education and home, but I feel absolutely ready to try. Even if I am not on my own, even if I am with others, the least I want is to not feel pressured. Ever since I was a kid, I remember family fighting with each other, yelling and screaming. That left a mark on me, I have anxiety attacks when people in the house start yelling now. I remember being yelled at for low grades ever since elementary school, and eventually they gave up and just stopped yelling about it, and they always acted like it was my low grades causing my bad mental state, and not vice versa. I could always feel their disappointment though. Whenever I expressed dreams of my future, I wanted to be a musician, my dad would tell me to think of something more realistic. When I told him a year later that I wanted to be a teacher instead, he seemed adamant on telling me that I wouldn't be able to put in any effort, as if I would never be able to leave or make something of myself. I don't tell my parents my dreams for the future anymore. My relationship with my dad is toxic in a controlling sense, he plays a big role in my life even if I wish it wasn't as big as it was. He's the logical one that I get my problem-solving skills from and people-watching. He wants me to go into an engineering career of some sort, something I have no interest in. My mom has the toxic relationship of acting like my best friend. She doesn't enforce rules and she tries to pry me open like a book. I'm so sick of everything. I want to go see a therapist or psychologist and figure out what the heck is going on in my head but my parents are convinced that there's nothing really wrong with me. I want to be able to reach for my goals without feeling like my back is being watched at all times, I want to be able to feel comfortable in my own home space and the fact that I haven't felt that is killing me. I was suicidal in Middle School and my parents never truly batted an eye, even though they were aware of it. I don't want to kill myself at this point, I just don't want to be stuck the next two years in a house that I don't feel comfortable calling home.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like living at home has really taken a toll on you, and you are feeling like you cannot handle it anymore. That seems incredibly tough to deal with, you should be treated with respect.

    Seems like you have worked hard to advocate for yourself living elsewhere, but your guardians will not let you leave. That has to be pretty frustration. Unfortunately, the 3 legal ways you can leave home before you turn 18 are 1) permission, 2) being removed by child protective services due to abuse, and 3) emancipation. If you are experiencing any abuse at home you do have the right to report it to CPS. If abuse is your situation, please do not hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY to learn about your options.

    If you need to get to a safe place, here at NRS we have a national database of youth shelters. We also have a conference call service if you would like to have a mediated conversation with your guardians about how you are feeling and how you are needing to stay elsewhere. Please know we are here via chat or calling us if you ever need.

    We look forward to hearing from you.

    Best of luck,

    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I cant handle people asking me to just talk about it or wait two more years anymore. I'm done, I just need to get away from my family, they are toxic, lazy, stubborn, manipulative, hoarders and they wont let me get emancipated or live in the garage or live with friends or family please just tell me what else I can do?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    replied
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We're sorry to hear about all that has been going on and want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy in your home. We are not legal experts, but we can tell you that if you are a minor, meaning under the age of 18, and you leave home and your parents file a runaway report, you could be returned home. There could also be legal consequences for whomever you stay with for what is called harboring a runaway. If you want a liner to help you walk through other options like us mediating a conference call between you and your parents so that you could safely share your feelings, thinking through possible adults that you could turn to or could advocate for you, or things like emancipation and legal aid numbers, don't hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

    Best,

    NRS


    Leave a comment:


  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I've been wanting to move out because being here with my family is driving me insane because all I here is drama I've been in the middle of all of it ever since my parents got a divorce and I've been put down by family especially by my mom and dad I've never really had the support from them I have made most of my decisions knowing from what's good and bad. My mom has been helping out my older siblings from being on the streets and in prison and my dad he has never really been there from times when I need someone but at times he would compare to our cousins. What I'm really trying to say is at this point I don't know what to do anymore I can't deal with the drama that my family is causing I just can't take it. I've talked to the councilor at my school and teachers and they've notice that I have been falling into depression and I go fully into details with on what has happened within my life time and its been nothing but trouble. I want to get away from all of it. Reading this may seem confusing but you can see that I'm lost.
    ​​​​​​

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod3
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for contacting us! It takes a strong person to talk about their situation and reach out for help. It sounds like you’re ready to move out of your grandparents’ house, but you’re worried about hurting them and your mom. You are very considerate to be thinking about others when you’re in a difficult situation.
    It sounds like you’re looking for ways to constructively talk to your grandparents about what is going on. We can provide a few helpful tips for how to have a difficult conversation like this. Talking to your grandparents when you all have plenty of time to sit down and are not upset about anything is a good place to start. Staying calm and not yelling or swearing is also helpful.
    It sounds like you’re looking for ways to constructively talk to your grandparents about what is going on. We can give some options you could potentially use when having the conversation with your grandparents. It can be good to think about when you all have plenty of time to sit down and are not upset about, as well as staying calm and not yelling or swearing.
    You mentioned that you do not want your grandparents to feel hurt. Although we are unable to entirely control how others feel, sometimes when people are having a difficult time expressing their feelings, they use “I” statements, such as “I feel degraded when you say ____,” or “I want to make sure I’m in an environment that ___.” Doing this might help lift some of the blame off of your grandparents.

    A service that NRS offers is conference calling. This allows you and your grandparents to call into our Safeline and have a conversation about what is going on and how you’re feeling. This can be helpful if you feel like it would be better to have a mediator in the conversation.
    Thank you again for reaching out to NRS! You deserve to live in a positive environment for yourself. If you have any questions or every want to talk, please call us anytime. We are 24/7 and confidential.

    -NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I have been wanting to move out of my house for years. My home situation is not good: at all. I turn 18 next month and I plan on moving in with
    one of my friends moms house, but I don't want to just leave, and leave them in the dust. How do I approach them and tell them I am moving out and into my friends moms house? My friends mom has done nothing but help and take care of me. She mothers me and cares for me like I never have before.

    I am currently living with my grandparents. Their house has been my only stability since I was 4. I love them and don't want to hurt them but my toxic mother has access to me 24/7 and my grandmother is not really very nice to me. All she does is degrade me. I just want to leave without drama and hurt feelings. How do I approach this the right way?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We understand that it takes courage to seek help. We are very sorry to hear about the way your parents treat you. It must be very difficult trying to balance out two different cultures. Although verbal abuse is hard to prove, you have the right to report it. You could contact Child Protective Services to report your family. Child Help (1-800-422-4453) is a great resource to explore other options and get information on how to transfer custody. We hope that this information helps, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929) , email , or live chat if you have any questions or just want to talk.
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