I can't stand living with my family anymore

[Unregistered]

I am 16 and I can not stand to live with my family anymore. I live with my mom and step dad and I'm always treated like crap. I have 3 sisters and my parents always treat my youngest sister like a spoiled brat. She gets away with everything and can lie and get me in trouble for what ever she makes up. My parents never listen to me when I try to talk to them. Ive never tried talking to my dad when I see him because a while back my older sister talked to him about similar problems about 5 minutes later she ran to her room screaming and crying and my dad yelling. And I've tried talking to my mom and step dad but they just yell at me and grownd me and take my phone and favorable stuff away. I feel like I have no one to go to. Like I have no help. I can't stand to live with them anymore because nothing has ever changed and never will. I can't live with it.

[ccsmod6]

RE: I can't stand living with my family anymore

Hi there,

Thank you for contacting us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). It seems that you feel there is unfair treatment going on at home. You shared that your youngest sister gets what she wants as well as gets you in trouble. It sounds aggravating to have to go through this all of the time even after going to your parents for help, yet you are still in the same situation. Sometimes just talking about everything with someone else may help. We are here to listen, help, and explore some options that you and your family may benefit from. You do not have to go through this alone. We can explore a helpful solution to the current problem you are facing.

We hope to receive a call or chat from you soon.

Take care,

NRS

[Unregistered]

I can't stand my family anymore

My family is always making me do chores always making me do everything. They always hit me in the head everytime I do something wrong. I feel lIke I'm just a tiny piece of outside trash... they don't believe in me and I hate them.. they always scream at me for no reason. ...

[ccsmod14]

Re: I can't stand my family anymore

Hi there,

Thank you so much for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like things have been really difficult for you lately and we’re sorry to hear about this. We’re glad you shared a bit about what’s been going on.

You shared that your family is always making you do chores, and they hit you in the head if you do something wrong. You do not deserve to be hit by anybody. You deserve to feel safe in your own home. If this is something you want to report with Child Protective Services, you can call us here at (800) RUNAWAY and we can assist you with that.

It sounds like communication between you and your family has been very difficult. One service we offer here at the National Runaway Safeline is conference calling with youth and their legal guardians, to act as a facilitator between the two of you and make sure you’re both equally heard.

If you would like to talk further about your situation, please do call or chat with us. We’re here 24/7.

Best,
NRS

[Guest]

I can't stand living with my mom
she is always telling me to do things then later she calls me lazy and says I don't do enough when all she does is sit on the couch watching tv and eating. She yells at me everyday because I can't do things good enough for her. And I hate her boyfriend and I told her that and she told me why don't I go live with him. I would but he's an alcoholic and I can't stand him either because his girlfriend is the rudest girl who's also an alcoholic. I honestly want to die with all the stress I have but I wouldn't want to commit suicide I just can't stand the stress

[ccsmod9]

Thank you very much for writing us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are here to listen and here to help. We are so sorry to learn that things are difficult for you. It sounds like you’ve been having a difficult relationship with mom, and you do not like either of your parents’ significant others. It also sounds like you’ve found yourself wanting an end to the situation. That is understandable. We are happy to hear that you well know that death is not the answer you are searching for.

Is there any trust worthy adult around you that you could confide in? Or is there any relative in your family aside from mom and dad that you have a great relationship with and who your mom would approve of you staying with? If that is not an option, a helpful thing to think about is what can you do to help you cope with living with her until you turn the age of majority or are eligible (and have the means) to apply for something like emancipation.

As you may know, if you were to leave without permission and you happen to be beneath the age of majority (in most states 1, you would be a runaway. Running away is a status offense. Parents can file runaway reports that puts your information in a nationwide police database. While police vary in their response, they most often bring youth back home. Additionally, those who help runaways may be charged with harboring a runaway.

We hope to help provide you with more individualized supports. For this reason, we invite you to call us (we’re available 24/7) or chat with us. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929).

Best,

NRS

[Guest]

I can’t live with my family. I’m not even 13 yet and I’ve comtemplated suicide because of them. My mum and dad broke up when I was about 4/5 and my stepdad (Who I never liked) left last year. My mum constantly shouts and goes out partyin. She makes me cry constantly and stops me seeing family members who she’s fallen out with. I can’t do it anymore and I just want it all to stop, I can’t talk to anyone about it and I just can’t take it anymore

[ccsmod7]

Hello there, thanks so much for reaching out today. Sounds like living with your Mum is taking a huge toll on you due to constantly yelling and preventing you from seeing other family members. It is understandable that you are wanting things to change, you deserve to be treated with respect .

You mentioned that your family has contemplate suicide and you want everything to stop. Here at NRS, we want you to know that your life has infinite value, and you deserve to make it through this difficult time. You should not have to go through this alone. If you ever want to talk to someone you can always call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also always reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or www.suicidepreventionhotline.org. If you haven't already, you might see if you can get into contact with your other family members who your mom has distanced you from or your dad of possible. Maybe having a trusted adult on your side can help you get through to your mom. Also the easiest way you can leave home is with your guardian's permission. You might see if there is someone she would be okay with you staying with.

It seems like you have understandably been really affected by your family life. Here at NRS, we have a database of youth counseling services if you feel like talking to a professional about your situation could help as well. They can be individual or family counseling services if you think including your mom on the conversation could help. We also have a conference call service if you would like to call us. We can provide a safe, mediated setting for you to have a productive conversation with your mom. Your feelings are so valid, and you should be heard.

We look forward to hearing from you via phone or through our live chat so we can best help & we truly wish you the best,

NRS

[Guest]

I can't stay him anymore.

Im 17 before I had a job my whole family used to call me lazy and useless and used to call me dumb and stupid, they still do, I have a job now and they always complain about having to take me and gas and calling me lazy because sometimes I'm just really tired from work and school, my mom constantly hits me with anything she can get her hands on. And my stepdad used to hit me but child services got involved and he stopped but my mom hits me really bad still, my sister always calls me fat and ugly and all kinds of stuff that makes me really feel like crap, and most of the time my mom will agree with my sister. I can't talk to any of them, the moment I try to say something my mom just pushes me away and tells me to do something useful and my sisters always call me names, I'm tired of being here I dont think I can stand to stay here that much longer. I'm trying as hard as I can for everyone, I even spend all of my check on them most of the time and then they always throw in my face that I never do nothing for them. Anything bad you can think of is happening here. I just can't stand it anymore.

[ccsmod3]

Hello,
and thank you for reaching out to us, we know how hard it can be to ask for help sometimes. It shows that you are a very strong person based on your work ethic, how much you try to provide for your family, and your attempt to make a well-informed decision. It sounds like you are stressed and the situation that you’re in sounds frustrating. You don’t deserve to be treated this way.

You mentioned getting your step dad involved with social services in regards to his physical abuse, you may be able to do the same in regards to your the abuse from your mom. If you need emotional support with the report (Child Help 1-800-422-4453), you can always call us and we could help you out with it. You also said it is difficult for you to talk to your family without being dismissed, having a counselor tends to help family communication if you wish to be heard. You may also be able to talk to other family or friends to help you cope with this difficult situation. It seems like you are emotionally and even physically exhausted from this situation and want to get out if, if you were to go elsewhere you could go somewhere safe like other family members or close friends but, if you were to run away without consent there is the possibility that your parents could file a runaway report and search for you. To avoid this, your parents have to give you permission to live elsewhere.

Again, thank you for reaching out to us, the first step is always difficult and it is smart to try to figure out your possible options. If you have any further questions, need more options, or even just need someone to talk to, please chat with us (on our website https://www.1800runaway.org) or call us (at 1-800-786-2929). We’re here to listen, and here to help.

-NRS

[Guest]

I don't know what to do anymore, i'm always the loser. I get exceptional grades and school and my parents never care, in fact they never care about any of my accomplishes. Only my failures. My parents have beaten me down so hard for them, that now I feel awkward to even talk to them. I wish I could run away to my friends family but I never was able to build up the nerves. I've just become so shy and I know exactly why. It's because I am scared to talk to my own parents! And when I try to talk to them they scream, call me swear words and pretty much say i'm a disgrace of a human. I honestly feel like i'm treated like trash, like i'm just there to be taken advantage of. My phone and XBOX is always taken away from my damn brother who rages at the stuff everyday. But guess who gets in trouble. Not him! Only me. I can't do anything, everything just gets me in trouble.

[ccsmod6]

Hi there,

Thank you for coming to the National Runaway Safeline (NRS) for help in this difficult time. I'm sorry to hear that your parents are showing you hostility instead of appreciation -- you deserve to be loved in your family.

When things at home are not where they should be, it can be very difficult to get through on your own, an it's often helpful to rely on others for support. Close friends that have earned your trust can be sympathetic and insightful, especially if they know your parents. Likewise, there might be a counselor or a teacher at school you appreciate that can help you with your situation.

It's also helpful to rely on our own selves to get us though a tough time. If you can remember any times when you had a positive relationship with your parents, that might be helpful in thinking of a way to relate to your parents now that things aren't well.

The NRS is always available for you to call and speak to someone about your situation at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We could even have a conference call with your parents, if that's something you're interested in.

We really appreciate you opening up to us. Good luck in the meantime, and we wish the all best for you.

--NRS

[Guest]

I can’t stand living with my family anymore. My mom is severly bipolar always in and out of mental hospitals, and my dad is always travelling for business or spoiling his new trophy wife who he cheated on my mom for. Not to mention my stepmom always acting hostile towards my sister and I as well as taking money that would have been spent on our college fund for her lavish vacations. On top of taking our dad’s money and attention, she expects us to babysit her children constantly and makes my sister take care of me. My sister is going off to college and I have no idea what to do. I wish I could go live with my aunt who lives in the next town over and closer to my school, but I have no idea how I’d convince my dad to let me do that. Also, I wouldn’t want to burden my aunt because one of her sons is severely disabled. He is in a wheelchair, unable to speak or hear, partially blind, and suffers multiple seizures a day. I want to run away, but I can’t risk throwing away my future and my straight A’s.

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are overwhelmed with things that are going on at home. We are very sorry to hear about your family. It sounds like you want to live with your aunt. You may want to consider talking to her first, if she agrees to let you stay with her she may be able to convince your dad into letting you stay with her. You mentioned that you want to runaway. Having a plan about where you would go and how you would take care of yourself is important. If you decide to runaway, your family has the right to file a runaway report. With a runaway report, if the police find you they would return you home. Running away is not illegal, but if you decide to stay with someone without your dad's consent they could get in trouble for harboring a runaway. If you have any other questions or just want to talk, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.

[Guest]

My family is mentally abusive and very conservative. They are immigrants to this country and believe that this is not their country. Unlike other parents, they do not take things lightly. As compared to other teenagers, i am not allowed to socialise, they believe mental illness does not exist and told me that if i have a mental health condition then i would not be approved in their culture, anyways in a 90 degree weather during summer, my family forces me to wear jeans and full sleeved shirts. At first i thought my parents were normal and when i had been asked to a high school dance, i was so excited to tell my parents of the news because I knew my other friends parents took pictures and loved to have family talks, but things did not turn out NORMAL. They filed papers for me to be sent to an all girls boarding school in another traditional country after hearing that news. They verbally abused me for weeks. They discourage me and treat me like i am always wrong. I try my best to bring them pride, i play two high school sports, study inorder to achieve best grades, and do everything they believe is successful but i am still a worthless foreign kid to them. I share a room with my younger sibling, who my parents bias. They remind me everyday how worthless i am compared to my younger sibling and remind of how lazy i am. I really try everyday to smile infront of them but their constant remarks and looks mentally beat me. I can not focus on studies and do not find happiness when around them. My friends have notices and have been worried for me aswelll. I am scared and do not have any other option but to part from this type of relation. I want to live a happy life with peace and success but the people i am related to through blood are pulling me down, i do not see a clear future when they are near me.

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We understand that it takes courage to seek help. We are very sorry to hear about the way your parents treat you. It must be very difficult trying to balance out two different cultures. Although verbal abuse is hard to prove, you have the right to report it. You could contact Child Protective Services to report your family. Child Help (1-800-422-4453) is a great resource to explore other options and get information on how to transfer custody. We hope that this information helps, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929) , email , or live chat if you have any questions or just want to talk.

[Guest]

I have been wanting to move out of my house for years. My home situation is not good: at all. I turn 18 next month and I plan on moving in with
one of my friends moms house, but I don't want to just leave, and leave them in the dust. How do I approach them and tell them I am moving out and into my friends moms house? My friends mom has done nothing but help and take care of me. She mothers me and cares for me like I never have before.

I am currently living with my grandparents. Their house has been my only stability since I was 4. I love them and don't want to hurt them but my toxic mother has access to me 24/7 and my grandmother is not really very nice to me. All she does is degrade me. I just want to leave without drama and hurt feelings. How do I approach this the right way?

[ccsmod3]

Hi there,

Thank you for contacting us! It takes a strong person to talk about their situation and reach out for help. It sounds like you’re ready to move out of your grandparents’ house, but you’re worried about hurting them and your mom. You are very considerate to be thinking about others when you’re in a difficult situation.
It sounds like you’re looking for ways to constructively talk to your grandparents about what is going on. We can provide a few helpful tips for how to have a difficult conversation like this. Talking to your grandparents when you all have plenty of time to sit down and are not upset about anything is a good place to start. Staying calm and not yelling or swearing is also helpful.
It sounds like you’re looking for ways to constructively talk to your grandparents about what is going on. We can give some options you could potentially use when having the conversation with your grandparents. It can be good to think about when you all have plenty of time to sit down and are not upset about, as well as staying calm and not yelling or swearing.
You mentioned that you do not want your grandparents to feel hurt. Although we are unable to entirely control how others feel, sometimes when people are having a difficult time expressing their feelings, they use “I” statements, such as “I feel degraded when you say ____,” or “I want to make sure I’m in an environment that ___.” Doing this might help lift some of the blame off of your grandparents.

A service that NRS offers is conference calling. This allows you and your grandparents to call into our Safeline and have a conversation about what is going on and how you’re feeling. This can be helpful if you feel like it would be better to have a mediator in the conversation.
Thank you again for reaching out to NRS! You deserve to live in a positive environment for yourself. If you have any questions or every want to talk, please call us anytime. We are 24/7 and confidential.

-NRS

[Guest]

I've been wanting to move out because being here with my family is driving me insane because all I here is drama I've been in the middle of all of it ever since my parents got a divorce and I've been put down by family especially by my mom and dad I've never really had the support from them I have made most of my decisions knowing from what's good and bad. My mom has been helping out my older siblings from being on the streets and in prison and my dad he has never really been there from times when I need someone but at times he would compare to our cousins. What I'm really trying to say is at this point I don't know what to do anymore I can't deal with the drama that my family is causing I just can't take it. I've talked to the councilor at my school and teachers and they've notice that I have been falling into depression and I go fully into details with on what has happened within my life time and its been nothing but trouble. I want to get away from all of it. Reading this may seem confusing but you can see that I'm lost.

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We're sorry to hear about all that has been going on and want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy in your home. We are not legal experts, but we can tell you that if you are a minor, meaning under the age of 18, and you leave home and your parents file a runaway report, you could be returned home. There could also be legal consequences for whomever you stay with for what is called harboring a runaway. If you want a liner to help you walk through other options like us mediating a conference call between you and your parents so that you could safely share your feelings, thinking through possible adults that you could turn to or could advocate for you, or things like emancipation and legal aid numbers, don't hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

Best,

NRS

[Guest]

I cant handle people asking me to just talk about it or wait two more years anymore. I'm done, I just need to get away from my family, they are toxic, lazy, stubborn, manipulative, hoarders and they wont let me get emancipated or live in the garage or live with friends or family please just tell me what else I can do?

[ccsmod7]

Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like living at home has really taken a toll on you, and you are feeling like you cannot handle it anymore. That seems incredibly tough to deal with, you should be treated with respect.

Seems like you have worked hard to advocate for yourself living elsewhere, but your guardians will not let you leave. That has to be pretty frustration. Unfortunately, the 3 legal ways you can leave home before you turn 18 are 1) permission, 2) being removed by child protective services due to abuse, and 3) emancipation. If you are experiencing any abuse at home you do have the right to report it to CPS. If abuse is your situation, please do not hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY to learn about your options.

If you need to get to a safe place, here at NRS we have a national database of youth shelters. We also have a conference call service if you would like to have a mediated conversation with your guardians about how you are feeling and how you are needing to stay elsewhere. Please know we are here via chat or calling us if you ever need.

We look forward to hearing from you.

Best of luck,

NRS

[Guest]

My family has done their best for me, they truly have tried, but you could say they did the job too well. I am currently 16 but I have been wanting to be on my own for the past four years now. I understand what it would mean to be considered independent, the pressure of having to care for ones own income and education and home, but I feel absolutely ready to try. Even if I am not on my own, even if I am with others, the least I want is to not feel pressured. Ever since I was a kid, I remember family fighting with each other, yelling and screaming. That left a mark on me, I have anxiety attacks when people in the house start yelling now. I remember being yelled at for low grades ever since elementary school, and eventually they gave up and just stopped yelling about it, and they always acted like it was my low grades causing my bad mental state, and not vice versa. I could always feel their disappointment though. Whenever I expressed dreams of my future, I wanted to be a musician, my dad would tell me to think of something more realistic. When I told him a year later that I wanted to be a teacher instead, he seemed adamant on telling me that I wouldn't be able to put in any effort, as if I would never be able to leave or make something of myself. I don't tell my parents my dreams for the future anymore. My relationship with my dad is toxic in a controlling sense, he plays a big role in my life even if I wish it wasn't as big as it was. He's the logical one that I get my problem-solving skills from and people-watching. He wants me to go into an engineering career of some sort, something I have no interest in. My mom has the toxic relationship of acting like my best friend. She doesn't enforce rules and she tries to pry me open like a book. I'm so sick of everything. I want to go see a therapist or psychologist and figure out what the heck is going on in my head but my parents are convinced that there's nothing really wrong with me. I want to be able to reach for my goals without feeling like my back is being watched at all times, I want to be able to feel comfortable in my own home space and the fact that I haven't felt that is killing me. I was suicidal in Middle School and my parents never truly batted an eye, even though they were aware of it. I don't want to kill myself at this point, I just don't want to be stuck the next two years in a house that I don't feel comfortable calling home.

[ccsmod6]

Hi, thank you for contacting National Runaway Safeline. It seems like you are going through quite a difficult time and hopefully we can assist you. It is not fair that you are feeling so much pressure from your parents and not feeling like they are being attentive to your needs. That seems like a challenging thing to deal with. You don’t deserve for anyone, even your parents, to talk down on you. You mentioned that you are having a tough time mentally and have had some tough times mentally in the past as well. You are very strong to have made it this far and to have had the courage to reach out for help. It may be a good idea to consider some options to talk to a professional. Maybe there is a counselor at your school you could meet with who could help you find some resources or begin therapy. Another helpful resource is National Alliance on Mental Health who also has a hotline. Their number is 1800-950-NAMI. You mentioned some of your interests and goals, such as wanting to be a musician at one point. It seems you really must like music if you wanted to be a musician. It may be a good idea for you to explore your interests more by incorporating some hobbies such as joining a club or online community. If you have any more questions and concerns or would like to discuss some other potential resources please give us a call at our 24/7 hotline 1800-RUNAWAY or chat with us by visiting 1800runaway.org.