My mom keeps hitting me and gets really mad about my grades

[Unregistered]

Hi there. My problem is not as serious as others here but I do have one. Im an A student, but lately ive been getting low grades in Spanish which isnt my native language. My mom does not speak Spanish, but she used to in high school. My dad speaks it fluently as with other languages. I am white, as are all the other members of the family. My mom, when she gets really mad starts hitting my and pulling my hair. She will go into a rage real quick, and then in short bursts afterwards for no reason. She does this to my brothers as well. My dad and her blame it on her emotional fluctuations and high stress. I think is bull******** and she is just a sadist. She sometimes screams at my dad in the same way, but never hits him. 1: should I run away, even just for a couple hours after school to scare them, and 2: how should I talk to them? Thanks for your help.

[ccsmod7]

Re: My mom keeps hitting me and gets really mad about my grades

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us. We’re glad that you feel comfortable sharing on our online forum. It seems like you are doing really well in school considering the stress that you are going through at home. No one deserves to be hit or have their hair pulled. It must be frustrating to have your dad excuse your mom’s behavior and it’s reasonable that you want to find a good way to communicate to them how their actions are making you feel.

As far as your question about running away, it may be good to keep a couple things in mind when making that decision. One, is to think about how your parents would react. Would that make it easier or harder to talk to them about the issues at home? If you weren’t to come home as expected, would they be likely to call the police? Although running away isn’t a crime, if they were to make a police report, the police would have authority to return you home. Just something to consider.

As far as how to talk to your parents about how you’re feeling. That seems like a good first step. Some things to maybe ask yourself are, how has talking to them about it in the past worked out? Is there a time of day that would be best? You might want to think about whether you want to talk to them together or separately. You mentioned you had a brother, would both of you talking to your parents be helpful? Maybe there’s someone who can help facilitate a conversation between you and your parents, like a relative perhaps. Sometimes it’s helpful to write down what your main points you want to get across are before you sit down to talk with them.

We also want to let you know that reporting your mom’s abuse is also an option we can discuss with you. If it’s something you’re considering, you might find this website useful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/.
We hope this information has been helpful and we would be happy to discuss with your situation in more detail and strategize with you some ways that you can talk to your parents about what you’re going through. Please feel free to reach out to us through phone or chat.

Best,
NRS

[Guest]

My mom found out I have bad grades and hit me with a book I really want to find a new mother who loves me and doesn´t neglect me because she loves my siblings and says i am her least favorite I want to run away but I don´t want to get hurt by other people and if I came back she would hurt me more she hits me with random objects hanger,book,shoe, and binders I hate her so much

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thanks for taking the time to write us here at NRS. It can certainly be stressful at home when the adults in the household are not supportive. Abuse does get overwhelming and it can be tough to cope with on your own. Abuse of any kind is never okay and not your fault.

Generally speaking, your parents are your legal guardians until you turn 18, so they can decide where you live. If you do choose to leave without permission, your parents can report you as a runaway to the police. Running away is not illegal, but it is a status offense. This means that if your parents know where you are staying then they can have the police return you home.

The easiest way to leave home as a minor is with your parents’ permission. In this case, they would be allowing you to live somewhere else where you are safe and being cared for. A helpful step is to start reaching out to friends and family members you might be able to stay with. Sometimes having an adult advocate on your side can make communicating your needs more effective to your parents. Perhaps an adult family member, a friend's parent or a counselor at school can talk to your parents with you about your experience at home and the possibility of you leaving.

You do have the option to make a child abuse report to get a social worker involved to help you. Child Help is an organization that advocates for young people in abusive and unhealthy situations. You can contact them at 1-800-422-4453 or go to childhelphotline.org to talk more about what reporting would look like for you and what your options are.

We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

Stay safe,
NRS