Im 17 and living in an abusive and unsafe household

[Guest]

Hi, I’m 17 years old and I need advice on how to handle something. I live in a verbally and physically abusive household, I have a job that I try to spend as much time at as I can (away from home) on top of school. My parents always expected a lot of me, they expected me to balance daily chores both indoors/outdoors, school, extracurricular activities, and now work. When I haven’t been able to deliver they’ve gotten really mad and I get mad for them not giving me enough slack. My entire life I’ve thought that my life is just normal, as I’ve gotten older and gotten more experiences such as: being locked in my room for days, forced to stay in the house as a prison, forced to sleep on the floor of a room with no furniture and only a single blanket. I’ve realized that this isn’t normal, and as I’ve gotten older I’ve tried to rebel and protect myself from it all, both physically and mentally. If I try to rebel and protect myself From my mother she lies to my father, who believes her unconditionally and has present anger issues, who, like today, said “I will kill you, I don’t mind going to prison.” And in fact, I believe him, and I’m extremely scared, he’s held me up by just my throat before when I was 12, and he’s abused me (along with my mother) many times. Both my parents are very careful never to touch my face, although I have scars from my mothers nails along my arms, they mostly left bruises, and my mother broke my wrist when I was a kid. She told me then to tell the doctor I was playing basketball, which, anyone that knows me knows that I would’ve never even had the chance because I never played.

Outside of the abuse, I’m worried that if I come forward with my name that it’ll ruin my chances at education, I.e. college. But I do want to go to either the college or the military, I’m a decently smart person but I’m worried that my parents would be unwilling to give me my college fund if I were to come forward and hopefully get away from them.

[ccsmod2]

: Hello there,

Thank you for reaching out to NRS and having the strength to share your story with us. We are sorry to hear about your situation and what you’ve been dealing with. Ideally, home would be a place where people feel safe, loved, and valued, and you do not deserve to be treated that way. You’ve been very courageous to reach out for help and try your best despite the circumstances.

You mentioned instances of physical abuse. We understand that that trauma can be difficult to work through and that reporting may not be an option you are comfortable with. However, you do deserve to live in a safe place, and if you wanted to talk more about child abuse reporting or wanted support, Child Help (National Child Abuse Hotline) accessible by phone at 1-800-422-4453 and online at childhelp.org could be a resource for learning what reporting would look like.

We understand your financial concerns about your future, however you do not deserve to undergo any type of abuse. There may be financial aid available to help you in your education, and if you were able to use the money you get from work and save it in a private account, we would encourage you to consider your financing options should you decide to report your abuse.

If you did not feel like reporting, coping and safety-planning are also options. We understand that you are dealing with a lot, and should you need to have outlets in order to get you through the everyday until you are able to leave, journaling, talking with friends, engaging in a physical activity, reading, or listening to music could be options for you.

If you would like to talk about other resources and support, feel free to call our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or use our Live Chat.
We hope this information was helpful and take care.
National Runaway Safeline
[email protected] (Crisis Email)
1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)