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(16) Can't take parents' physical abuse, CPS doesn't believe me or doesn't care

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  • (16) Can't take parents' physical abuse, CPS doesn't believe me or doesn't care

    My parents will do/have done things like shove and push me roughly, pry open my eyelids, hit me over and over with their fists (my mom is weak though, so it doesn't really hurt), plug my nose and/or mouth off to cut off my breathing, prod me with a stick, stick their finger in my mouth and then wipe it on my face, pull at my body hair, prod me with a stick (this only happened when I used to sleep in a loft bed), and otherwise. While my siblings are college age now, in the past my dad has done things like hit them over and over with a belt really hard, too many times to count, have slapped me with a belt (only left red marks that faded after the day and thankfully wasn't that bad), or when I was younger,chased and held me down and hit me with a wooden spoon so hard it would hurt to sit down afterwards (these sorts of things are more in the past though, so no one cares). My parents will also grab me and force me to give them hugs, sometimes hard enough to nearly bruise me. My mom doesn't consider the physical harm abusive, saying stuff like how it's okay for parents to hit their kids in private, how she should have just made sure I didn't see my brother get beaten, how she despises the "PC" culture that doesn't let people use "corporal punishment", and mockingly saying "I'm sorry I didn't wake you up in the gentlest wittle way" and saying how waking me up is like Chinese water torture. My dad has also shaken his fists at and physically threatened me before, and will scream so intensely his face will contort and go red, and his voice will crack. My parents have pried my eyelids open when they think I am fake sleeping, as well, and my mom has occasionally cut off my breathing to make me do or consume stuff.

    They talk about cutting internet and phone service off completely sometimes, and it worries me, because they already tend to cut off outside contact for me. I had my laptop taken away for a month due to them being paranoid I was "talking to people on email", and I still don't have my phone back.

    Sometimes my parents will want me to do unreasonable things, like work 5 hours every day of the summer on large projects for them, and they get mad or have threatened to take away my stuff when I don't.

    My dad will scream or get angry at me for locking or closing my door, and once he woke me up at 6 in the morning by unlocking my door (I used to keep it locked when I slept), coming in, and starting to scream and shake his fists, threatening me with a fight if I said anything other than "yes, dad" and roughly grabbing all my electronics. Yelling at me how "I'M BLEEPIN TIRED OF YOUR BACKTALK" and how "YOU. DON'T. LOCK. YOUR. DOOR."

    My parents have said things ("as jokes", despite being serious or even angry at the time) like how "people are only nice to you because they're too polite to be rude", how I'm "nothing but a problem", how I'm their favorite because I "had the most problems as a kid" and they "felt sorry" for me. They have also mocked my physical appearance, saying how I look like a mental patient or a Nazi prisoner of war, or pulling at my clothes in a disgusted manner.

    My dad will yell at me sometimes on a small whim, and he has an explosive temper. My mom has also, a couple times in the past, been too lazy to get groceries for weeks (we are well off, she just didn't feel like it) leaving barely anything to eat at home.

    There's more I could go on about, but I tried to cover some of the notable things. There's a lot of other things, like eating my food, apologizing, buying me more, eating that too, etc etc.... Forcing me to stare into their eyes if they feel I'm not giving them enough eye contact, and making me do it over if I don't fully and seriously stare for as long as what makes them satisfied, mocking LGBT related matters pertaining to me, and otherwise...

    At some point my school contacted CPS, but it was worthless. The CPS workers were repeatedly disrespectful, disregarded my safety, broke promises multiple times (such as promising to call me before they contacted my parents), were extremely unprofessional and dismissive, both in person and in emails when they reached out to me a few times (the emails treated the whole thing lightly and dismissively, and also had terrible grammar and spelling to the point of being nearly unreadable), were consistently late from hours to days, were disrespectful and patronizing regarding LGBT matters, and lied countless times to manipulate me and get me to trust them. They lied about it being an investigation and about it being serious due to the allegations of physical mistreatment (even referring to how my parents woke me up as assault), but later revealed that it wasn't even an investigation and that they viewed the case as exceedingly minor and not even worth their time. They lied that they viewed my parent's treatment as abusive. Not only that, but they questioned my mental health and framed the issue as me being unable to communicate with my parents and having supposed "anger issues" (though I am known for being an exceedingly reserved and unassertive person in real life). And in the end, after they interviewed my parents (in which my parents slandered me as being stubborn, downplayed their treatment and how they woke me up, and the CPS worker took it, despite me warning that my parents acted kind and lied to officials in order to preserve a good image (they often rant about how much they hate law officials with their "liberal agendas", even mocking them and breaking agreements made). The fact my parents made cookies beforehand and offered them probably didn't help. In the end, they closed the case and all they did was suggest a therapy group for kids who "had trouble communicating with their parents".

    The only good part is that my parents couldn't imagine anyone sane accusing them of abuse (and such accusations "sicken" them), so they pretty much let the whole thing go as though it was nothing.

    I am just tired of professionals laughing at things (in the literal sense; I had counselors laugh when I told them about how my mom would pry my eyelids open and prod me with a stick), or treating me like I am lying or over-exaggerating. The people in my community know me as an honest individual, and yet, they dismiss what I say regarding this. No one cares, or they view it as minor and not worth their time. I should have seen it coming that CPS would never take the side of or believe the kid, and yet..... It still kind of hurts, I guess.

    Am I just being over-emotional? Am I just an over-reactive guy and this whole thing was pointless?
    I am trying to work and plan significantly and allocate my resources.... I want to get away before 18, but I don't know how likely that is.... Heck, even escaping at 18. I have diagnosed OCD, so it's possible people could slander my mental health to keep me under their thumb, and my parents already do things like make it difficult for even my adult siblings to get their legal documents.

    I just don't know how I can take it all. Sometimes, I have nightmares about my parents. Hearing them walk around or raise their voices makes me freeze up. I can't function around them, my mind gets disorientated...

    I don't know how intact I can make it out of things, and I seriously doubt the authorities will ever be on my side.
    All they care about is trying to make me go on anxiety medication because I'm afraid of my parents' explosive temper and how they wake me up on many days, or painting me as the unstable one.

    My friends and a few other families (and their parents) are aware of my situation, and they are pretty angry about how I am treated, but there is also nothing they can do. They have told me there was signs of the mistreatment long before and they were worried, but even now when they know, there's nothing to be done.

    I want to believe the future is worth something, that I can be free, but the reality is that my siblings are in their mid twenties and still haven't escaped my parents, whether because they don't want to, or they can't.

    I just want to feel like I can get free of it all, but the reality is that even if I plan and prepare as best I can, there's still a good chance I won't be able to get away at, let alone before, 18. Counselors have strongly suggested looking into certain medical/LGBT issues and my parents refuse. I still have to deal with it all each day.

    I don't know.

  • #2
    Thank you very much for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It takes courage to reach out and we understand it may not have been easy. Thank you for explaining exactly what is happening, it really helped us understand everything you have been through. We are sorry to hear that your parents are physically and emotionally abusive towards you. You do not deserve to be hit or physically hurt in anyway and the way your parents have been treating you is not okay. It is not fair to be hurt physically or mentally by them.
    It sounds like you tried to reach out for help multiple times but did not have any luck. It was unprofessional of you counselor to laugh at the struggles you are going through and we apologize that CPS did not do a good job and support you in your time of need. One thing that we may be able to do is to help you file another report with Child Protective Services; sometimes making multiple reports can be helpful towards building a case. Hopefully you can get someone who is more helpful this time. If you would like, we do offer a conference service where we can call with you and help advocate for you. All you would need to do is call us at 1-800-786-2929. Also, they may take you out of the home and place you into a safe place such as a shelter. Also, Child Help (National Child Abuse Hotline) is an agency that specializes in helping children who are being abused, they can be reached at 1-800-422-4453.
    You did not mention it specifically but given your situation, there is a National Suicide Hotline that you can also call to receive assistance; their hotline number is 1-800-273-8255 and they are also available 24 hours a day. Also, NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) is another great resource that may be able to provide assistance, their contact number is 1-800-950-6264 should you need to reach out.

    Here at the National Runaway Safeline, we are a confidential and anonymous referral hotline for youth in crisis. You can reach us 24 hours a day, 7 days a week if you would like to explore your options or try to locate additional resources. You can reach us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our online chat services from 4:30 PM-11:30 PM (CST), 7 days a week.

    We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck!

    ~NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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