What should I do?

[Guest]

I am 15 and I live in a severely dysfunctional family. My dad has always been a very mean person, but lately he's gotten much much worse. He's been taking steroids for chrome's disease and since he's been taking them he's gotten significantly more aggressive and mean. I know that this is a side-effect of the steroid use but when my mom tried to discuss it with him they wound up having a two-hour argument that ended with my dad angrier than ever and my mom in tears. I listened to their argument from an alcove upstairs where they could not see me and I heard almost their whole argument. My dad's repeated exact words were (when asked about his steroid use and and told that it significantly altered his behavior) "That's [edit] absurd." He says he's always been like this and that mom is out of her mind for telling him this. Also, I was diagnosed with a condition a few weeks ago, I went to see a doctor earlier and it turned out to be nothing to worry about. Anway, when mom and I got home and told him that I was fine he said in a very belligerently "I told you so!" Shouldn't he have been more appreciative of the well being of his OWN SON!!! Anyway my mom and I have talked it out at times when he isn't home and have considered running away. (There are many other cases like this, numbering probably in the 100's over the past four years). My mom just secretly went to a counselor today and she's not back yet. Depending on what she tells me that the counselor told her, we might run away. I have the numbers of several safe places to go to on my cell if we do decide to leave and I have all of your numbers.

I just really need some advice right now and I hope that you guys can give it to me.

[ccsmod8]

Re: What should I do?

Hello,
Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard. We empathize with your difficult situation and hope that we could help in some way. It sounds like you, your mother and even your father has a lot on each of your own plates right now and it simply need some solutions soon in order for life to get better for everyone in the family. There seem to be a sense of urgency right now in your life to get the situation on the wraps and we hear you on the fact that running away could be the only option for you and even your mother. However, we are crisis intervention workers here and we are not in a position to tell you whether you should run away or not. Therefore, consider some of these questions and we hope that you take the time to plan ahead carefully before you do run away. Do you know where you want to run away to and what plan do you have to survive? What do you expect life to be like once you run away and if you ever return home? It sounds like your life at home is a burden right now being that you are always around the arguments. Also your dad mean ways seems to be driving you to the point where you feel like you only have your mother alone to confide in right now. Are there ever a time when your family have quality time together and what are those times like? What are some ways you could figure out at the moment in order to distract yourself from the issues at home? What do you do for activities outside the house and is your father always in a bad mood? Are you ever able to approach your father and set up a time to talk to him about how the arguments make you feel? You said that he was always mean and now he is worse but how long is his condition going to last and is he always going to have to take the medication for his disease? Are there other medication he is able to take with less side effects and will he be willing to make this change? It sounds like you and your mother are very close and that is a good thing. You should use that as a way to advocate for yourself and her because this is a time when you truly need each other. Take every moment to empower each other and know that you are always welcomed to call us here at 1800-Runaway. You do not deserve to live a life where you are always uncomfortable and on edge all the time. It is not your or your mother's fault that he is being mean simply because of his medication. Maybe he doesn't really understand the effects of the medication and needs a third party opinion. It is not to condone his actions or feeling towards your situation at home and also his reaction to your sickness but have you ever tried to seek outside help whether through counseling or other family and friends. Your mother's need to seek out therapy secretly is to be commended and we have endless amount of options in our database if you ever need referrals to free places. Maybe she will be feeling better after he starts going and could inspire you to do the same. However, only you know for sure how much more you could put up with at home. It sounds like you have gone out of your way to empower yourself by finding outside resources to go to if and when you run and that is a good thing. However, take this time to think about what is best for you and your mother in the long run and give us a call if you need to wrap your mind around some other ideas. Good luck with your situation and we look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

NRS

[Guest]

i would tell you to deal with it but....

i have a similar problem my sister is also mean and unruley . she has a mental illness called bipolar disorder. itt has caused her to not stop yelling or correcting me and my parents. i hate hearing them fight. when they argue it is over the stupidest things but with all the anger that they have stored over the monthes in between the fights they dont talk for days. my sister is ten and like all ten year olds she knows what ticks me off, and she takes it to an advantage. just give your parents some space. when your father is mad he doesn't know it. the doctors will do the rest!!!!!!

[Unregistered]

Can you help? Anything would help.

So i am a 15 year old girl who has just moves from ohio to texas 2 days before Christmas of 2013. I have traveled to Europe in Nov of 2013 and came home in December to find out that i was moving to Texas. i went to my schools councler and she said there was nothing that she could do. i also spoke with a teacher and a few parents and they offered to let me live with them. it was too late for me to say goodbye to all my friends and family so i had left them and moved to Texas. I started school a month later and didnt enjoy it. there were alot of deug cases and pegnancies at my school but i was sent there because of their arts program. i started getting use to that but then my mother forced me into running track. she forces me into doing alot. it is like she is trying to live through me. i cry myself to sleep every night. i want to run away. i also have a girlfriend (yes i am a girl too ) and my mother doesnt know. she always gets mad at gay people or people who marry some one who is not their race. it bothers me. my mother also makes me watch my 16 month old sister and it gets old i understand that i am older but i also have two other siblings who are a bit younger than me. they all are my half sibling. my dad died when i was a baby from a homicide. my "step" dad (they arent legally married but tell people they are. was abusive to my mom when i was younger but not as much now. they argue and cuss each other out now. i just dont know what to do. my mom also makes fun of me because i am a black child who acts white and is almost like a hippie. it just hurts alot. i am more creative but my mother wants me to be athletic. i have tried standing up to her but i always get yelled at and have to play sports anyway. i am just depressed and tired. i am sorry for my grammar and punctuation. i am typing on an ipod and its acting up. could you please guve me advice? Thank You.

[ccsmod6]

re: Can you help? Anything would help.

Hi

Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear about the way things have been going for you. It sounds like the past 9 months has been very challenging for you. It seems that after your trip to Europe you had to abruptly move to another state. Such a move in the middle of the school sounds difficult. It sounds like you have been trying to manage the best you can. It is unfortunate that your mother doesn't seem as supportive as she could. Instead it sounds as though your mother is placing you under more stress by forcing you to replace the activities you enjoy doing with what she wants you to do. In addition, it sounds like you also have been given the responsibility of caring for your younger siblings. Are you receiving support from anyone? You mentioned that you are currently dating someone. Are you able to talk to your girlfriend about the things you are experiencing? Sometimes receiving support and being able to discuss your feelings can alleviate some stress.

Unfortunately we cannot provide advice or tell you what we think you or shouldn't do in this situation; since we are nondirective. However if you have access to a phone, we can be reached by dialing 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are always available to provide support, resources, and discuss options. Our hotline is toll-free, anonymous, and confidential. We are also available via live chat between 4:30pm and 11:30pm CST.

We really do appreciate you taking the time out to reach to us. It sounds like you are unhappy with your current situation and would like to know what could be done to change it. Remember sometimes it easier to receive assistance live (i.e. hotline, chat...).

We hope the information provided helps. Remember we are can always be reached 24/7.

Best Wishes
~NRS

[Unregistered]

Hello,
Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard. We empathize with your difficult situation and hope that we could help in some way. It sounds like you, your mother and even your father has a lot on each of your own plates right now and it simply need some solutions soon in order for life to get better for everyone in the family. There seem to be a sense of urgency right now in your life to get the situation on the wraps and we hear you on the fact that running away could be the only option for you and even your mother. However, we are crisis intervention workers here and we are not in a position to tell you whether you should run away or not. Therefore, consider some of these questions and we hope that you take the time to plan ahead carefully before you do run away. Do you know where you want to run away to and what plan do you have to survive? What do you expect life to be like once you run away and if you ever return home? It sounds like your life at home is a burden right now being that you are always around the arguments. Also your dad mean ways seems to be driving you to the point where you feel like you only have your mother alone to confide in right now. Are there ever a time when your family have quality time together and what are those times like? What are some ways you could figure out at the moment in order to distract yourself from the issues at home? What do you do for activities outside the house and is your father always in a bad mood? Are you ever able to approach your father and set up a time to talk to him about how the arguments make you feel? You said that he was always mean and now he is worse but how long is his condition going to last and is he always going to have to take the medication for his disease? Are there other medication he is able to take with less side effects and will he be willing to make this change? It sounds like you and your mother are very close and that is a good thing. You should use that as a way to advocate for yourself and her because this is a time when you truly need each other. Take every moment to empower each other and know that you are always welcomed to call us here at 1800-Runaway. You do not deserve to live a life where you are always uncomfortable and on edge all the time. It is not your or your mother's fault that he is being mean simply because of his medication. Maybe he doesn't really understand the effects of the medication and needs a third party opinion. It is not to condone his actions or feeling towards your situation at home and also his reaction to your sickness but have you ever tried to seek outside help whether through counseling or other family and friends. Your mother's need to seek out therapy secretly is to be commended and we have endless amount of options in our database if you ever need referrals to free places. Maybe she will be feeling better after he starts going and could inspire you to do the same. However, only you know for sure how much more you could put up with at home. It sounds like you have gone out of your way to empower yourself by finding outside resources to go to if and when you run and that is a good thing. However, take this time to think about what is best for you and your mother in the long run and give us a call if you need to wrap your mind around some other ideas. Good luck with your situation and we look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

NRS

Hello it is me again. my step father doesnt take medication. He is more of an Alcoholic and his mother is Bi polar. so could he have this too?

[ccsmod14]

Re:

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to us again. We are not medical experts here, but bipolar disorder does tend to appear more often when it is in past generations. If you would like to find out more on this disorder, we can certainly look up more knowledgeable resources for you in your area.

You said that your stepfather is more of an alcoholic. This has got to be a really hard thing to be around. Is there anyone that you feel like you can trust and talk to about this? We want to let you know about an organization called Al Anon. This organization is similar to Alcoholics Anonymous in the way that it offers support to its members/community. The difference is that Al Anon is for family and loved ones of addicts, sharing similar feelings and/or past or current situations living with or simply knowing addicts. You can find a local meeting through this website: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/local-meetings

Another resource we would like to provide to you is the Alcohol & Drug Helpline at 1 206 722 3700. In addition to our 24/7, anonymous and confidential hotline at 1800runaway, you can call the Alcohol and Drug Helpline to talk more about some of the things you might be dealing with regarding your step father’s alcohol use.
If you would like to talk more about your situation, receive any more resources or just talk we are here to listen and help you out the best that we can. We also have a chat option available through our website at 1800runaway.org, 4:30pm to 11:30pm CST.

Good luck and stay safe,
NRS

[Unregistered]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to us again. We are not medical experts here, but bipolar disorder does tend to appear more often when it is in past generations. If you would like to find out more on this disorder, we can certainly look up more knowledgeable resources for you in your area.

You said that your stepfather is more of an alcoholic. This has got to be a really hard thing to be around. Is there anyone that you feel like you can trust and talk to about this? We want to let you know about an organization called Al Anon. This organization is similar to Alcoholics Anonymous in the way that it offers support to its members/community. The difference is that Al Anon is for family and loved ones of addicts, sharing similar feelings and/or past or current situations living with or simply knowing addicts. You can find a local meeting through this website: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/local-meetings

Another resource we would like to provide to you is the Alcohol & Drug Helpline at 1 206 722 3700. In addition to our 24/7, anonymous and confidential hotline at 1800runaway, you can call the Alcohol and Drug Helpline to talk more about some of the things you might be dealing with regarding your step father’s alcohol use.
If you would like to talk more about your situation, receive any more resources or just talk we are here to listen and help you out the best that we can. We also have a chat option available through our website at 1800runaway.org, 4:30pm to 11:30pm CST.

Good luck and stay safe,
NRS

Sorry i posted it on the wrong thing. My bad

[Unregistered]

Hi

Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear about the way things have been going for you. It sounds like the past 9 months has been very challenging for you. It seems that after your trip to Europe you had to abruptly move to another state. Such a move in the middle of the school sounds difficult. It sounds like you have been trying to manage the best you can. It is unfortunate that your mother doesn't seem as supportive as she could. Instead it sounds as though your mother is placing you under more stress by forcing you to replace the activities you enjoy doing with what she wants you to do. In addition, it sounds like you also have been given the responsibility of caring for your younger siblings. Are you receiving support from anyone? You mentioned that you are currently dating someone. Are you able to talk to your girlfriend about the things you are experiencing? Sometimes receiving support and being able to discuss your feelings can alleviate some stress.

Unfortunately we cannot provide advice or tell you what we think you or shouldn't do in this situation; since we are nondirective. However if you have access to a phone, we can be reached by dialing 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are always available to provide support, resources, and discuss options. Our hotline is toll-free, anonymous, and confidential. We are also available via live chat between 4:30pm and 11:30pm CST.

We really do appreciate you taking the time out to reach to us. It sounds like you are unhappy with your current situation and would like to know what could be done to change it. Remember sometimes it easier to receive assistance live (i.e. hotline, chat...).

We hope the information provided helps. Remember we are can always be reached 24/7.

Best Wishes
~NRS

Hello again. I do tell my girlfriend what goes on but she tells me it annoys her that I complain about it a lot. About an hour ago we had an argument and broke up (We Just got back together a few minutes ago after we apologized to each other). She doesn't really know what to say anymore. she still lives in Ohio and it is hard. We are in the process of finding a home because we currently live in an Apartment and we found a home but it is far from my school. I talked to my mom in private today about not playing volleyball and she said I don't have to play, I can stick to my music. Then when her significant other ("my step dad") came in, she says I have to play. I am a Straight A student with a 4.0 Gpa. I have never gotten in trouble or anything. You would think that they would be more forgiven and a bit less strict. My teachers applaud me for my education. No one really know how stressed and depressed I really am. I stopped telling my girlfriend a bit of stuff to let her not have to listen to me all the time. Now I keep a diary that I write in. It helps sometimes but not always. I try not to cry myself to sleep at night but it is hard when you want change that won't happen. I already had a disappointing Freshman year, I do not want other years in the future. When I grow up, I want to tell my kids good moments about my teens years, not all bad things but I haven't had many good ones Except for my trip to Europe. Tomorrow I have to go to volleyball tryouts in the morning and evening for 2 days. My mom has talked to the coaches and to her it seemed like I am on the team again. But I don't want to do them. My parents say its to become a well-rounded person and so I'm not wishing to play sports in college, and so I get scholarship money. For once I just want to be able to do my own thing and be happy, and not have to put on a show for everyone and act like everything is okay when I'm really hurting on the inside. I just do not know what to do. I am sorry to keep bothering to you but I could use all the advice I can get if possible.

[ccsmod6]

Hi

Thanks for reaching back out to us. It sounds like you have a busy week scheduled ahead of yourself. We would also like to thank you for sharing additional information. It is unfortunate that you are not really able to confide in your girlfriend about the things you are feeling and experiencing. Remember we are nondirective so we are unable to provide advice. However if you want we can also offer local supportive services in your city. Sometimes youth shelters or centers are available that may provide counseling, support groups, and/or drop in hours. If you are interested, please feel free to give us a call or respond so that we may provide those resources.

And always we are available 24/7 and can be reached dialing 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are always available to provide support, resources, and discuss options. Our hotline is toll-free, anonymous, and confidential. We are also available via live chat between 4:30pm and 11:30pm CST

Best wishes
~NRS