I want to run away

[Guest]

I'm currently planning to run away, however I would need to run away to another country as I live in Singapore and I think that its too small to hide in case a search is put out. I'm currently 16 and things at home are horrible. Fights between both parents are happening more frequently and even fights between me and my father have been happening. My father(will be referred to as he) calls me all kinds of names even though me and my mom have been telling him to stop for 10+ years. He gets easily offended and has a horrible temper which has been getting worse these past few years and will slam doors, talk bad about me and my mom, and when he is angry will say things like"you all always make me uncomfortable" and he always say things like "use your brain" and says I'm stupid. He is bias towards my cousins and pays them more attention too. He has very reckless driving habits and it usually gets worse when my mom is not there and he wont listen to me either. In the past he even drove with one hand and was looking at his phone at the same time. However when i tell him not to he doesnt listen and his driving habits have become worse. At times when he looks at his messages too much I even become wary of him having an affair.......also we are not allowed to talk about things that he is uncomfortable about such as sleep and health matters. If we, especially my mom accidentally talks about something he is uncomfortable about, he becomes angry immediately and starts slamming doors and cursing. It is also quite hard to oppose him. If he asks me to go to my grandparent's and I refuse(because I don't feel well,or an exam is coming up etc) he either starts to guilt-trip me or gets angry/unhappy with me. I haven't been able to refuse for very long and only recently I have started saying I dont want to go, and even then, have evident fear when I refuse. Another reason I want to run away is because I have many bad memories here. Once both parents got into such a huge fight that my mom almost committed suicide by jumping down in front of me. For the past two years, it seems my body couldn't take the mental stress(as I was bullied through primary school and attracted bad attention in secondary 1 and 2) and I ended up with mental illnesses like ocd,social anxiety and severe depression when I was 15. This year, I fell sick and could not go to school for a few months. I missed exams, many classes and am falling behind in school work. The school has arranged for me to see counsellors but I think it serves to make my problems worse as keep on thinking that they will limit my freedom if I answer everything truthfully. My health is still going downhill and I have been eating less and have been falling sick frequently. I feel that if I continue staying in this house, my health will get even worse, and I may really end up committing suicide. I almost did just last week and was just one step away from crossing over the window still to jump down from the building. I am currently planning an escape route and what to bring, however I still have to stay a while as I don't have money and my mom has the password to the bank account and won't let me use my savings. Is it better to pack a luggage or just bring a backpack? Also if I manage to escape, which country should I go to? Also, if I can take it,should I wait till I'm 18? Finally, will this be reported to the police?

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help.
The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. Since you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: http://www.childhelplineinternationa...where-we-work/
We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

Best,

NRS