I’m depressed and my dad makes it worse

[Guest]

I live only with my dad and my dog. I lost my mom when I was in the second grader, and so I don’t remember her much. All I know is she was very overprotective and yelled at me a lot and wouldn’t ever calm me down because I would freak out. Lately the last few months my dad has been awful. It’s always on and off and I’m starting to wake up wondering if he’s in a bad mood and will take it out on me or in a good mood and be nice. The last few months he’s called me a ********** so many times, a moron, and a ********ing idiot. With others around he acts pleasant, besides my brother whose out of the house and has gotten in trouble many of times but doesn’t contact us anymore, but he’s always on and off terrible. It really hurts and even when he’s feeling nice I’m in an awful mood because of him and my depression that he yells at me about when I say something about it or when I’m crying. I don’t understand why my parents had to have me if they were going to just hate me. It’s making everything worse.

[ccsmod3]

Hello,
Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline and sharing so openly about your experiences at home. It sounds like it has been a stressful environment and difficult to interact with your dad. It may be good to thinking about having an honest conversation with your dad about how much he is impacting you. It can help to write it out first and then read from it. If you would like some support in talking to your dad, we do over a conference calling services where we can mediate a conversation where your voice could be heard but also allow for a conversation to happen about what has been going on.
You mentioned that you are feeling depressed. Also another way you can seek help is reaching out to a friend, teacher, or counselor at school that can help you look for resources. Your mental health is important. You can also look at SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) at samhsa.gov (call them directly at 1-877-726-4727) or NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness 1-800-950-NAMI to help you find the support that you need. If you do ever feel in direct danger, to yourself, or some else makes you feel that way, please call out to 911 or reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255).
We are here for you and will support you in anyway that we can. Please feel free to call into us directly as we can talk further about your situation and find resources that are best for you in your area. Stay strong and you are not alone in this! Our hotline ( 1-800-RUNAWAY) and chat are open 24/7.
-NRS