I need to leave

[Unregistered]

Im 14 and turning 15 in December and I dont have a dad (he died) and my mother is absolutely psychotic. She mentally, physically, and verbally abuses me. I dont wanna come off as a saint because thats deffinately not me. She mocks me, tells me to kill myself constantly because Id be doing the family a favor, she threw a bottle of pills at me and told me to take them and please dont wake up, she gave me $147 and kicked me out and told me the only way I can come back is in a body bag. She withholds food, wont buy groceries and only feeds my brother and they get along great. She has lied on me and got me arrested 3 times because she said I hit her and pulled a knife on her and I never layed a finger on her. The cops found out she lied and dropped the charges each time so my record is clean at the moment. Anyways Im planning on leaving sometime this week and there is close to nothing that can stop me because I cant stay here anymore. Im planning on staying away until Im 18. I refuse to go back and if I do I will keep running. I cant stay with my mother. She has done me and my family so wrong I will never forgive her. My dad was my favorite person even though he deffinately had his issues. He was a drug addict since 12 years old, physically abused me until I was 9. But he always made me feel loved and told me he would never hurt me sober and he never did. But my mother stressed him out so bad and broke him down to the point where he broke his 2 year clean streak and got hooked on pills, heroin, and cocaine. Its her fault hes dead she broke him down and now shes trying to ruin me. I need some advise as to what I can do incase I get found or what I can do to stay away from her.

[ccsmod12]

RE: I need to leave

Hi there-
Thank you so much for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It takes a lot of bravery to do what you’re doing and we are here to help as much as we can. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of stress at home, particularly because of your mother. Also, we are very sorry to hear about the loss of your father. You also shared that you have to deal with suicide in your household. It seems you have a lot on your plate and are understandably frustrated with your situation. Not knowing what might happen if you did run away can be difficult to deal with and we are here to provide as much support as we can throughout this process.
No one deserves to be treated the way you are at home. You deserve to be treated with care and love, especially by your mother. We are hearing that you are in a really unfair situation and we are sorry to hear that you have to endure this. It seems that you want to ensure your safety and explore options regarding living outside your home. We are not legal experts here, but we want to let you know that you have a right to make an abuse report with Child Protective Services. Your safety is our main concern. Another resource that may be able to help would be Child Help USA; they provide support to youth dealing with situations of abuse. Their number is 1-800-422-4453. Additionally, because you mentioned your mother verbally abuses you with suicide, it might be beneficial to contact the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK. They are available 24 hours a day.
As far as your concerns regarding what might happen if you run away, again, we are not legal experts, and it depends on your situation. Do you have a plan as to where you will stay when you leave home? We encourage you to call us here at the NRS so we could get a better-rounded look at your situation to help keep you safe. We would like to help you make a plan that includes potential alternative living situations. If you do runaway, because of your age your mother could file a runaway report which means that the police would have to take you back home if you were found.
You must be an incredibly strong person to have dealt with everything you are going through. It certainly is difficult to live in an environment where you are abused the way you have been. Please feel free to call us at any time at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) to continue our discussion and possibly utilize some of the many resources we have available here. We are always here for support. We wish you the best of luck in your situation and hope to hear from you soon.
Best,
NRS