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15 and wanting to run away

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  • 15 and wanting to run away

    I know I'm not the only one with family problems and it may be selfish of me to think this way, but my mom has put me through so much hell, I can't stand it anymore. I just want to be free. I can survive in the real world, I know I can. But I just can't find a way to leave without the police bringing me back home. At 8 years old, my father was arrested. He was a loving father, really. But my mom was cheating on him multiple times and he may have her a few times. I witnessed it. And so, the cops took him. Then my mom began to leave my brother and I with our grandmother while she left for weeks to, "explore." Then she would come back like she did nothing wrong. Then she would do it again! At 8, I had to grow up and be mature. I changed my brother's diapers, fed him, bathe him. Everything with my grandmother's help because I had to go to school. I learned how to take care of myself and how to cook and clean. I had no mother or father. They were nothing to me back then and they're nothing to me now. I've ran away so many times, it's unbelievable. My mom literally treats me like a slave. This one time, she was drunk. She hit me, leaving bruises all over my back. My aunt took me to the cops and we filed a report. What did they do?! They sent my mother a paper that "warned" her. So, she doesn't physically hit me now. But you know what she does? She makes my life a living hell. She grounds me for months for not getting an "A". Makes me clean every single thing in the house, take care of my 7 yr old brother and my 2 year old step brother while she leaves for the whole day. And then I see others that are my age having fun with their friends, going out to the park and such. It just gets me so depressed. I can't have friends because of my mother. I don't even leave the house unless I have to go to school. I even tried to overdose. I did it right enough my mother. You know what she said? She said, "You were a mistake anyways. Kill yourself, I don't care." I took 11 pills of Tylenol 3. It didn't do anything at all. I got dizzy but that's it. I just want out. Dead or alive. I don't even care anymore.

  • #2
    Hello,
    We are glad to you have reached out to us. You have mentioned a lot of stressful situation. We are sorry that you are going through all of these things. You don’t deserve to be abused in any way. It was really brave of you to reach out to us. What you have gone through and are still going through is not easy to share with someone.
    You mentioned suicide and we wanted to provide some resources that may be helpful to you. It may help to talk with someone when you are feeling like hurting yourself. It may also be helpful to have a person at school or in the neighborhood or even a family member outside of the home to talk to about these thoughts. When you are in a dark place and have thoughts of suicide you can reach out to them. A counselor from your school can also be a good resource to you. You can call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) and they can talk with you through tough moments like this. We would also like to talk or chat with you as well. You can reach us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or 1800RUNAWAY.org.
    You do not deserve the abuse that you have been growing through. You did mention that it is hard to make friends because of all that your mother demands. It could possibly be helpful to do things at school so that you can stay at school a little longer to avoid your mother’s abuse. Involving yourself with tutoring programs or sports. It could be a good chance to meet friends that can lead into spending time at their house. You have shared with us how much you help with your little brother and having other activities or places to go can help both you and your brother avoid the stressful environment at home.
    You said your aunt helped you with making a report and also that you have stayed with your grandmother for some time. Talking with family members and arranging an alternative living arrangement with another family member can help your living situation.
    Again, you are brave in reaching out to us. What you are going through is really hard and you have been strong through it all. You don’t deserve this and we understand why you are looking for a way out. You can reach out to the suicide hotline if you are having thoughts about it or you can reach out to us with a phone call or on chat. We hope everything works out for you.
    Take care,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Help

      Is there anything I could do to get away from her?

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Help

        Thanks for reaching out again. We're sorry you're having such a difficult time and we're here to help to the best of our ability. It sounds like you're trying to figure out options to get away from home. If you don't feel safe, finding a local youth shelter or safe place can be an option as well as filing an abuse or neglect report with your local child protective services. We don't know your city/state, but here is a link to National Safe Place. http://nationalsafeplace.org/ Please feel free to try out our Live Chat to continue talking about your situation and possible options. We hop you're able to keep safe in the meantime. Best of luck!
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment

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