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I'm 14 And I Need To Leave

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  • I'm 14 And I Need To Leave

    I'm 14, almost 15, and I need to leave.

    I have severe depression and anxiety- I've been cutting my wrist and thigh since I was 13. I've attempted suicide twice this past year, mainly because of my parents. In fact, I'm planning on leaving then finally succeeding.

    My parents don't seem to like me all that much. They say I'm lazy, spoiled, pissy, a liar, fat, a burden and an attention seeker. They like to go through my bedroom when I'm away- and not for the "safety reasons". They also go through my phone and say "You have nothing to hide, and we are your parents." My dad doesn't say "I love you" anymore, and my mom has made me drink a small portion of dish soap, eat peanut butter, which I'm allergic to, multiple times, has slapped and spanked me, but frequently says I'm ruining the family.
    No matter how hard I try, I am never enough for them.

    Honestly, I think the reason I'm alive is because of my music. Panic! At The Disco really helps me a lot, along with twenty one pilots, All Time Low and NF.

    Tonight, my dad walked into my bedroom and started saying that he works so hard and that I'm a lazy bum who does nothing even though I couldn't get out of bed. He told me to get up or he'd tell my mother. I did and felt tired. But I felt guilty so I began to cut my thighs.

    At dinner, he told my whole family(2 other brothers) and my mom about my "laziness". My mom said, "I hope you make her work the whole week."

    I need to leave ASAP. Once I leave home, I'm planning on killing myself. Then I won't be a burden anymore.

  • #2

    Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like there is a lot going on in your life right now. You do not deserve to be treated the way you have been. While it might not feel like you have options, you absolutely do. Let’s look at a few of them.

    We care about your safety and you mentioned that you've been dealing with suicidal thoughts. Your life is so importantPanic! At the Disco is absolutely worth sticking around for! There is also a number you can call if you start to feel like you need some additional help. The folks at National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255 or are there for you 24/7. We are too at 1-800-RUNAWAY where you can call or chat with us 24/7. You are not alone. To Write Love on Her Arms (321-499-3901 is an organization that can help with finding hope and connect with other folks who struggle with cutting and thoughts of self-harm.

    You mentioned your parents slap or spank you. There are folks over at Child Help (1-800-422-4453 or that can talk to you about reporting your parents for this behavior. They would be able to talk about what that process looks like and can help you report if that is something you decide to do to improve your home life. We can also help you with reporting. Both are available 24/7.

    Running away is not a crime and while we are not legal experts, we can talk generally about what happens if you leave home. Your parents will file a runaway report with the local police department and they will try to find you and bring you home. There are shelters available in your area, some require parental permission, but if that is a concern, we can look at the resources in our database. Call us or

    Again, we’re really glad that you reached out to us. It takes a lot to ask for help and you are trying to figure out your options which is really good to see. Contact us anytime. We’re here to listen, here to help.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


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