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I am 15 and i want to go live with my friends family

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  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
    While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
    It seems like you are very frustrated that your parents aren’t supporting your mental health and helping you through this tough time of seeing things and them dismissing it instead of helping you. You deserve to have support for this and it might help to talk to a school counselor about what is happening and ask for a personal counselor for more help.
    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi I'm 14 and I want to live with my friends family the reason why I want to move out is because I can't stand my family anymore they ignore me they think it's my imagination when I see things that I know is there but they say it's just your imagination.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    It’s really brave of you to reach out for help, we understand how hard it can be. It sounds like you are living in a difficult home and have been dealing with this for a long time. You don’t deserve to be physically or mentally abused by anyone. You should live in a home where you feel loved and safe. You briefly talked about suicidal thoughts and self harming. If you still are having those thoughts you can reach out to us (1-800-run-away, or 1800runaway.org) 24/7, or the National Suicde Lifeline (800-273-8255). Or if you start cutting again there are resources that are available to talk with you. You can again reach out to us, or to an organization called To Write Love on Her Arms (https://twloha.com/find-help/). Your safety is our number one priority.

    You also discussed abuse your mom is putting you and your sister through. You don’t deserve to be treated like that. It sounds like this isn’t new behavior from her and has led you to leave before. It seems like you really wanted her to change while you were gone. It is understandable to want that and give her another chance. It can be disheartening when nothing has changed after trying again. It sounds like you have grounds to file an abuse report to get help. We can help you through the process, or another resource is Child Help (1-800-422-4453) can walk you through the process.

    It sounds like you have a real supportive friend. That’s great their family is willing to take you in. You mentioned your mom has kicked you out before. That is a form of neglect. She has a legal obligation to give you a safe home until you are 18. If you do want to live with your friend and can get her to agree to let you, it’s called an alternate living situation. Sometimes it’s enough to get her permission in writing, and sometimes there is more official paperwork you can fill out at the police station. If you can do it this way, you won’t have to worry about the police looking for you, or your friends parents being charged with harboring a runaway. Again we are proud of you for reaching out. If you want to talk more specifically about your situation or any of the options mentioned here please feel free to reach out anytime.

    We are here to listen, here to help. Good Luck!
    -NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi. I just turned 13 in September. My mom is physically and mentally abusive, manipulative, and a narcissist, let's not mention how shes racist. I love my mom, but i ran away last year to my father's and i stayed there for about 8 months and came back to my moms because i thought she had changed. I started snapping at her because she kept asking me obvious questions over and over, and supposedly i had an "attitude" and i changed my mother when in reality she had plenty of time to change while i was gone. She went back into her old habits almost immediately. Screaming at the top of her lungs when i leave a piece of trash on the floor, backing me up in a corner sticking her finger in my face and poking me in the face, pulling my hair at the roots to make me look at something, hitting my sister so bad to where she screams out of fright just for disagreeing with her on a topic. The other night my mom was hitting my sister repeatedly and my sister couldn't even talk because she was so distraught. My mouth moved before my brain could think out of fright. "stop! Leave her alone!" My voice was shaking and i was crying. My legs were shaking and my heart was beating so fast out of my chest i couldn't even move. i was so scared. I cried myself to sleep that night. The only person who loves me without any "but's" is my dad and my best friend. My best friend, her mother, and her step mother have seen how she abuses me emotionally and physically. I get called names like "fat ass, idiot, dumb mother********er, goddamn **********, mother********er" etc. Im so conscious about my weight that i stopped eating breakfast and sometimes throw up my food because of my mom's harsh insults. I want to go live with my bestfriend because my dad is in the hospital because he had a stroke, and will continue to be there for another few weeks. I used to cut myself and scratch myself until i bled because of the life i'm living. I never got help for suicidal thoughts and being anywhere other than here would make my life so much easier. My best friend's family is financially stable, has 6 kids, and two parents who live with them. I love being there because it's a sense of relief just being with someone who makes me feel loved and gives me a shoulder to cry on, instead of having a shoulder im scared of. My mom told me she would kill me once, i'm so scared of her sometimes. Is it okay if my mom has told me multiple times to get the f**** out of her house at least every week so i could move in with my best friend? of course i wouldn't tell her where i was going, but if i was to move, my mom would not let me take anything she bought for me. Im a minor so she bought me everything. I don't understand how you can do that to someone you "love." and sometimes i get so stressed out i start hitting myself. Someone please help me .

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod4
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. Since we are not legal experts, you might consider asking your parent’s and his father to go over the legal details of any custody or legal arrangements and if they plan to consult a lawyer.

    We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    We wish you and your friend good luck.

    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    So my friend is living with his mom, even though his dad has custody of him. The dad and the mom had an agreement for him to live with his mom, but now she is making him go live with his dad because she is tired of him. His dad has custody of him, and agrees to him moving in with me and my family, is it okay? Does his mom still have a say so? My friend is 16 and I'm 15. If we had his dad write a letter saying that it would be okay, everything would be good, until his mom steps in. His mom doesn't like me, but his dad

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.

    We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello, I’m currently 13, turning 14 next year quite soon (in April) and I live in Malaysia.
    I have a good family and wonderful friends and a stable life at first glance, but I am crumbling. My parents are legal and biological, I don’t have any older siblings. I’ve been supposedly depressed last year, but I’m too scared to come out and say it because I’ve received backlash for self-diagnosing, and my father isn’t home most of the time so I have to tell my mother, but if I do, she’ll scold me and say “What’s wrong with you” and tell me to be grateful that I have a good life. I have no problem with my dad except the lack of communication between us, thus making me reluctant to tell him my problems. I have more problems with my mother. She is threatening to take away my privileges (drawing, using the iPad to do digital art, posting, communicating with friends online, playing) because I was rude to her(responding like “I’ll finish when I finish” even though she answers me like that too) I hate it a lot. Drawing is the only thing I’ve got going for me and I can only communicate with my friends online since I do not have a phone. I can’t tell me dad because of the lack of communication and I’m reluctant to confront my mother, because I’m scared she’ll call it disrespect and ungratefulness. I feel like I shouldn’t be feeling like this, since I am fed well and not physically hurt, but I don’t know how much longer I can go and at this point I am genuinely desperate for help and comfort. Is there anyway I can move out at the age of 13 without getting in trouble? I know a few friends who are willing to take me, but I don’t think their parents will be and I’m afraid I’ll be a burden. So many other people here have much more to go through and I feel bad for doing this. I’m so sorry for the long story.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for reaching out to NRS we know you are going through a really hard situation and we appreciate you trusting us with your story. From what we understand it seems like the home you are currently in can be very hard to live in. It seems like your dad is probably the most violent in the household. We are sorry that this type of abuse is going on and that you feel unsafe in your home. Something that really stood out to us is that your mom seems to be hit by your dad. Please know that you have every right to call the police or report that with us here at NRS. Hitting anyone is wrong and should not be happening to you or your immediate family. Options that you might have with getting help is maybe talking about the situation with a teacher or counselor at school. Even if you are online you can try and request you speak with them privately and let them know what's going on. Another person you could try and talk to is your mom. Get talking with her about how you feel and maybe come up with a plan about leaving the house and getting to safety away from your dad. Your mom might be afraid to but you can always refer her to us or even call 911 with her to get help. Know that doig any of this requires alot of bravery and sometimes it can feel a bit scary to report. Please know we can report alongside you on our hotline: (800-786-2929) or online through our chat at :1800runaway.org. We are here to help and we want to make sure you get the help you need to get out of a dangerous situation like that.

    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Be safe,

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Im 15 my family are all very negative, my parents constantly yell at me and i dont feel safe being home cause my dad hits my mom

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My best friend is 13 and is in a bad situation that I can't get her out of since she's a minor. What do I do?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thanks for reaching out to NRS. It sounds like there may be a lot of other issues going on at home and your wanting to live somewhere else seems like a good solution to you. There are a couple of things to consider especially since you are only 15. You do need your parent’s permission to live somewhere else and technically they would still be responsible for you unless they make a legal arrangement to have another adult be your guardian. If you just left, your parents may file a runaway report and if you wind up interacting with the police, they would be required to bring you home to your parents unless that is an unsafe situation. It is unlikely that your friends would be held criminally responsible for giving you a place to stay as a runaway. There may be other options we can discuss with you that might better fit your needs and situation. We are a non-directive agency and totally confidential. That means that we help you come up with a plan that works for you with the resources available in your area. You can contact us 24/7 on our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat through our website.

    Good luck,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I am only 15 and I want to live with my friends can I just walk out without my parents knowing and can I get in trouble for living with my friend without parents permission

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    We are glad you have reached out to the National Runaway Safeline, and are sorry to hear that things at home with your Mom have been so difficult. We hope we can be of some help to you today.
    It sounds like things at home between you and your Mom are really hard. You have definitely experienced emotional abuse, and it’s important you know that this is not okay. You deserve to be respected for who you are. Sometimes reaching out to a trusted other family member or friend or their parents can help you get some support in the face of this abuse.

    If you are ever seriously considering suicide, there is help out there. You can always reach out to us at 1800-RUN-AWAY to talk through things, or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be an excellent resource for people in the hardest of moments. They can be reached at 1-800-273-8255. For an LGBT-specific suicide intervention resource, you can call The Trevor Project at any time by dialing 1-866-488-7386. You may also find it helpful to reach out to chat resources like the LGBT National Youth Talkline at 1-800-246-7743 or the LGBT National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564. These people know intimately about the LGBT experience and can help you through some of the troubles that come from living in a homophobic home.

    It sounds like mostly you want to run away. 18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. Actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.

    We hope some of this information helps you improve your situation. If you ever want to call us, we would love to talk through your options, including running away. We are always here to listen, here to help.

    Sincerely,
    NRS
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