I am 15 and i want to go live with my friends family

[Unregistered]

so my family are all very negative, my parents constantly yell at me and is really tough to handle being degraded and unaccepted by my parents and siblings all the time
my parents constantly remind me that they cant wait until they can kick me out and never see me again
honeslty at this point I just want to leave go to a great college and NEVER see or talk to any of them again
I care about my academics and I am doing my best to achieve straight A's, I play lacrosse for my school and a club team and hope to get scholarship's for that, I also am trying out for varsity this year
also my family constantly sees the negititvity in me and refuses to see the good
I fight with my siblings all the time(twin and older sister) and I am always blamed for whatever we fight over
so I can't stand the emotional strain this takes on me, and I have a friend who lives about ten minuets away and goes to the same high school as I do.
her father is a single working man with three kids and one is special ed
they don't have a lot of money but enough to get by happily
I have told her about all the times my family acts negative towards me and understands how hard it is to live with them
we have been discussing two possible ideas (places to live until I graduate and move on to college) either get an apartment or live with her
I am not sure how an apartment would work because I do not have a job but I am planning on getting one as soon as I turn 16
also I am afraid if I live with them it would cause too much financial strain I know the family well and would be overjoyed if I could enjoy the rest of highschool with them
so how can I leave, move on, and succeed in the rest of my life when I leave my family at the age of 15
also how could I go to college if the family cant afford it? would my parents pay for it or would my new gaurdians be responsible? and what about food?

[ccsmod7]

Re: I am 15 and i want to go live with my friends family

Hello there,

Thank you for sharing your home situation with us through our online forum. It seems like you are very motivated and have a lot of really great goals for your future. We’re sorry to hear that things at home are going so rough that you don’t feel like you can continue living there. No one deserves to live in a negative environment where you are constantly degraded.

That’s great that you have a lot of support from your friend and her family. There’s definitely a lot to consider when leaving home. You’re already thinking about a lot of important things like money, food, and college. You might want to consider talking with your friend’s dad directly and seeing if staying with him is even a possibility. Being responsible for another person is a big thing to take on. If he is willing to have you stay with him and the family, your parents would have to give permission, whether it’s just informal or them giving up their legal custody of you (which involves filling out legal paperwork). You mentioned the idea of getting your own apartment. Usually, you must be 18 in order to rent an apartment on your own.

As far as paying for college, that’s not exactly something that all families can afford, nor are parents obligated to pay for college for their children. If you were to leave home permanently, do you think your parents would still be willing to help you pay for it? There’s also other types of help with college finances. FAFSA which is a financial aid option for college students, determines the amount of financial aid that a student receives based off of the income of their guardians. Here’s their website: https://fafsa.ed.gov.

We would be happy to talk to you more about what you are going through at home or your specific situation in more detail. We can also look up legal aid resources in your area if you want more information about guardianship transference. We hope to hear from you soon through our online chat or our 24 hour hotline.

Best,
NRS

[Unregistered]

Re: I am 15 and i want to go live with my friends family

okay, so my dad got a new girlfriend last year and she has 2 kids and they kept it a secret. and i have been thinking because it really bothers me knowing that my dad kept such a big secret from me. so ever since they started dating i have been treated like crap and i have talked to my mom but if i move im moving far away from my friends. when im at my house with my family or whatever they are i feel unsafe and unwanted i cold come home from school and tell my dad im being bullied and he'll be like get over it i get yelled at for whatever the younger kids do. so i have made my desision i want to live with my friends family i feel safe there and they treat me the was i should be treated

[ccsmod15]

Re: I am 15 and i want to go live with my friends family

Thank you for reaching out to NRS! It sounds like you’re going through a really tough time, but we’re here to help you and support you in any way we can.

That must be really hard for you to feel unsafe and unwanted in your home. It sounds like you have good support in your friend. Since the legal age to move away from home is 18 in most states, the easiest way to leave home under age 18 is with your parent’s permission. Running away isn’t a crime, but your parents could file a runaway report, the police could get involved, and the people you are staying with could get in legal trouble. There are many resources out there that could help you get more information about leaving home, help you work through struggles with your family, or help you with anything else you may need. If you want more details about any resources, or if you’d like to talk more about what you’ve been going through, you can feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online.

Again, thank you for reaching out to us. You’ve been going through a lot of hard things, but you’ve shown a lot of strength by reaching out for help. If you ever need anything in the future, feel free to call us or chat with us online. We’re here to listen, and here to help.

[Guest]

Im a 15 year old girl ,, I absolutely do not think I can handle being in this family anymore. I'm mentally going crazy and I can't take it. I love my mother to bits but I absolutely despise the disgrace I call dad. I hate this man with a passion. He destroys my life. I'm so unhappy and it's been this way for years. I grew up bullied and depressed and it stay that way. I'm not bullied anymore because I snapped and started getting into fights but that's besides the point. I hate my life so much I wanna kill my self. I've tried multiple times and been hospitalized for it. The way my father has me on lock down is absolutely insane. Any time I could get out of the house I am. I'm so much happier when I'm out freezing in the cold with nothing to do and that says a lot. I'd rather be out in the snow then inside the house. I'm so miserable and every single day I wounder and think about leaving. But then I think more and realize it's dumb because i don't have money , a job, or a place to stay. Yes , my friends would love to take me in but they can't it don't work that way. I can't even explain what goes on in this house but my father makes me so crazy. I'd rather kill myself then live in this house for another three years I in all honesty do not think I could do it. I want to kno how to get out of this house and I have a responsible friend that's 18, had a job, and a place for me to stay ab would love to be my legal guardian and he sees how truley unhappy I am. Just in general not just with the house. But it's a lot on me. I hate myself I hate my life and I wanna die but I know for a fact that if I get out of this house and surrounding myself with people that make me happy I'll be so much better and I honestly think that my life long depression would end. I need to be in a better place I just cannot do this anymore. Why does it have to get to the point to where I'd rather kill myself then stay in this house ? No , I am not abused but that doesn't matter. I'm unhappy and miserable. I shouldn't need my parents consent if I want to be with someone else. If the person wanting to take me in is responsible , has a good future and good grades, has a job and a plan and is willing to provide for me and proves it I should be able to without they consent. It's ridiculous. It really shouldn't get to the point to where I wish I were dead that's terrible. It shouldn't get to the point where I have to change my name , my appearence, and my location to GEt away. That's so extra and it's terrible. I really can't be in this house. Is there any way that I could do that without they're consent ? Please give me hope . It shouldn't go this far. Every day the questions run through my head. Should I kill my self ? Should I just leave? It really shouldn't get to this damn point. I'm 15, and I'm not dumb. I'm actually a lot more mature than people my age because of the people I hang out with and grew up with. I was always rocking with the older crowd and my mental age is a lot older than I am. I be forgetting that I'm 15 , and so do my friends. I don't have the best grades in school But I play a lot of sports, and do other activities. My grades are only down because of home work. But please please please tell me there is some way to get this done without parental consent.

[ccsmod6]

Re: I am 15 and i want to go live with my friends family

Hi,
Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runway Safeline. We are so sorry to hear about everything that you are going through. It sounds like a very stressful situation and it is clear that you are unhappy. In your post you mentioned attempting suicide before and wanting to attempt it again. Suicide is really serious and we are sorry that things at home have gotten bad enough for you to attempt it and contemplate it again. Your life is important, and next time you feel that way a good resource would be calling the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. They can really help you out and be a great outlet for you.
It sounds like you really love your mom and your main issue is with your dad. It seems like he is really strict with you and it is making you feel isolated and contemplate running away. A social life is pretty important, so it makes sense that being on lock down is distressing for you and making you feel alone. Unfortunately since you are under the age of 18 you cannot leave home without your parents’ permission, as they could file a runaway report. This means the police would be out looking for you and would have to take you back home if they found you. It is possible that your friend could also get into trouble for what is called harboring a runaway if your parents decided to pursue legal action against them. A good idea could possibly be to talk to your mom about how you are feeling and see if maybe she can talk to your dad about everything. Maybe your mom could get him to loosen up a little bit and give you some more freedom.
Some other resources that might be helpful to you could be seeing a therapist, talking to a counselor, or talking to a trusted teacher. They are there to help you, and being able to talk about these things with someone could take a lot of pressure off of your shoulders. It seems like you’ve got some really great friends that care about you too, which is awesome. Talking to them when things get especially rough with your dad could also really help you with your stress.
Again, thank you for taking the time to contact us. If you want to talk about things further feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, our hotline is opened 24/7 and one of our liners would be more than happy to talk to you about what you are going through. We wish you the best of luck!

NRS

[Guest]

I am 15 years old and i want to go live with my friend's family
Me and mom have been arguing lately and i just cant take it anymore, we are not arguing daily but shes just really harsh on me and i feel like we both need a break from eachother i think this will gives us time to really just think and just take a break.Also i can really focus on my education more. My friend and her family really care for me, they are so kind to me and dont mind me staying with them. Im just scared if i ask my mom permission she will say no and things will get worse than it is, i need help how can i do this?

[ccsmod14]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.

We’re sorry to hear about the challenges you’ve been facing at home. It sounds like you might be feeling overwhelmed by things at home. We’re not legal experts here so it’s hard to say what your mom can legally do. However, your safety and well-being is important so if you are ever at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

While we are not legal experts, if you were to leave home without your parents’ permission you could be brought home and whoever you are staying with could be charged with harboring a runaway. This can be a lot to think about and we are here to help you through this.

The easiest way to leave home is with your parent or legal guardian’s permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to them. We are also available as a resource to facilitate a conference call with your family and to help your side get heard. You can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY if this option is something you may be interested in pursuing.

You can reach out to us at our 24 hour confidential hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or live chat with us from 4:30 PM -11:30 PM CST and we would be happy to support you through this.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm 15 years old, and I want to leave my home. My Dad and step mom are constantly attacking me, whether it be the way I dress, my weight, or just anything. I'm what people call emo, and my step mom is constantly judging me AND my friends just by the way that we look. She even went so far as to throw away most of my clothes because she didn't like them. My dad told me that I'm the reason he wants to kill himself, and my step mom has made all of my siblings hate me. She turns everyone in our family against me, and now I have no family members that would want me to stay with them. I don't have any friends to stay with either. I have already run away from home 5 times, but it gets me nowhere, and I just want out of here. Is there a way that I can be put permanently into foster care?

[ccsmod16]

Hello,

Thanks for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We’re glad you contacted us, and we know it’s not easy to ask for help.

It sounds like your relationships with your family members are very strained and it’s understandable that you’re feeling the need for a change. If your father or anyone in your family struggles with suicidal thoughts or tendencies, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1(800)273-8255 for help. Unfortunately, as a minor, your legal guardian(s) would need to agree to allow you to stay away from home, whether it’s a friend/family member’s house or a shelter. If any abuse has occurred, abuse reporting is an option and would possibly enter you into a shelter or foster care. We are not legal experts and every case is handled differently however, so we would not be able to tell you exactly how your situation will pan out.

So just a little by about how the child abuse system works, if abuse is happening at home (verbal, physical, sexual) a youth has the right to report it to the proper authorities. When that happens they will either decide whether or not to take the case and investigate. If they do happen to take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will proved family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the child from the home and offer certain services). So there is no way of knowing which way they are going to rule, their main goal is to keep families together.

If you’d like to call us at 1(800)RUNAWAY, we’d be happy to talk with you about some options. We also possibly have resources in your area that could help and could walk you through abuse reporting if that’s needed.

Again, thank you so much for contacting us, we’re glad you did. We’re here 24/7 and would be happy to speak with you anytime to help you through this tough situation.

[Guest]

am I allowed to move to my friends family house at the age of 13?

[ccsmod0]

Hello,
We're glad you reached out to us. We'll try to help. We are not legal experts but if you leave your house without your parents' permission you can be considered a runaway. If your parents file a runaway report, the police can look for you and return you home. You might want to talk to your family about the situation and see what they say.
We understand that sometimes talking to adult can be intimidating, so if you like we can do a conference call with you and your parents. You might also want to call us to talk about the issues at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are here 24/7 and are confidential. Good luck!

[Guest]

Okay so I am 15 years old and I literally hate my home life. My step mom is way too strict and will give me way too hard punishments. I've been wanting to get out of my house for a while now, and at the moment my dad and I are staying with my Aunt Robin and Uncle Chris. But the only reason we are with my aunt and uncle is that I tried taking my own life. And this is all in my sophomore year. But I tried killing myself my freshman year too because I couldn't deal with my step mom anymore. And I still can't. I'm getting help, but I won't want to live as long as my step mom is in my life. She just makes everything too stressful for me and she just makes me hate life and want to hurt myself. Even when I'm not living with her. But if I live with my best friend I will be okay. Or if I live with my sister and Aunt Tracy and Uncle Kirtus. I know for a fact that my friend's mom will love to have me live with her. She was even all for it when I tried running away to her house. But my parents would never let me do it. And I don't think that my Aunt Tracy and her family have the room for me, or at least they don;t want to have to take in another one of my dad's kids. I just don't know what to do because if I stay in the situation I am in right now I know for a fact that I will end up killing myself, but I don't want to do that to my friends or my family.

[ccsmod15]

First of all thank you so much for contacting the National Runaway Safeline! It sounds like you have been going through a really tough time at home but it’s great that you are trying to better understand your options. You mention that you have attempted and think a lot about suicide. This is a very serious matter and if you are ever having the urge to harm yourself do not hesitate to contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. If you ever need support or someone to talk to this is a great resource.

You also mention that you really want to leave home to get away from your stepmom. It’s a good idea to have a conversation with your father about how you’re feeling and maybe have one other trusted adult there to help mediate the conversation. This adult could be a teacher or counselor at school that can help you and your dad express your feelings and goals. If you are not able to make a plan with your dad about living somewhere else it’s important to know what could happen if you decided to runaway without his permission.

If you decided to leave home he could file a runaway report. Every local police department handles runaway reports a little differently. You can contact your local police department and ask them hypothetically what they do when a runaway report is filed. It’s important to make sure you feel safe wherever you go and that you will be able to fully support yourself. If you are unable to leave home and your stepmom is still bothering you, it can be helpful to brainstorm some coping mechanisms to distract yourself. Maybe journaling more, going for walks, or getting more involved at school so you don’t have to be at home for too long at a time.

If you want to talk about any more options you have or ask more questions feel free to call us at anytime. We are available 24/7 to support you at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We wish you good luck with everything!

[Guest]

Ok so yes I'm 15 and I want to live at my best friends house. Only because ever since my parents divorce not too long ago things have been going badly. I live with my mom at her parents house along with 7 other family members. My mom has been neglectful. She goes out every night spending money on where ever she's going and drinks when she could be using that money on things I need. When I ask her to she tells me "we dont have money for that" which really angers me because she spends it on herself. At my friends on the other hand life is different. Life is better. My friend is a single child with both parents with good jobs. They are very caring people and they live right next to my high school. I tell my friend everything that goes on with my life and she wants me to stay with her all the time. Her parents wouldn't mind me there either. I talked to my other grandma and she said that I should stay with my friend too. I also talked on the phone with my dad and he agrees that I should stay with my friend, and how that would be cool if I could. He also said he's going to move out of state and that could go with him but I dont want to leave my friends that are like family and my school. Speaking of school, my grandma also told me how my mom doesn't care anymore and that I will move schools closer to where we're living, which is a big no no. I will not leave my life behind because her and my father. Right now I don't want to deal with my mom and her bs. So will I be able to move into my friends home?

[ccsmod7]

Hello there, thanks for reaching out today.

It sounds incredibly hard to deal with your mom’s neglectful behavior in a crowded household. If you are not getting your basic needs met such as food, clothing, shelter, and medical care you do have the right to report neglect to child protective services. To learn more about reporting could look like in your situation, you might contact the expert child advocates at Child Help 1-800-422-4453.

Sounds like you have gotten permission to live with your friend through your grandma and dad. That is awesome that they are on board for you living with your friend. It is also great that you have such a supportive friend. Unfortunately, you can only get permission from your legal guardian to be able to leave home. We are not quite sure based on your post, but it sounds like your mom has primary custody of you and your dad might have partial or no custody of you. So you would need to get permission from your mom to live with your friend. If your dad has any custody of you, you might have him talk to your mom and advocate for you living closer to the school that you have been attending. Sometimes bringing a trusted adult into the conversation can help when your mom is not hearing you.

If you are unable to get permission and you leave home, your mom could attempt to file a runaway report for you with your local police if you are under 18. If you are found by police after being reported as a runaway, you typically would be returned home. If your friend’s parents house you while knowing you are a runaway, they could be at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway.

If you call or chat us we can talk through your situation and try to brainstorm additional options for you. We are here 24/7 by phone and truly want to help.

Best of luck,

NRS

[Guest]

I'm 15 years old and want to move out to live with friend just for school year cause it will help me out

[Guest]

I'm 19 years old and I have ADHD and I have one blind eye and I want to live with my friends mom and be able to take care of me and go places my parents never do that anymore and they yell at me and I can't take it anymore and they won't let me out someone help me and I can get a job up north and move on with my life

[ccsmod15]

Hello,

It sounds like a challenging situation to be in to have parents that no longer want to do activities together and yell at you. Since you are 19, you are considered an adult. If you pursue job opportunities up north, and your parents decided to call the police due to you leaving the home, the police would not be able to bring you back home since you are no longer considered a minor. Some other things to think about is transportation, living arrangements, and budgeting. If you have further questions or need further support, you can always call us here at the National Runaway Safeline 1-800-786-2929. We wish you the best of luck!

[Guest]

I am fifteen years old and from Munford, Alabama. Since I was younger I've had some bad sexual experiences and when I was twelve my parents found out about it and never treated me the same. I've been suicidal since I was nine and have since been given medication and a therapist for it. Recently both of my parents lost their job and are now not very stable in the financial department. They are also emotionally and mentally abusive, though they rarely ever lay their hands on me or my siblings, they do, however, call me names like retard, and idiot all the time and have told me many times that I'll never make it to college and that they wish they never had me and have even told me I was a mistake, but then turn around and say they love me and that it would be a mistake to call me a mistake. I suffer from sever anxiety, depression, bipolar 2, split personality, and am being tested for two other mental diseases right now and the things they say and do to my not only hurt my feelings deeply, but make me feel like a disappointment and utterly confuse me, which isn't good at all. I've been clean from cutting now for about as long as my boyfriend and I have been together and have thought about going back to it a handful of times because of them. I want to move out and live with another family member or a close friend, I want to talk to my parents and some other family members about it tonight, what do I do if they(my parents) say no?

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

We’re glad you wrote into us. It sounds like you’re going through some tough challenges and you’re brave and resilient to reach out for support. We appreciate you explaining a bit about what's going on and we hope that our response will be helpful.

You mentioned dealing with suicidal thoughts and we want you to know that your life has worth. You're not alone in this and we're glad that you have a therapist to talk to. If those thoughts becomes too overwhelming, please don't hesitate to call 911. If you're afraid to call on your own, we can help you make that call. There is also the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 (or suicidepreventionlifeline.org), they are open 24/7 and so are we. We’re here to listen and here to help.

You also shared that you had some bad sexual experiences when you were younger. It sounds challenging and confusing that your parents treated you differently after they found out about the bad sexual experiences. We, along with the resources above, can offer non-judgmental support. A resource that can offer you support is 2nd Chance in Anniston, Alabama. They can be reached at 256-236-7233. They are affiliated with the national RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) agency which can be reached at 800-656-4673 or rainn.org. The YWCA can also offer support for sexual assault or sexual abuse. The YWCA in Alabama can be reached at 205-322-9933 or www.ywcabham.org.

It’s never okay to be called names or to be emotionally or mentally abused. You don't deserve to be treated that way, in any situation. If you leave without your parents consent, running away is not illegal. If you want to find out exactly what the police in your area would do in that situation, we can call the local police with you. It's understandable why you'd want to go live with your friends family. There's an organization that helps youth find ways to get their custody transferred to safe adults or family members. It's called Child Help (800) 422-4453. We’re not legal experts, but we did find legal aid in your area that could better answer any questions regarding being able to live with your friends family; Legal Services Corp. of Alabama at 877-393-2333. You mentioned that finances aren’t stable at home so please know the phone numbers mentioned above are free.

No one is a mistake, including you. You are strong and resilient and we believe in you. It takes courage to reach out for support. We’re so glad you reached out. We’re here to listen and here to help. You can reach out 24/7 to us at 800-786-2929 and we also have a chatting system via our website (although that service is not open 24/7).

Be safe, NRS

[Guest]

Hi..I am fifteen and live in Missouri.
I live with my aunt and uncle..my aunt is my legal guardian. I don't live with my mother because she is in prison, my father dead. I have lived with them since I was ten.. my brother got kicked out..sister ran away (and moved because she's 17) leaving me alone..the people my sister live with are accepting to having me move in with them.. my aunt and uncle however, are not. I told them today and they kept saying no and that I have no say. They told me the only two places I would ever be in is here or juvi. I told then juvi but they can't even put me in because I'm a good kid. I'm treated horrible..emotional abuse is what I'm told by many. I suffer with self harm to this day.. I just never feel like I'm enough. I hate living here, I'm treated pretty bad.. they have threatened to keep me from contacting my mom (who's in prison) ..I love my mom dearly and the thought makes me want to rebel more.. they threatened to take my pet rats (odd, yes but they are so intelligent and without them I'd be more upset..animals are everything to me tbh..I'm even vegetarian so I hope I can express why this is such a big deal)) they threatened to take my pet rats and put them in the garage..which has no heater..they would freeze with winter coming. I told them no. I want to move with my sister so badly I am tempted to run away..they keep saying I have no voice.. do I have a voice? If so, how can I be heard?

[ccsmod15]

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are dealing with a difficult living situation, and we want you to know we are here for you, and are glad you reached out.
First things first, your safety is our #1 concern. You mentioned that you suffer with self-harm, which can intensify in times of distress. To Write Love on Her Arms (twloha.com) is an excellent website that provides support around self-harm. Depression is a dark place, and reaching out to people for help/support is a great first step.
We are by no means legal experts, but generally if you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your legal guardians could potentially file a runaway report. While this won’t get you in any major legal trouble (status offence), it does means that if you were encounter law enforcement, they would be required to return to you your legal guardians.
You are enough. Your feelings are valid, and any type of abuse (including emotional) is not ok. It’s important to have a strong support system in place to turn to when in need. Friends, teachers, and counselors are all great resources that provide support.
You’re very brave and smart for reaching out and trying to get help. We would be more than happy to speak with you further about your situation to offer support or help come up with a plan on actions. You can call our 24 hour hotline anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).
Take care,
NRS