I am 15 and i want to go live with my friends family

I’m 15 years old my moma constantly abuses me because my grades are not good I just need somewhere to go to get away from her please help

[ccsmod5]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to us, we hope to help as best we can! It sounds like home is pretty overwhelming right now. You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your father. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made. You also mentioned he could be physically abusive at times, your safety is the number one priority. If you are ever in danger or fear being harmed please don’t hesitate to call 911, you should mention the physical abuse to Child Help as well.

You spent a long time living with your friends family, they may be able to help support you if you decide to make a kind of report. If they would like to continue to have you live with them you can consider having them help you talk to your father about going back. Sometimes having an adult help talk to a parent can change the way they see things.
We hope this helps. Please reach out if we can offer any further support.

Be safe,
NRS

I'm 15 and I wanna go live with my friends family I have previously lived with my friends family for a year but my father has recently made me come home hes a bad person me and my 2 sisters live with him and I cant do it i dont know about my sisters but I cant I wanna live with my friends family cause my father is horrible he is verbally and emotionally abusive and sometimes physically abusive dhs has done nothing about it

[ccsmod15]

Hello,

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are very sorry to hear that you are in such a difficult situation at home. Please know that you do not deserve to be treated this way. You deserve to feel safe and cared for in your own home.

It sounds like the police were involved with your family when you ran away. They may have filed a report with Child Protective Services. If you want to take this further and report the abuse by your dad, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or contact us via digital chat at www.1800RUNAWAY.org, and we can help you with this process.

You ask whether or not you can legally stay with your friend’s family. While we are not legal experts, we can tell you that the age of majority is generally 18. This is when you can move out without your parent’s permission. If you parent were to file a runaway report, the police could find you and bring you home. It is not a crime to run away; it’s considered a status offense. Your parents could file charges against your friend’s parents for harboring a runaway but these charges are difficult to pursue. That being said, you could consider asking your mom if she would allow you to stay with your friend for a while, just to give you a break. If you contact us, we can help you look for information regarding emancipation in your state or any other resources you might need.

We hope you will give us a call or chat. We are available 24hours a day/7days a week, and we are here to listen and to help. We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,

NRS

I am 15, and in arizona. My mom is always yelling at me, and she always says that eat too much food, even though I am losing a lot weight. She always tells me that I'm dead for her and that she can't wait until the day I move out. She's also always asking me to run away, and saying that she'll be a lot happier without me. I did run away once, but I was unable to tell the cops everything, so they sent me back home. My dad is currently in India, but he has sexually, physically, and verbally abused me many times. He's gonna be coming back soon, and I'm terrified. I have been telling everything to my best friend. I want to move in with them just for this year, because I want to get emancipated as soon i turn 16. My friend's dad is currently in California, so she's waiting for him to come back so she can talk to both of them at the same time. But since my mom is always telling me to leave is this legal, if my friend's parents agree? I am doing very well in school, I always try to maintain straight A's, and I have started my own club. So I can handle responsibility. And if this is legal how should my friend talk to her parents?

[ccsmod3]

Hey there, and thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step.

We're sorry to hear that things with mom have been pretty challenging, and it sounds like it's really wearing you down. Moving away from home is a big decision, and it's generally a good idea to try and have a plan in place before committing to doing so. One of the major things to consider when thinking about staying with someone else is whether or not your mom will agree to that arrangement. Without her consent, there is typically a risk of potential legal ramifications for the family that allows you to stay with them, often based on the harboring of a runaway. It's also possible that your mom reports you as missing or as a runaway, which can make things even more difficult for you as well. If your hope is to avoid some of these risks, it's probably a good idea to make sure your mom is comfortable with you staying with your friend and agrees, or to try and hold off until you're 18 and can legally make those decisions for yourself.

If it ends up making more sense for you to stay home until you're 18, using the time between then and now to develop a solid plan to leave when you're 18 might be a good idea. Consider where you'll go, how you'll get there, and what you'll do to survive once you're there. If college is on the table, now would be a good time to connect with an advisor to make sure your FAFSA is completed, and see what options are available to you in terms of housing, as well as what that timeline looks like. Work-study programs can help you balance your financial obligations with your education. If college isn't something you're considering at the time, thinking about jobs and traditional routes to pay for your housing can be helpful. This might be a good time to work on a resume, save money, and try to find some roommates who can make living independently a little less challenging from a financial standpoint.

As you continue to think about what's next, you might find it helpful to connect with someone you can comfortably talk to, like a therapist or a social worker. Having a supportive person in your corner that you can talk things through with can be beneficial in general, but especially when things are feeling really overwhelming and during these transitional times that we experience in our lives. If this is something that you're interested in doing, a good starting point would be with your school social worker or counselor. You can also reach out to us here at NRS and we can try to find local counseling services in your area as well.

If you'd like to chat in more detail about what's going on, continue to explore some of your options, or snag some referrals to nearby services, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us live at www.1800runaway.org.

Take care!

NRS

I never thought i would be writing in this yet here i am with everything i got in my hand pouring my heart out. I never had a good relationship with my own mother and I understand that i have done somethings to make her not trust me but i try i really do but it never works because either the next day i get into trouble for small things and she blows up on me and calls me things and brings me down it takes to a point where she makes me feel as if the im not worth anything she says .."you dont deserve this" and i feel like i dont deserve things. Sometimes i give credit to myself for the awesome grades im pulling this year like maybe watch a youtube video or i think i deserved to wear lashes to school but i get yelled for it and not just a little its this whole show with her cussing and screaming and I just cant deal with it every little thing i do feels wrong theres more things but i dont want to get into it without crying the point is she screams and makes me feel horrible calls me things that a mother shouldn't be calling her own daughter and sometimes things get out of the chapter aggressive. I feel so bruised up mentally and hurt from the outside. I wanted to see if theirs a way from me to move out to my friends house her parents are willing to do it. and al li want is to be happy and continue doing well in school so good things pull in I dont need negitive things bringing me down im the most sweetest person i make ppl smile because i cant smile when im in the household and i want to be happy and do my own things I dont know i go numb sometimes because im 17 and im almost 18 soon i think i should wait but at the same time I just dont want to go insane and be just so damaged from inside'What should I do ?

[ccsmod5]

Hi there,
Thank you for reaching out, we understand it can be difficult to take that first step. We are here to listen and support you as best we can.
We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best, we can help answer any questions as well as provide resources if needed.
With everything you have been going through, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Sometimes having someone to talk to can make all the difference. We are here if you need to talk to someone, as well as these other hotlines you might find helpful. NAMI is the National Alliance on Mental Illness; The NAMI HelpLine is a free, nationwide peer-support service providing information, resource referrals and support to people living with a mental health conditions, their family members and caregivers, mental health providers and the public. HelpLine staff and volunteers are experienced, well-trained and able to provide guidance. You can reach them at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or nami.org.
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe and stay strong,
NRS

hey i have a question is it bad that im scared to go home..? my grandpa is really abusive he hits me an my brother hes 5 im 15 i don't know what to do i already reported him to my school but they cant do much i still cant get away from him no matter how hard i try he bust in my room all the time an yells my brother is all i have my mom me when i was 9 after my brother was born i have suffered from so much i used to hurt myself an be so down on my self an im trying to change how i feel about myself but im scared for me an my brothers safety, i brake down in tears randomly an just cry i try not to show my brother me crying but its hard to hide all this inside when i have been for so long, my friend offered me to live with her but i don't know if i should should i moving with my friend, im so lost i don't know what to do next. what should i do? do you have any advice for me?

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us and sharing a little bit about what's going on. It's not right that your parents won't respect who you are and that they say degrading and abusive things to you. It must be difficult to hear someone close to you say such horrible things. Just so you know, you have the full right to file an abuse report about your parent's behavior, as well as their threats against you (it is not legal to kick a minor out of the house, for instance). If you decide to report you can do that through us or through www.childhelp.org (1-800-422-4453). Filing a report doesn't necessarily remove you from the home immediately, but it could start a process in which that eventually happens. Of course, it's your choice whether you decide to report or not. We never tell anyone what to do and respect your choices.

It sounds like you want to leave home. The easiest way to do this would be to get your parent's permission. If they don't give you permission and you decide to leave they could file a runaway report. Anyone you stay with could be accused of harboring a runaway, which is a crime. Of course, there is so much to consider when making this decision, such as how your parents would react, how this would affect your future, and so on. At the very least, it's really great that you have a supportive friend that is willing to take you in. But you may want to consider what the ramifications might be. Again, this is not to tell you what to do, but just so that you know what might happen.

You may want to consider other options in addition to running away. For instance, perhaps you can talk to your ex's sister and explain that you would appreciate if she doesn't tell your mom that you are dating same sex people. Maybe that would defuse the situation a bit. You also may want to think about what other support networks are available to you, whether you decide to leave or stay: friends, school counselors, support lines, chat rooms, and so on. Here are a few hotlines and websites you may want to take a look at or contact:

www.glbthotline.org (1-888-843-4564)

LGBT National Youth Talkline: 1-800-246-7743

www.thetrevorproject.org (1-866-488-7386)

www.twloha.com (regarding self-harm)

Of course, we are also always here for you 24/7. The best way we can help is either by phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or via chat using the chat feature on our website: www.1800runaway.org. When you call we can talk about what you are going through in more detail as well as brainstorm options, whether that involves running away, talking to your parents, making an abuse report, or just coping with a bad situation in the near-term. Remember that we are confidential, non-judgmental, and never tell anyone what to do. We hope to hear from you soon!

Please stay safe,
NRS

Hi, I'm 15 and I'm wondering if I could move out and go live with my friend. My parents are super homophobic and I'm pansexual. When I told them I liked people of the same sex when I was 12 they got insanely mad and were being extremely homophobic towards me. My mom said it was "sickening" and that if I want to "associate with trash then I can go live on the streets with the trash" She's told me several times that I can't continue to live here but I've never asked to move out because I'm too scared. I just got out of a relationship and my ex's big sister is about to tell my mom I'm still dating people of the same sex when I promised to stop 3 years ago. I'm not old enough to get a job but I might try to get a worker's permit. My friend has already offered to let me stay with them because they have extra room. I have fairly good grades and I do believe I could get a scholarship for college. My friend and I go to the same high school so that wouldn't be an issue. My friend and their mom work at the same place so I could possibly work there too and give them half the money I make to help pay for food and clothes as well as the standard water and electric bill. I would try to live with my grandfather but he's nearing 70 and he's got a lot of health problems. Unfortunately I don't have a phone so I wouldn't be able to talk to him until I purchased one. And I'm scared to do this because I know moving out would mean that I couldn't talk to my little sister or see her either as well as my older brother and grandfather. I'm the only one my parents have a problem with so my little sister will be okay and my older brother just turned 20 and can move out when he wants. Along with that, I am recovering from self harm and being here isn't helping me any. I honestly don't know what to do anymore.

[ccsmod15]

You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.
In regard to you leaving home while we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

We hope this helps. Please reach out if we can offer any further support.
Be safe,
NRS

hi there, I'm only 13 but I've been emotionally abused, and my therapist thinks so too, my friend offered for me to stay at her house. Should I go?

[ccsmod16]

Hi,
Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline – we are here to help and to listen!
We’re sorry to hear that your friend had been hurt by her sister’s friends, and that her parents verbally abuse her. She does not deserve to be treated that way, and we are glad to hear that she has a friend who cares about her like you do!
You mentioned wanting her to live with you, but being unsure about how to go about it. Here at NRS we aren’t legal experts, but can speak generally on this. Leaving home without your parents’ permission isn’t illegal, but it is considered a status offence. She wouldn’t get arrested for leaving home, but her parents have a right to file a runaway report with police and ask them to bring her home.
Something to keep in mind is that many states have ‘harboring a runaway’ laws, this means that whoever takes her in after she’s run away from home could face legal charges. Those charges have been known to increase once the youth has crossed state lines.
You mentioned that she is not interested in having a child abuse report made, but in case she changes her mind we wanted to leave you with the number for ChildHelp (1-800-422-4453). Normally reports are taken when there is recent and documented evidence of abuse, but this also depends on who takes the call. Any ChildHelp hotline worker can answer questions about what is considered reportable.
We understand that the situation with your friend must be stressful for both you and her! We strongly encourage her to reach out to our 24/7 hotline or chatline to discuss her options further. An option through our hotline is having a conference call between her and her parents, sometimes it helps to have a difficult conversation when you have a neutral third person.
Best of luck,
NRS

i want my bestfriend to live with me (she is 15)


my bestfriend lives right next to me and i don't like the way she is living because her mom yells at her for no reason what's so ever and then her dad is always telling her "if it wasn't for me you would be on the streets" and one time her sister's friend had this one 25 year old chick come and bang her head on a car because she gotten jumped. and everyday she always has to clean such ass, mopping, sweeping and she also has to take care of a 2 year old child that isnt even hers. i just want her to have a normal teenage childhood, we live next door and she cant even come over to my house or even stay over besides we are kind of in a relationship but her parents wouldn't support us at all, and im moving to Virginia soon and i am just scared that something could happen to her. i mention to her about family court but she just doesn't want to do it because there are 2 others under the age of 18 in that house and she doesnt wanna get DCF involved and they take them away to somewhere else. her dad calls her a "conbrona" and i think that is very messsed up. i just wanna know if there was a way for her to come and live with me.