Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I am 15 and i want to go live with my friends family

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,

    Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline again. We are glad to hear that things have improved a bit, but want to honor that you still feel troubled at home. We commend you for reaching out to us—it takes perseverance.

    It sounds like you are considering talking to Dad about leaving home to go stay with another family member. This is good—sometimes we just need space from home life, and you definitely have a lot going on at home. We always encourage young people who are considering leaving home to think about how they will get to where they are going and what they will do to survive once there. It sounds like in your case, you have solid ideas for a good, stable place to live. The next step seems to be talking to Dad about it, as this is a crucial part of figuring out how you will get there. Talking to Dad means the difference between arranging for an alternative living situation with consent and running away without consent. Of course, you can do whichever you feel is best for you. There will be some consequences to consider around running away, like the police becoming involved if Dad calls them. You will never be arrested for running away, but it’s possible the police can bring you back home.

    If you feel like you can talk to Dad, this would be a good way to avoid police involvement. We would love to help you with this. If you ever want to reach out to us at 1-800-RUN-AWAY or you can instant message with us by going to 1800runaway.org and clicking “Chat,” we are available 24/7. We also have an amazing service called Conference Calling, through which we help organize and mediate a conference call between you and your parent. We can help you voice your needs in a healthy and productive way to Dad. If this sounds interesting to you, just call or instant message us to initiate it.
    We thank you for reaching out again, and wish you all the luck on your journey. We are always here to listen, here to help. Please consider us a friend in your times of need.

    Sincerely,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello, thank you so much for giving me some advice on that, it means a lot to me. Over, the last four days I have been feeling kinda upset but I never really said anything, my dad has been very nice recently but I am afraid of how long that might actually last. I have been thinking recently about talking to my dad not only about counseling but also about letting me distance myself and to go stay with another family member for a while at least until I get my head straight. It's not that I don't like being at home, it's that I just feel like I am being too repetitive on mu bad decisions like I know that they are wrong but I still end up making them and I think that is because I have 5 other siblings which are all younger than me and I don't always get the attention I want/need and the only attention I did get is the attention when I am in trouble but that's not the attention I want, I want the attention where they are proud of me or the attention when I make them laugh. I feel so useless in my own home like I have mentioned before I feel like I cannot call my house a home, I feel so uneasy in my home, compared to when I am at another family member's house I have so much fun, I laugh with them and we have full-on conversations and I also have people to talk to, I don't get any of that at home. Like, with my grandmothers, for example, every time I go over there I feel free to be who I am and do what I love and even talk about anything on my chest and I am very comfortable with talking to her about anything because every since my real mother left when I was 3 months old sh has been there, she is not only my grandmother but she is the mother I never had and my true best friend. And, it's the same thing with one of my aunts and uncles, they make me feel so loved like they always remind how much they love and care for me and there was even a time when they were gonna have me live with them for a while but that never told me what happened. I just feel like I need to go somewhere else for a while to wrap my head around straight and then I will return home when I am ready. It's nothing my parents did wrong it's something I am doing wrong and I want to fix it so it doesn't happen again. I know, that being a teenage girl isn't easy but to be honest, I don't think it should be this hard either, no matter where I go I walk around thinking "Am I gonna get yelled at for doing this?" because I am so scared of being yelled at I have to watch my every move and every step or else who knows how it will turn out. I know, it might seem like I am being dramatic but really I am not, this is one of the only places I can really speak my mind. I really want to go stay with my grandmother or my aunt and uncle for a while until I can get myself figured out and get the help I need but I am really worried to talk to my dad about it because I am scared that he won't understand anything or he won't be willing to listen. My grandmother, aunt, and uncle have always been the ones there when I needed them the most and they always tell me that I am welcome over anytime or if I ever needed a place to go I could always go to them and I never thought that I would need to take that offer but now here I am really hoping that offer is still open, but I'm not really sure. Every morning I wake up hoping that something good will happen but something in my head causes me to think that I am not good enough for something good to happen to me and I end up believing that. I had this dream last night and it was of this bottle and it was just overflowing and I was just crying and the more the bottle overflowed the more I would cry and I knew that was a representation of my feelings and how I just push them deep down inside and when too much has come to me it overflows and I just start crying and my day is ruined but that only happens when I don't express how I feel to a trusted adult. I feel so closed off from the world like I am just in this bubble and everyone around gets to go live their life but that's not what I want, I want to live my childhood and go out and have fun and live my life before it's too late. Do you think it would be a good idea to distance myself and go stay with another family member until I get better and when I feel like I am ready I can return home? Please tell me what I should do.

    (P.S. I tried the link "www.1800runaway.org" and it didn't work).

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,
    Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story with us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you feel oppressed at home and are worried about how your father treats you and how genuinely he may care for you. It is understandable to feel freaked out after a bad dream like that and want some comfort about the situation. It seems like you are being really thoughtful about the situation and want to make a plan that gives you the best chance at finding a more comfortable solution. It seems like your parents are trying to be supportive of you and make your feelings feel validated when they say things like they know exactly how you feel but that it just serves to make it feel worse instead.
    Counseling does seem like an option that might help. A personal counselor for you, or a family-based counselor to see if your parents are maybe able to change their actions or perspective a bit to be more helpful for you. We do have a database that includes counseling resources that we could help you to find one in your area if you wanted. You also mentioned that you pray as well, if you do attend church regularly there might be help that the pastor could assist with mediating or giving helpful tips for your parents on your behalf.
    Your letter also seems like a great idea to be able to share your feelings if your dad isn’t up for listening verbally. At the very least writing down your thoughts can be cathartic and help you to sort out your feelings and make sense of them a bit more. We also offer Conference Calling mediation services if you wanted to talk to him on the phone with a mediator there to help keep things on track and focused on positive results.
    We are always here to listen and support you if you want to talk more. You mentioned you felt like you might never be enough, but I challenge you to ask enough for whom? The only person that needs to be happy with you is you. Your parents should be there to support you and help you grow into the person that you feel comfortable being. That doesn’t always look like the same thing for each person, and if you never fully figure out what you want to be there are plenty of others in the same position. We encourage you to reach out to talk more by phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat online at www.1800runway.org.
    Good Luck,
    NRS.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello, I am a 14-year-old girl who finds it very hard to live in her home. I am constantly feeling like I cannot call my own house a home but I am too afraid to tell my dad and my stepmom, I haven't really told anyone but my friend's mom, and I love my father I really do but I can't keep dealing with this. I have been for many years, and recently I have been thinking about getting counseling and maybe distancing myself from my family for a while until I feel like I have become a lot better and ready to return home. MY parents tell me that they know exactly what I am going through because they have been there and they are constantly comparing my childhood to theirs and I keep telling myself that just because I grew up slightly different than them doesn't mean they know exactly everything that I have been going through. And, I plan on talking to my dad about distancing myself but I am afraid of what he might say or the way he might react but the only difference is that I have a few people in mind that I know would accept me into their homes because they have seen what I go through but my number 1 person I really want to live with is my grandmother because she has always been there for me even when my parents weren't, she has always given me advice and she has never let me down, and there has already been a point in my life where my dad was gonna send me to live with her and I don't know why he backed out, but there have been multiple occasions where I was honest and old him I don't want to be here or I told him that I wanted to leave and he told me that it was gonna hurt him to watch me leave and I just believed that me leaving would be the best because of course I wouldn't be gone forever because I have siblings but I just needed a while to myself without having to worry what I am doing wrong and what I might get yelled at about. I am currently on punishment for something that was wrong of me to do and I have already noticed that and I prayed to the lord to help figure out what it is that I need to do and how i can fix my problem and the Lord told me to go to counseling and I am taking his word, so I wrote my dad a letter today (which I plan on giving to him if he won't talk to me today when he gets home from work) that tells him how i have been feeling and how I think it would be best to distance myself for a while and return home when I am ready. Last night, after getting yelled at I had a dream where I had a few friends stay the night and I got up in the middle of the night to go get food with one of them and I was telling the others what I and the other friend were doing and one of them looked at me possessed and told me they were a kid from the other side and he wanted to kill me, so my friend and I ran to my dad who was still awake and tried to tell my dad everything and he said he didn't care even when I mentioned that they wanted to kill me he still didn't care and at the end of the dream the demon got me and I woke up terrified and shaking and I was so afraid that one day something bad was gonna happen to me and my dad wasn't gonna care. I'm starting to feel like I'm not enough and I never will be but I am constantly reminding myself that I have a purpose. Can, you please tell me what I should do and how I should handle my situation?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
    While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. This is something to keep in mind if you want to stay with people in Kansas. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
    The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you would like to look into further emotional support options, you can text with a crisis worker at the National Alliance on Mental Illness 24/7 by texting "NAMI" to 741741.
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I am 15 years old and I would like to live with my friends family in Kansas but I'm from Oklahoma could my mom do anything about it

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for taking the time to contact us here at NRS and we appreciate you sharing your situation with us. Reaching out for help is a great first step to getting any support you may need. It is okay to feel that way about your birth mother and her partner and your feelings are 100% valid. It is not okay for them to harm you in any way or for them to justify their actions. You mentioned your mother forces you to work for her at her business and isn't always paying you. This is awful and your mother is very unfair in pressuring you to work especially without fair compensation. You deserve to be treated with respect and to feel cared for.

    If you want to leave, a helpful start could be to reach out to friends or family members that you might be able to stay with. Talking to parents about wanting to live away from home can be very difficult and having an adult on your side to advocate for your needs could help. Perhaps there is an adult in your life you can reach out to for some help with this.

    You shared a few things that make us concerned for your safety and well-being. You do have the option to make a report to child protective services. Their goal is to ensure that you are safe and getting the care that you need. You can speak to an advocate at an organization called Child Help, childhelp.org, to learn more about the reporting process and what it might look like for you.

    We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

    Stay strong,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I have been having some of the same issues with many people on this website and I don't feel safe or at peace with my terrible birth mother and her fiancé who both are not fit to even be called parents. They use not having good lives in the past as their excuse when confronted and say they only do to us what they have had done to them by their parents, but I don't believe that's true, mainly because of the fact that I have been hit by both of them with both their hands and objects. When we were younger and more powerless they used to yell at us for things that we probably shouldn't have done but they also yelled at us for some unnecessary things as well and decided their only way of getting a point across was to use a wooden paddle that was originally used for a boat/kayak that had been cut so that they could swing it faster and has had to be fixed using tape because of the force they hit us with it.
    sorry for any grammatical errors or other mistakes, I have almost failed English classes since I can remember. I know that if I try to get someone involved with this that they think can do something to take me away from them, they'll just use excuses or try to say that im lying. I feel that they only keep me here for labor that they do not wish to do, (my mother runs a bar she forces us to work for) and the situation used to be a lot worse because we moved last year to take over a restaurant that has been run by family for a while and my mother felt like it wasn't important to pay us for working there. She now pays me and my 14 year old brother 5 dollars and some change an hour and my 10 year old sister about 3 dollars an hour. Sometimes miscalculating and saying that we didn't actually work that day, even though we have schedules.
    I have wanted to live with someone, anyone else for as long as I can remember and actually got permissions from one of my friends parents a long time ago... but then that friend and 3 other of my friends got into a crash... and nothing has been the same since. Only one of them survived and it was one that I didn't know very well. I just know if I try to do anything my parents will find SOME way to make it not work, and then probably beat me for it. They won't sign any papers allowing me to go with anyone or anything. My mother has threatened to call the police on me for something as little as going with some friends to a baseball game, which she claims to have been wanting to protect me, but then promptly beat me sometime in the next week for it. Is there any way I can get help please me any my sibling, even though we fight a lot and have some... other issues... we need to get away from here.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    replied
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
    While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    Be safe,
    NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I need to know if I’m legally allowed to live with a friend without parents consent at 16. My friend is turning 19 in a month and they are planning on moving into an apartment, I’ve told them all about my situation and they’ve agreed if it’s allowed I can go live with them for a bit. Currently it’s not only my family but the whole area I live in. I live in a bad city/area. Not only that my parents are toxic and manipulative. They always try to argue with me over any little thing they can find and it’s hurting my mental state. I need to be around people who are supportive and loving, but this isn’t helping out. Am I legally allowed to leave?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. From what you mentioned, your mom is not providing a safe or supportive environment for you and it has been taking a toll on your mental health. This is not okay for her to do and home is supposed to be somewhere you feel cared for. You deserve to be treated with respect and to feel happy and supported. Leaving home to live with family members can certainly be a big decision to make and we want you to know that you are not alone in this.

    The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.
    We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

    Stay safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I’m 15 and I don’t have a bad life. I used to be extremely over weight which has now caused me to have bulimia. I also have anxiety and experience panic attacks. I moved away from my bow town when I was 8 but I live 2 hrs away with my mum ,her gf and my little brother. My grandad wants me to move in with him which I want to but it will break my mum. I have tried to OD and I attempted to jump off a bridge of which I rang my grandma in tears and she told my mum I’m moving out for abit. I came back after a month and nothing had changed. My step mum is exactly the same as she was with me before and my mental state is in shambles. I never feel happy living here and I would rather move in with my family. I’m in the uk and I’m 15 idk how it works.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod4
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

    With everything that you have been going through at home with your parent’s it took a lot of courage for you to reach out. We appreciate you sharing your feelings about the situation. Well done. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. It’s not your fault that this is happening. You the right to want to feel safe.

    You also have the right to file an abuse report to Child Protective Services.
    Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or maybe even your friend and their mother.

    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

    If you would like to talk more in detail please call 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in.

    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 9-1-1 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Ok so I'm 15 and I really don’t like living in this house I ran away and the second time I did I got beat and my made me stay with my friend which was where I ran off to and I didn’t mind it at all, I loved it there I was treated so much better there his mom said I could stay as long as I wanted but my mom made me come back these rules at our house is observed I have to do everything and when I ask why I get punished even more she has been abusive to all my sibling when she is mad 9/10 she is mad at someone or something and takes her anger out on my siblings I can’t stand it here at all I never want to come back if I can leave this place I just want to stay with friend not because of video games it's just I like it a lot better there his mom is really nice and treats me like I'm her son and I like it. I know it's legal stuff that has to happen to not come back home but I know if I try to get my mom to agree to anything I will get everything taken and just treated even more poorly and even beat again we also constantly move because of our step dad and her who argue almost every day even physical and destroys the whole house I can’t take it anymore I just want to leave without her going to jail or getting beat even more for wanted to leave what should I do?
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 07-07-2020, 02:00 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. It takes great courage to reach out for help. We are sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult time.
    You deserve to live in a good and safe environment. Have you considered bringing this up with anyone else like another adult relative ? Talking to a school counselor can also be helpful.

    You also have an option to call the Child Help USA hotline to file a neglect report if you choose saying your living situation is not safe. You can call them at 1-800-422-4453.
    Leaving home can hard and unsafe in many situation. It is important to think about where you might stay and how you might pay for living expenses. While we are not legal experts speaking generally if you are to leave home without your parents permission the police can bring you back home and whoever you stay with can be charged with harboring a runaway and get in trouble.

    This can be a lot to think about and you are not alone. We are here to support you during this hard time. If you would like, you can call us at our 24 hour confidential hotline at 1-800-786-2929 and we would be happy to listen to you, explore your options and provide any resources.

    We wish you the best and hope to hear from you soon.

    Best,
    NRS
Previously entered content was automatically saved. Restore or Discard.
Auto-Saved
x
Insert: Thumbnail Small Medium Large Fullsize Remove  
x
x
Working...
X